"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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GF Cruise Control

MOTU

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It seems to really easy for me to get on cruise control toward GFville.

So the teacher/cheer coach that has been the subject of this thread and this thread have continued to see and fvck each other. Our next date after the one in the "just got me laid" thread was actaully a weekday date (not the week right after we fvcked.. the following week) where I told her on Sunday "I want to go hiking Tuesday, play hooky from work with me and let's go to the state park" and she did and we did and then went to her place and banged. We have gotten together a couple other times since then, banged each time.

She spent the night at my house Saturday night. I had a big party and she came and brought food and helped with making drinks. We had fun. My drunk @ss fvcked her when we went to bed and she slept curled up against me and woke me up with a bj. Nice.

She is fun and doesn't annoy me. She is good in bed. She has an ok face and a hot body. She doesn't over text me and we don't talk on the phone at all. She is very affectionate, which I like. She has good job and her own place, one grown son. She likes me. A lot, I think.

And so it seems I am on cruise control to having a girlfriend. But I am not sure if that is a good thing or not?

I guess I am kind of lazy in that I am getting what I want out of her (sex, an activity partner, etc) so it would be easy and convenient to have her as a GF. I have been actively dating and it's a lot of work.

But I don't feel swept off my feet or anything. And I think what I really want is a mid-30's mexican waitress; I have a thing for the latinas (coach is white). I was learning to Salsa dance but I have stopped because I am busy and did I mention I am getting laid pretty regularly??? But I am quite certain that if I allow it, at some point, this woman is going to want to be exclusive with me. And that will be easy to say yes to.

Anyone else deal with this kind of thing?

(edited to fix links)
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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dasein

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Yes. Sounds pretty good actually, and the not knocking you off your feet thing could be partially due to your experience level in life and partially due to it being so comfortable. The ones who "knock me off my feet" tend to be crazy IME.

Is there pressure towards exclusivity coming from somewhere? Why does this have to be an issue right now? Just steer from relationship talk and keep things light and flirty, sounds like things are going very well. Keep the time spent together toned down, no or few "all weekend-24 hour date" deals and keep options open. Good luck.
 

MOTU

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dasein said:
Is there pressure towards exclusivity coming from somewhere? Why does this have to be an issue right now? Just steer from relationship talk and keep things light and flirty, sounds like things are going very well. Keep the time spent together toned down, no or few "all weekend-24 hour date" deals and keep options open. Good luck.
You are right, this isn't an issue right now at all. I do tend to over-think things. I just see that I seem to be on that path and I am not sure I am any good at keeping it under control. Not out of neediness, out of laziness or something.

Thanks for the input.
 
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