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Getting some self-esteem and courage

toyota861

Don Juan
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Hi,

I am 16 years old and a junior in high school.
The problem I have is my self-esteem and im very shy around girls. I am never shy when it comes to talkin with guys and my friends and other people I dont know. The problem lies when I try to talk to a girl.
For some reason in the mornings my self-esteem is very good.
I get up in the morning get all ready for school feeling really good.
In class I usually talk with a few girls around me very easily.
However, by the time I get back from lunch usually about 11:30 my self-esteem has slowed way down and I am back to begin shy again.

I am a good looking guy some girls have even commented by calling me hott and cute. I also drive to school and I know girls like a guy that has a car. I dont know if that is good though.

I always catch girls looking at me but then quickly looking away.
I know by reading the DJ bible that this is a good sign.
I should go over and talk to them.
But I just never get the courage to do it.
I worry that they wont like me, or they already have a bf, or i wont know what to say to them.
I always end up saying to myself Ill do it the next day and it never happens.
I really want a gf b4 I turn 17, I will turn it on April 29th.
Do any of you know any ways I could build my self-esteem and courage? Is there some kinda legal herb or vitamin that I could take that would keep my self-esteem and nervousness around girls to a minimum?
Also, is it ok for a junior to date a freshman?

Thanks
 

Poddy

Don Juan
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Dont worry about herbs and so forth. the power is within you - you just have to find it. Treat them as if they were your bratty little sister. Now im not saying disrespect women. But for the moment to be able to speak to them without quivering think as if theyre lower than you. Then as you get used to it forget all about the bratty little sister bit.
 

Mack Of All Trades

Master Don Juan
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Do any of you know any ways I could build my self-esteem and courage? Is there some kinda legal herb or vitamin that I could take that would keep my self-esteem and nervousness around girls to a minimum?

There is no such thing as a magic pill for selfconfidence. Only hard work will do the trick.
 

Maurizio

Don Juan
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It's kind of a rediculous reason to use them, but caffiene (and it's brother guarana) and other stimulants might make you feel less nervous in small doses -- but more nervous in large ones as they will cause your heart rate to increase, and your brain will get the impression then, that you are nervous. You could also take a look at "anti-depressants" such as St. Johns Wort and other crap like that.

I don't really recommend any of this stuff for your purpose... but do what you will.

- Maurizio
 

-Boogerman-

Don Juan
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Going to school drunk is an easy way to get SC. ;)

No but seriously, it seems that your confidence is undermined by your negative visualizations. By that I mean you imagine the worst possible scenario. Remeber what pook said? "As you think you shall become" If you belive so much that they wont like you, then you will send of vibes so they do not like you.

Girls give you hints and stuff, no one never flirt with me because I am so ugly. I approach girls who would normally not give me a chance. Man, I would be in heaven if girls gave me that kind of attention. I cannot help you with anything, it is time for some ballgrabbing!

Remember,

girls who do not like you lacks taste, girls with boyfriends havn't met you yet and girls you don't know what to say to, are as clueless as you. The only thing you can always gain from an approach is the invaluable experience.
 

UnexpectedTeen

Don Juan
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1)I always catch girls looking at me but then quickly looking away.

I thought eye contact is very important? If gals r looking at u, that;s good. If u stare at them like a werewolf. that;s bad

2)I know by reading the DJ bible that this is a good sign.

Reading is not good enough, u must apply

3)I should go over and talk to them.
But I just never get the courage to do it.

Lame


4)I worry that they wont like me, or they already have a bf, or i wont know what to say to them.

chill! so wat if they have bf(s) u can always kill them (kiddin) you'd never know her younger avalible sis just might turn up suddenly, whala, instant introduction

Chicks normally have alot of friends, i will not rule out that some of them are not-attached hotties

5)I always end up saying to myself Ill do it the next day and it never happens.

Set a daily goal then. like "today, i will talk to at least 2 gals that i dont know"

6)I really want a gf b4 I turn 17, I will turn it on April 29th.

you're not gonna die of virgin if you dont get a gf before u get 17 period.

7)Do any of you know any ways I could build my self-esteem and courage? Is there some kinda legal herb or vitamin that I could take that would keep my self-esteem and nervousness around girls to a minimum?

Practice, Practice, Practice; NO

8)Also, is it ok for a junior to date a freshman?

Okey if you know the works

:)
 

payaya

Senior Don Juan
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i was like that when young, but when got older, just i dunno is went away. Im 20 now, very confident, dont lack self esteem, just get out more, meet new people. Talk to more girls, get female friends, i noticed this helps heaps.
 

toyota861

Don Juan
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Thanks everyone

Hi,

I want to thank all of you for giving very valuble tips on this situation.
There is this girl I am really attracted to and when I enter the classroom she is usually in there by herself sitting there at her desk. Im pretty sure she has no bf but not positive.
I see how when I walk in the she looks up then quickly away.
what is a good way to make a convo with her.
I only have about 5-6 mins till the classroom fills up and I have to sit all the way in the back (she sits in the front).
Should I ask her something like "Are we supposed to get our books?"
Or just smile and walk on by?

Thanks.
 

Hot Ice

Master Don Juan
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Re: Thanks everyone

Originally posted by toyota861

Should I ask her something like "Are we supposed to get our books?"
Or just smile and walk on by?

Don't hesitate so much. "Are we supposed to get our books?" is good but what if she answers??? :confused:
She is going propably answer somthing like "Yes" OR "No".
What do you say then?
It can be end of conversation that time...
Propably the better way would be to just say something funny with straight face but pleasant tone of voice and just walk by. Use your great sense of humour and make a joke about situation, teacher or you can even try a little neg-hit(u've read the bible right?) about 'her habit to come to the class 5 MINUTES before lesson begins' with a smile on your face.

If you want a little convo, you could say something when you leave the class. It'll be better to ask an open-ended (so she could not say just 'yes' or 'no' and you could start a convo based on her answer) question with a little humour in it. Ask about lesson, teacher other students.. ANYTHING.

Just gave few tips. Rest is up to you. Go and get it!
 

Roots

Don Juan
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You want some confidence? I suggest you take up smoking. It might give you confidence, it might not. Hell I think it worked for me. Thats not why I started though... I dunno give it a try. Its bad for you though.
 
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