Originally posted by SoonToBeDJ
I have been playing it cool since, but I thought I read somewhere that anytime a girl ditches the first date without a very good reason the best thing to do is next her.
Another thing I should add is that when she cancelled on me she knew I was pissed. I didn't say anything mean at all, but when she told me she couldn't go I was just like "oohhh you're flaking out!! I can't believe you!!" and then she started saying how really sorry she was and I was just quiet and she asked me not to hate her. I said alright...and shes like we WILL reschedule!! I just said ok again and then we hung up. I was thinking a little later I kinda messed up by showing her I was pissed so I messaged her later and said that I shouldn't have acted the way I did and it was ok. She replied later that she was really sorry and we would reschedule **some day.**
Like I said I thought I read somewhere that I should next her and the fact that she hasn't brought up going out again since that the "some day" was just BS.
I don't care about salvaging this one, but for future reference where did I screw up? Should I had not let her know I was mad?
ok, feel free to disagree with me, but I think your attitude is all wrong.
One thing that stands out is this:
"so I messaged her later and said that I shouldn't have acted the way I did and it was ok"
That was a big mistake and has probably blown your chances for good. It's perfectly ok to show a woman that you won't tolerate flakey behaviour and what you said on the phone was justified.
If a woman agrees to a date and flakes out, and especially if she waits until the day of the date and for YOU to phone HER before she tells you its off, then that's disrespectful. You should inform her that you won't tolerate that kinda of sh!t. Women AREN'T attracted to pushovers who they can control; if you're walking around on eggshells trying not to upset her then you won't get very far. If anything you should've been more harsh than you were... now there's no need to get angry, just let her know that you won't put up with behaviour like that.
Another mistake you made was to appologise "for the way you acted", that is absolutely not the way to go. There are several in-depth theories about why you should (almost) never appologise to a woman....but essentially, it confirms that you were in the wrong and shows you to be unsure of your decisions. Basically, it let's her know that she's the one in control and that you're willing to change your attitudes/walk on eggshells just to keep her happy. AF mother****ing C stuff. On a related note, if you give your opinion and a woman disagrees, DON'T backtrack and try to meet her half way:
you: "I love starwars, its great film"
her: "Naa, I think the plot is blah blah"
You: "thnking about it, I suppose your right.. *anythng to agree*"
WRONG! you don't want to come off like you're trying to impress her/win her favour/whatever.
Bottom line,
don't worry so much about upsetting her. Ironically, being overly tolerant and trying everyhing to keep her happy is the kiss-of-death. Do your own thing, have fun and if a woman behaves in a disrespectful way be sure not to let her get away with it.
Concerning the girl we've been talking about, based on what I've read, a NEXT is the easiest thing.
