GF is a heavy drinker...

[illmatic1005]

oh hi..

a lot of times, my girlfriend goes to parties and/or social gatherings and drinks a lot. When she drinks, she gets very flirty and crazy and does all types of crazy stuff ( like dances by herself, sings, and jumps around).

I, on the other hand, dont drink a lot, if any at all. I dont mind drinking, i just never feel like doing it..but i dont want my GF thinking im a party pooper and just plain boring either...what should i do?

also, most of the time when she drinks, i am there but many times i am not. I trust her but always wonder about what she does. A little while ago, she called me from a party and said she drank a lot and that she just wanted to tell me she loves me.

how would u guys handle this situation?

 

[Rhoto]

How old is she?

And never trust a drunk girl, if she called you to say she loved you, she probably was just "loving" some one else.

I'd leave.

 

[illmatic1005]

she just turned 20...she just started drinking last year too

when she callled her exact words were "HEYYYY this is your girlfriend and [haha laughing with friends]..i am really drunk right now but i just want to tell you i love you..[then some gibbersih]..haha i dont kno what i am saying..but i really do love you sooo much (she said that very seriously)..cant wait to see your tomorrow. love ya. bye"

 

[duke007]

That's terrible advice Rhoto...

The fact that you assume a drunk girlfriend will be "loving" someone else shows an insecurity.

I think alcohol is more of a truth serum...your inhibitions are lowered...and you say what you truly believe. That's why drunk dialling/texting exists. Ever felt the urge to call a oneitis when hammered??

Sounds like she's really into you man.

And don't feel obligated to dance/act crazy with her. As long as you don't criticise her for this behaviour, she'll see you as the cool guy sitting back confident in his own skin. The needy guy will try to follow her lead by matching her personality and not being himself - don't fall into this trap.

 

[illmatic1005]

That's terrible advice Rhoto...

The fact that you assume a drunk girlfriend will be "loving" someone else shows an insecurity.
felt the urge to call a oneitis when hammered??

I think alcohol is more of a truth serum...your inhibitions are lowered...and you say what you truly believe. That's why drunk dialling/texting exists. Ever
Sounds like she's really into you man.

And don't feel obligated to dance/act crazy with her. As long as you don't criticise her for this behaviour, she'll see you as the cool guy sitting back confident in his own skin. The needy guy will try to follow her lead by matching her personality and not being himself - don't fall into this trap.

DUKE!..thats exactly what i wanted to hear..ive been doing just that.letting her have fun and trusting her...but what do u mean when u say dont follow her lead...when she dances by herself i go up and grab her hand and start danncing with her and she loves it...she offers some sips of beer to, which i take..sometimes just so i dont seem like im a party pooper

 

[AFC Savior]

your thread history cracks me up

you are dating a party girl AND taking her seriously? thats stupid

have other girls on the side and stop bytching

 

[duke007]

What I mean is, don't do something JUST because you think that's what she wants or that's how you SHOULD behave.

Mix it up! Sure, go up and take her hand and dance with her sometimes, but not ALWAYS, because in time it will start to seem forced and submissive.

Other times just sit back and watch like a pimp, as if she is your viewing entertainment. You can also ignore her, while you chat to your buddies. And don't hesitate to stand up and dance by YOUR self, and get her to come up and join you.

And don't feel like you need to sip the beer to make her happy. Have some if you want, but there is no shame in telling her the alcohol is not your thing and you can have fun without it...

 

[Quick]

DUKE!..thats exactly what i wanted to hear..ive been doing just that.letting her have fun and trusting her...but what do u mean when u say dont follow her lead...when she dances by herself i go up and grab her hand and start danncing with her and she loves it...she offers some sips of beer to, which i take..sometimes just so i dont seem like im a party pooper

Duke is right on. You shouldn't be drinking beer and dancing just so that you don't seem like a party pooper. If it's what you want to do, that's fine, but don't do it just to please her and seem like someone you're not. That is "needy" behavior. It shows you feel like you need to impress her, and this will show up in other ways. Like you, i rarely drink, but when i date girls they always drink less than normal in an attempt to impress me. If you want to feel in control of your relationships, that's the way it should be.

Truthfully, it's not a good idea to put all your eggs into a party girl's basket. A 20 year old who gets drunk all the time is not a finished product. You can't make long term plans including her, because she can't even make long term plans for herself. If you're truly having fun even when partying with her, than keep on with it. But if you're simply tolerating her partying and drinking because you think you'll be with her long term, you're making a mistake.

 

[DJDamage]

That's terrible advice Rhoto..

Actually Rhoto is not that far from the truth.

The girl is 20 year old, a really bad age for LTR.

This is the age where you are still experiementing, pushing the boundries and do alot of stupid things. If this girl heavily filrts with men when she is drunk and blames the alcohol and getting away with it, then why not get drunk and have a guy fvck you and blame the alcohol too?! I have seen it happen way too many times. Using alcohol as an excuse to do what you wanted to do but never had the guts is the oldest excuse in the book.

Just because a woman gets drunk does not make it ok.

 

[JLW]

I used to date a girl who used to have a lot of male friends.

It really bothered me when she would hang out with male friends even though they weren't as cool as me in many ways.

So I stopped dating her. You could always do the same thing.

Seems simple to me.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

She was that way before you met her and you still decided to date her so you can tell her how you feel in the hopes that she begins to control herself, you can grin and bear it or cut bait and walk away; your choice.

 

[Rhoto]

That's terrible advice Rhoto...

The fact that you assume a drunk girlfriend will be "loving" someone else shows an insecurity.

I think alcohol is more of a truth serum...your inhibitions are lowered...and you say what you truly believe. That's why drunk dialling/texting exists. Ever felt the urge to call a oneitis when hammered??

Uh huh.

Don't come crying if/when she cheats on you man.

You make it sound like shes getting hammered, and getting hammered every weekend is a sure fire way to have another guy tickle the cooch.