eggnawgkid
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2005
- Messages
- 132
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 37
Cliffnotes: Last paragraph, but please read it all to see where I'm coming from. I apologize in advance for the length.
Yea so I've got a strange little situation going on here. I've been going out with my girl for 3 months and today we were having a little talk because I could tell that something was wrong. She said that we're more like friends than bf/gf because we don't act like it. I'm thinking great, so I'm about to be LJBF'd. She asks me if we would still be friends if we broke up and I said no because I thought that if I said yes then she'd be dumping me right there.
Anyway we didn't break up, but she wouldn't tell me how we weren't acting like bf/gf even though I asked her several times. Finally she just exploded and she's said it's because I never call her, I don't put her in front of my friends while she has to put me in front of hers, and she's always the one that asks me if I want to hang out. That definitely took me by surprise because we talk on the phone almost daily and who does the calling is pretty evenly split, I very rarely put my friends in front of her (because they don't really do much), and yea I'll give her the last one (whenever I plan on asking her to hang out she always asks me before I get a chance).
Oh yea and I also forgot a big part of her problem. She thinks that I don't take our relationship seriously. That's true to some extent because I don't take many things in life too seriously. I just don't see the point in it, you might as well have fun while you're alive. But I still have a 3.8 GPA and a part-time job so it's not like I just goof around all the time, I just don't take things more seriously than they need to be. Anyway, I do take our relationship seriously, it's just that she likes me more than she thinks I like her, so I don't stress out about it while she does.
This is my first girlfriend/relationship and she's had several, although none of them have lasted for more than a month. So she's more experienced than me and thinks that I'm acting more like a friend than a boyfriend. Well I've never been a bf before and although I thought I knew how boyfriends and girlfriends usually act toward each other, it seems that I don't. So let me just tell you how things go between us:
At school we talk in class and sit together at lunch. I walk her to her classes and we usually hug when we leave each other. Often she'll give me a peck on the cheek with the hug as well, she doesn't like kissing in front of people, which is a nice transition to my recognized weakness. Since this is my first gf, she was also the first one I kissed and I think one of the big problems is that I'm still not comfortable with kissing. Just in the last week or two have we started kissing consistently when we leave each other because I hadn't been able to grab my balls and kiss her before that. But we're having a kissing session this weekend where she's going to teach me how to kiss better because I'm still not confident enough about it. I'm looking forward to that one
.
Ok anyway I open doors and car doors for her all the time and we always hold hands and have good kino. Now I'm probably sounding AFC so let me assure you that I am not. I tease her all the time and I'm always making her laugh and I don't get all emotional and sh!t. Which is another part of the problem because she says she never knows what I'm thinking and that our conversations are stupid and meaningless. What kind of things SHOULD you talk about with your girlfriend? Anyway she says that all these things should come naturally but says that they aren't which makes it weird. She won't tell me specific things to do to be more like a friend than a boyfriend because she is convinced that I can't change my ways. But I can, so that's why I need you DJ's to help me.
I told her that If I call her everyday like she thinks bf/gf should then we're going to get sick of each other, but still thinks a bf HAS TO call his gf everyday. That's totally against everything I've read on this site so I'm reluctant to start that up, but I have a bad feeling that if I don't then our relationship is gone in her eyes. She wants me to tell her what I'm thinking, thereby being emotional and from what I've read, DJ's should be unmoved and not emotional like women (I could be wrong about this point). Also with the whole her liking me more than I like her thing, that's supposedly good for a DJ too because then the guy is in control and doesn't have to take the relationship as seriously.
Basically, this is what I'm getting at: It seems to me that my DJ mindset (although I'm definitely no DJ yet) has caused my girlfriend to view me more as a friend than a boyfriend. Help me out here and tell me how to act like a boyfriend in her eyes without becoming AFCish. Oh yea I should mention that we're still together and she says she's good with where we're at but I know that she's not. Thanks to those that actually read that all. Just think how much longer it took me to write it.
Yea so I've got a strange little situation going on here. I've been going out with my girl for 3 months and today we were having a little talk because I could tell that something was wrong. She said that we're more like friends than bf/gf because we don't act like it. I'm thinking great, so I'm about to be LJBF'd. She asks me if we would still be friends if we broke up and I said no because I thought that if I said yes then she'd be dumping me right there.
Anyway we didn't break up, but she wouldn't tell me how we weren't acting like bf/gf even though I asked her several times. Finally she just exploded and she's said it's because I never call her, I don't put her in front of my friends while she has to put me in front of hers, and she's always the one that asks me if I want to hang out. That definitely took me by surprise because we talk on the phone almost daily and who does the calling is pretty evenly split, I very rarely put my friends in front of her (because they don't really do much), and yea I'll give her the last one (whenever I plan on asking her to hang out she always asks me before I get a chance).
Oh yea and I also forgot a big part of her problem. She thinks that I don't take our relationship seriously. That's true to some extent because I don't take many things in life too seriously. I just don't see the point in it, you might as well have fun while you're alive. But I still have a 3.8 GPA and a part-time job so it's not like I just goof around all the time, I just don't take things more seriously than they need to be. Anyway, I do take our relationship seriously, it's just that she likes me more than she thinks I like her, so I don't stress out about it while she does.
This is my first girlfriend/relationship and she's had several, although none of them have lasted for more than a month. So she's more experienced than me and thinks that I'm acting more like a friend than a boyfriend. Well I've never been a bf before and although I thought I knew how boyfriends and girlfriends usually act toward each other, it seems that I don't. So let me just tell you how things go between us:
At school we talk in class and sit together at lunch. I walk her to her classes and we usually hug when we leave each other. Often she'll give me a peck on the cheek with the hug as well, she doesn't like kissing in front of people, which is a nice transition to my recognized weakness. Since this is my first gf, she was also the first one I kissed and I think one of the big problems is that I'm still not comfortable with kissing. Just in the last week or two have we started kissing consistently when we leave each other because I hadn't been able to grab my balls and kiss her before that. But we're having a kissing session this weekend where she's going to teach me how to kiss better because I'm still not confident enough about it. I'm looking forward to that one
. Ok anyway I open doors and car doors for her all the time and we always hold hands and have good kino. Now I'm probably sounding AFC so let me assure you that I am not. I tease her all the time and I'm always making her laugh and I don't get all emotional and sh!t. Which is another part of the problem because she says she never knows what I'm thinking and that our conversations are stupid and meaningless. What kind of things SHOULD you talk about with your girlfriend? Anyway she says that all these things should come naturally but says that they aren't which makes it weird. She won't tell me specific things to do to be more like a friend than a boyfriend because she is convinced that I can't change my ways. But I can, so that's why I need you DJ's to help me.
I told her that If I call her everyday like she thinks bf/gf should then we're going to get sick of each other, but still thinks a bf HAS TO call his gf everyday. That's totally against everything I've read on this site so I'm reluctant to start that up, but I have a bad feeling that if I don't then our relationship is gone in her eyes. She wants me to tell her what I'm thinking, thereby being emotional and from what I've read, DJ's should be unmoved and not emotional like women (I could be wrong about this point). Also with the whole her liking me more than I like her thing, that's supposedly good for a DJ too because then the guy is in control and doesn't have to take the relationship as seriously.
Basically, this is what I'm getting at: It seems to me that my DJ mindset (although I'm definitely no DJ yet) has caused my girlfriend to view me more as a friend than a boyfriend. Help me out here and tell me how to act like a boyfriend in her eyes without becoming AFCish. Oh yea I should mention that we're still together and she says she's good with where we're at but I know that she's not. Thanks to those that actually read that all. Just think how much longer it took me to write it.