Girl becoming a mental burden...

[squirrels]

I don' t know if it's unnatural to feel this way, but I imagine it is. I'm not sure what to do about it.

I'm sure some of you have seen my posts about the "dancer" I've been dating. We went out to shoot pool, she absolutely sucked at it, so we both got smashed and were making out, but she got ticked because I made her pay half for the date. Then about a week later, she calls ME, we go to a movie and dinner, and I end up hooking up with her. Maybe a week later, I call her up, she hangs up on me TWICE to talk to someone else, says she'll call back, doesn't call back until the next day, all apologetic.

We're supposed to go play mini-golf tomorrow afternoon.

The thing is...I'm really NOT looking forward to it.

I mean, I hang out with this girl, we talk, we laugh, we make out. I guess it's weird, but I just don't feel all that enthusiastic about seeing her. The sex was good, save the fact that I couldn't last long enough. I just feel...burdened by her.

It's not her, she's always girly and giggly and smiling, and she has a steady job and has her hobbies. I just feel like something's not clicking. It's not like I miss her at all when I go home. And although we're "seeing each other," I just don't know if I feel like it's going anywhere.

I'm seriously thinking about cancelling the date tomorrow and just cutting off ties. Or maybe I'll cancel on her for tomorrow and see if she wants to come over tonight to "watch a movie," because I wouldn't mind trying the sex thing again with her.

I mean, maybe I'M messed up in the head, wanting to just break off with a girl who I can laugh and talk with and have sex with. But you know, I call her up and I'm like, "So what did you do this week?" and she's like, "Nothing...school...work...*giggle*" And she is NEVER busy when I call her for a date...it's almost unnerving.

But you know...aside from sex, I really don't see myself enjoying a future with her. I kind of want to move on, find some more interesting girls.

Does this make sense to anyone else?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

This is compleyely normal - I get extremely bored with chicks that I'm not compatible with and have no desire to keep their company, although they may be an easy lay. You are at that stage in your life where you need more than sex to keep you interested in a woman. This is good, this means that you are maturing and value things beyond the flesh! You want a woman with common values and interests.

This girl disrespected you when she didn't call you back. Next time when a girl tells you she'll call you back, tell her "That's ok, concentrate on your important phone call and call me tomorrow."

 

[MisterAl]

This is a first-hand insight to how flaky women function mentally about this stuff.

Turn the gender roles around and you'll see how a woman can flake out for apparently no reason on a decent guy that isn't even making big mistakes.

She's a fun, pretty girl who gives you good sex, but doesn't pull your IL strings hard enough. I bet if this girl did a vanishing act you'd want her more. Unless, of course, you've got more lined up.

"It's not her..." "It's not him... but we're not clicking."

 

[squirrels]

So you think it wouldn't be out of line for me to call her and tell her, "Sorry, I can't make it tomorrow. It's supposed to rain Friday and Sunday and I need Saturday to work on my car. But why don't we go rent a DVD and you can come up to my place and watch?"

Note that I had already told her about the car and that it might affect our plans so it's legit...and I think she'd be cool with watching a movie. This is the girl who, when we came back to her place on the first date, set a stack of porno tapes in front of me and said, "Pick one."

Worst that could happen is she'd say "no," and I could call up this other girl who seems like she's dying to hook up with me.

 

[NewMan]

Squirrels,

How do you feel after you fvck her? Do you want her out ASAP?
Do you want to leave ASAP?

I've been in a similar situation - sometimes I've forced myself out on a date with a girl - only done it for the sex - then when it's over I want to get out of there as soon as possible.

I hate that feeling - and as much as possible I'm trying to avoid it.

Only you know how you feel inside - if you just want to get laid then make it a cheap date - wine and a movie.

 

[squirrels]

Well I just talked to her...date's off for tomorrow and tonight she's working, so I guess that gives me some breathing room.

I guess I'll just ask her to do something mid-week next week. And by "something" I probably mean coming over here and getting freaky...that's all I'm really game for with her right now.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Her interest in you seems luke warm right now. Might've been something you did that indirectly changed her interest level from high to moderate. Who knows. I think you know what I mean when I say suddenly "things just seem different" between the two of you. Unless you've got other prospects, just get your nut off on her and find a better quality girl.



PIMP

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Makes sense. You seem to be in what would look like a LTR but your heart isn't in it. So change it. Maybe not dump her, but not be exclusive either. Don't let her assume that the two of you are an item, stop acting like you are.

Take a couple of weeks off from her and meet some more women. Enjoy life and don't let one-itis bring you down if your heart isn't in it.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Makes sense. You seem to be in what would look like a LTR but your heart isn't in it. So change it. Maybe not dump her, but not be exclusive either. Don't let her assume that the two of you are an item, stop acting like you are.

Take a couple of weeks off from her and meet some more women. Enjoy life and don't let one-itis bring you down if your heart isn't in it.

I'm not in an LTR...but after like two or three "dates", I start worrying about getting stuck in one and not even realizing it.

That's why I don't want to do the "day-dates," you know, picnics, mini-golf, etc...I just wanna bang her. And in all truth, that may be what SHE wants too. I'm trying to be careful of subconsciously steering this in the LTR direction.

I don't know if her IL has fallen off. She may have hung up on me twice to talk to her friends, but she called back the next day and apologized, and immediately accepted the date, and she even sounded upset that I cancelled on her. She's always been like that, though...she'll go to the bathroom like 4 or 5 times during a date to talk to her friends on her phone...but she still puts out at the end of the night. LOL

Oh well...I kinda wanna hit "reset" on ALL of my female contacts at this point. Fold and get a stronger hand next time, if you know what I mean.