GF Thinks I Should Walk Her Home After Dates

[Fela Kuti]

How old are you?
How old is she?
Does she live with her mom?
Do you live with your parent(s)?
How late at night is she walking alone?
What is her neighborhood like?

I'm 21, she's 19.
Yeah, she lives with her mom and sister. Dad divorced.
I live with my family.
Walking alone at about 9 PM. Her neighborhood is quite safe. Although one time she was approached by a hobo at night.

 

[Fela Kuti]

Personally I feel that any person who cannot balance their relationship with their family and their boy/girlfriend isn't ready to have external interactions since its apparent that their relationship with their family is extremely influential. It's your call as to how much you're willing to interact with the situation. Whatever you choose your decision should be equally beneficial to the two of you; no one sided concessions.

Well, she decided that we shouldn't meet each other for some time until the situation is clear, because her mom asked her why does she go with me so much? (Her mom knows me as her friend.)

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Well, she decided that we shouldn't meet each other for some time until the situation is clear, because her mom asked her why does she go with me so much? (Her mom knows me as her friend.)

Interesting that she decided. Go out to a few clubs and mingle with some people who are a bit more independent.

 

[comic_relief]

One thing I forgot to mention: her decision isn't affected only by her friends but also her MOTHER. She said that my not walking her home doesn't sit well with her mother. OK, her friends, I can stand up for myself. But her mother? No. She's the #1 person in my GF's life.

Sorry, but I still wouldn't do it if it was an hour.

I have a girlfriend that I walk back and forth across campus, but that is a ten minute walk one way. Usually if I do it, I sleep over at her place too. I sleep over at her place a lot.

comic_relief

 

[PectoralisMajor]

This whole thing smells of BS from her side. She's done the journey home before lots of times solo, why the sudden change of feelings? has she been attacked - NO, has she been threatened - NO.

How about her mum travels the 1 hour to collect her on the bus if she's so concerned?

I do agree that the guy makes sure his girl is safe 100%, dont get me wrong, but what she's proposing is crazy.

How about this for a deal - you walk her to the bus stop, make sure she gets on the bus, and her mum / friend WHO ARE SO CONCERNED collect her at the other side.

My gut instinct is this was a test in some way, or something else was on her mind, and you failed because you didnt manage the issue as a man would. Now she's taking time out from you.

To be honest she's priolly summing up whether the whole 2 return hour bus journey is worth it, I know I would - thats well long....

 

[Monkey]

I'm getting a loss of interest from her and shes trying to come up with a reason to stop seeing you...

When someone is head over heels for you (as it should be), they don't just decide 'we shouldn't meet each other for some time'

 

[Fela Kuti]

The walking her home issue, is actually her way to tell me that I must proof my worth to her mother because her mother disapprove our relationship. She didn't dare to straight up tell me. Until two days ago when she's crying when she confessed that her mother thinks that I'm not the right man for her. She's so confused and don't know what to do. She's tired of her mother asking her what really happens between us. She's tired of lying. So I asked her, "How much is your willingness to continue this relationship, with and without this problem?" She answered, "Without this problem, I'm 100% want to keep our relationship. But with this, I don't know. Maybe 50%. I'm sorry "

What should I do, guys? I'm sure as hell don't wanna breakup just because of her mom.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...What should I do, guys? I'm sure as hell don't wanna breakup just because of her mom.

Sound like you're in a threesome with her and her mom. Yeah, that could be a scary thought couldn't it? Or is her mom your type? Nevermind. The thing about this threesome is that you may not be the one in back. :nervous:

 

[penkitten]

are you driving by her house real fast and pushing her out the car instead?

 

[DoctorLW]

Sounds like you may have to confront her mom directly.

Either your mom will be impressed/relieved by your willingness to talk to her about the relationship with her daughter

OR

You'll find out it's a load of crap, and you'll be better off for it.

 

[Fela Kuti]

Confront her mom directly. Now that's a scary thought. Any tip?

And I don't think it's a load of crap. The mom's overprotective-ness is expected considering that her ex-husband treated her badly.

 

[KontrollerX]

wow, do you really think that the topic of "GF Thinks I Should Walk Her Home After Dates" is worth a breakup?

Aliasguy isn't saying that at all.

He's saying she's making a demand now and if you give in there's only going to be more demands to come some of which are ridiculous and others impossible.

This is how passive aggressive cowards approach their relationships.

An ex girlfriend of mine is a passive aggressive just like yours and she mentioned stuff exactly like this to me and I'd then appease her but the demands list kept on creeping up.

It never stops they just keep seeing what they can take from you and throwing passive tantrums when you don't give in.

Alias is saying that if she's going to get fed up and leave you over not giving in over a small issue like this then she's not worth your time to begin with and you know what?

He's absolutely right.

You know you love her, you've shown her you love her in your own way and if that is not enough for her fvck her.

Let her go after someone else because we all know she is going to when the demands eventually get crazier and even if you meet them being such a passive aggressive coward she will keep other things from your knowledge that she wants you to have done and then use you not doing them as justification for her breaking up with you.

Thats how these cowards get through their day.

They blame everyone for their troubles except the person staring back at them in the mirror.

 

[Fela Kuti]

KontrollerX: the walking her home issue is resolved. I told her to not give in to her friends' opinion. Now the problem is her mom. I've made a thread about it but no reply yet. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=137890

 

[KontrollerX]

Cool.

Though as I said be wary and watchful for more demands from her and more side stepping of telling you exactly whats on her mind with subtle evasions.

 

[aliasguy]

Aliasguy isn't saying that at all.

He's saying she's making a demand now and if you give in there's only going to be more demands to come some of which are ridiculous and others impossible.

This is how passive aggressive cowards approach their relationships.

An ex girlfriend of mine is a passive aggressive just like yours and she mentioned stuff exactly like this to me and I'd then appease her but the demands list kept on creeping up.

It never stops they just keep seeing what they can take from you and throwing passive tantrums when you don't give in.

Alias is saying that if she's going to get fed up and leave you over not giving in over a small issue like this then she's not worth your time to begin with and you know what?

He's absolutely right.

You know you love her, you've shown her you love her in your own way and if that is not enough for her fvck her.

Let her go after someone else because we all know she is going to when the demands eventually get crazier and even if you meet them being such a passive aggressive coward she will keep other things from your knowledge that she wants you to have done and then use you not doing them as justification for her breaking up with you.

Thats how these cowards get through their day.

They blame everyone for their troubles except the person staring back at them in the mirror.

Yeah, that's exactly what I meant. Thanks Kontroller, for making it clearer.

Best of luck with all this, Fela Kuti. Be "watchful," as the K recommends.

 

[Supremo]

Walk her home.
Damn how hard can it be? Not like you doing that is lowering your status as a man for doing that.