"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Getting the number versus insta-date

Sir Shinra

Don Juan
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Seoul, Korea
So yesterday was my last night in Tokyo and my Japanese friend and I went to Tokyo tower since I mentioned I wanted to see it before I leave. We were just going for novelty's sake and were actually pretty bored. We're in the observation area and I notice a pair of attractive young women speaking English two feet away from me. Green flag. It was easy to start with a situational opener: "so how do you like the view?" which led to an easy conversation, especially since one of the girls was actually Korean and lives in Seoul, not far from my neighborhood. I invite my friend into the conversation (he's good-looking but quite shy and AFC, so I have to make the executive decisions concerning the females I just set us up with).

We walk around the deck for five minutes and I present them with my 'camera dillemma,' meaning my camera is broken and I need them to take our photo and email it to me (this was no lie. My camera really was broken)
which they did, and right afterwards I got the bright idea to ask a couple standing near us to take a photo of all four of us... a good way to establish rapport, right?

Here's where I ****ed up. I asked the girls where they were going next and they said they didn't know. This may have been an oppurtunity for an insta-date, but I thought since I only had modest raport, and the girl I wanted (the Korean one) seemed only modestly interested (she actually negged me a couple times, jokingly) , instead of asking them to join us, I decided to play it safe and wait for her email, so that I could set up a date when we got back to Korea. After the couple took our photo I decided to end the interaction on a good note (because the man is always supposed to end the interaction before she does, right?) and bid them farewell.

Five minutes later, my friend and I are standing in line to go to the observation deck. I already start regretting my decision. I went to the bathroom, and when I come back my friend tells me one of the girls came back asking where I was (of course, he let her go). At this point, I verbalize that I had just made an incredulously stupid decision. My friend agrees. I made a lap around the observation deck to find the girls, but they were gone. Eventually we procede to the top deck for an extra 8 bucks that I didn't really want to pay. I just wanted an excuse to end my interaction with the girls. WTF was wrong with me? I spent the next half hour regretting the decision, too distracted to enjoy the view.

It was a nice man-date though. We eventually ran into a loopy Australian tourist who likes videogames too much, and some old Japanese salarymen bought us some sake. Woohoo.

I guess this long story was kinda unnecessary, so I'll get to the point. How do I know when to try for an insta-date instead of just going for the number? Which requires more rapport? Can I try for the number if she refuses the insta-date?

(Yes, I realize that leaving the ball in the girls' court was a mistake, but I couldn't think of any logical excuse to ask for her contact information since I had already given her mine. I guess the 'duh' response is that I don't need an excuse, right?)

By the way, the girl has yet to send me an email. I tried the same 'broken camera' trick on a girl the day before. I've yet to get an email from her either. Not-so-ironically, the elderly couple I asked to take my photo emailed them to me the very same day.:D
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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rushing dude 123

Master Don Juan
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right first things first, if u want to take one of these chicks out just ask for the number or go for the instant date. U can't trick girls into liking u, has in get her to email u for picture, do alpha men do that? no. If u want to get that girl just go for it no need to ***** foot around.

instant date vs phone number:

instant date u will get a better chance of getting to know her, so less chance she will flake when u call her or phone number less chance of her blowing u out, quite intimidating for guy to ask u out straight away sometimes and she might have something already to do. This is basically
like:

direct game vs indirect:

The similarities is that direct/instant is harder to get at the start, but makes the job a lot easier at the end, vice versia for indirect/ phone number.

In my opinion do which ever one u feel like, maybe ur going to see a kool movie or maybe ur going to a firework show, ask her to come along say she seems funs and it should b a blast....literally. Or maybe ur busy and got other stuff to do so just number close, if she denies first instant date then just number close has well. Simple. I think things r how they r man, we over analyse them to much, stop thinking about her, think about what u like to do and if she can't do that then just offer alternative (number?), if no go, i'm going to probs say shes not interested, then next.

btw congrats on getting so far in DJBC
 

Sir Shinra

Don Juan
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Seoul, Korea
Right, I should have went for the insta-date since that's what I wanted. It seems so much simpler that way, right?

I am thinking too much. Whenever I try to think of a 'plan' or 'strategy' to get a girl it has never worked. Not once. Ever. Case in point: Tonight. Right now I am staying with a host family. Their daughter is 2 years older than me, talented musician and composer, and a very deep conversationalist, HB9. Last time (four days ago) I felt a great vibe, there was lots of smiling and eye contact, I was kino-ing her a good bit too. The problem was, I just couldn't get her alone. Now I know I have been trying too hard and it shows. She lost interest in what seemed like 30 seconds, and just said 'good night' and went into the bedroom before I could say anything. I'm departing tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure she won't bother saying bye to me before she leaves for work, despite the fact that I won't be back for a long, long time.

Amazing how they go just as quickly as they come. I have put too much emphasis on preventing them from going. Instead, I should focus on making them come faster. (lol)
 

Tha Realnezz

Master Don Juan
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I dont mess with the ****close or dateclose cuz its too risky and it might turn her off altogether.

..unless she's just completey for it and it shows.Like just blushing,non stop smiling,touching and sex talk is the only real indicator.

I just get the number and rollout and dissapear for a couple days-maybe weeks depending on her looks,then call and setup the date..

Thats why you absolutley must have more than one woman on deck.Play it cool homie,always and you'll never be without.
 

pua1989

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 14, 2006
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instadate is the best.

lats girls i pulled me anad myb uddy were pickin up some bud, and then we see these two cute girls come out of a house (its a college town everyone is our age). we say "hey, you girls need a ride?" (obviously with a tone of voice that says we are interested) and they giggle and are like "yeah...to sacramento" (which is like 5 hours away) and we are like "sure hop in" and they laugh and are like "well we are getting some lunch right now" and we said "let us get some lunch with you" they said "ok follow us" followed em downtown, ate lunch on the instadate, got numbers ended up hookin up a few weeks later

funny thing was i was all drawn all over from the night before cuzi blacked out hahaha
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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