Getting rid of my "entitlement mentality"

[Vice]

So in my latest musings, I've discovered that I have a slight "entitlement mentality".

I'll walk by a girl in the library and think "Why the f*ck doesn't that girl look up/smile at me?".

Or, "Girls SHOULD respond to my mack".

"Girls SHOULD agree to go salsa dancing with me."

"I have my own buisiness; girls SHOULD like that about me."

"I'm well dressed and fit; girls SHOULD be checking me out".

I have all of these "shoulds", and I get upset if I don't get the reaction I was expecting.

(I just realized while writing the above sentence that I'm also REACTION SEEKING. Awesome realization.)

So tell me, how have you guys gotten over this toxic mindset? I'm happy that I'm aware of it now. I want to get over it, and also not be judgemental when I see other people do it too, because I KNOW that I will start unfairly judging people when I see it.

 

[Strelok]

Television and media alter people perception of reality,when you see on tv that every guy get smiles and good reactions from women your brain is fooled into thinking that that is the default interaction.

This is probably the same sourche of fat women entitlement,especially after trash like sex and the city or the new flood of romantic comedies got a big share of the tv programming.
We're human and we are influenced from what we see,just remember how communist propaganda fooled millions of people till few decades ago.

 

[Warrior74]

I don't have a sense of entitlement because I really don't have anything to feel entitled about. My business is small, my belly is too big, my clothes are old and my game is rusty and weak. So ya, trade problems with ya?

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

We're human and we are influenced from what we see,just remember how communist propaganda fooled millions of people till few decades ago.

Don't look now, but it never stopped. The rubber rationale that attempts to scaffold entitlement and emotional indulgence will never leave us. You must kill any sense of entitlement from your character, because it is just an impotent longing for the unearned.

You kill the entitlement mentality by knowing, in your heart of hearts, that you and only you are responsible for every condition of your life. Maturity and strength lie in the somber acceptance of this responsibility, and to bear the discipline it requires.

What else is self-confidence, than self-esteem? And what else is self-esteem than self-reliance?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

So tell me, how have you guys gotten over this toxic mindset? I'm happy that I'm aware of it now. I want to get over it, and also not be judgemental when I see other people do it too, because I KNOW that I will start unfairly judging people when I see it.

Check out this site (be warned: a little new agey, touchy-feely). Plenty of free stuff/exercises/vids to help you get rid of the "shoulds". Handy little exercises that you can do a few times daily to kill your entitlement mindset. Be consistent with it, and you'll slowly get over it.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

My God, I taste puke in my mouth.

But not from anything I have read here.

The History Channel is running a show on the "history of greed". They are depicting John Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie, and Henry Ford as greedy monsters. I mean they have devils horns and commentary from that smarmy little faggot, Robert Reich. I'll tell you who the monsters are-the rotters who believe this filth. These men achieved their fortunes as a direct reflection of the extent to which they furthered humanity. These men built the society we live in. Rockefeller built the oil delivery infrastructure, Carnegie made possible the astronomical amounts of engineered steel that were required to build a civilization, and Ford gave us the cars and trucks that make our lives possible. Do you not count yourself fortunate to live in the time of their creations? Would you rather live in the rotting mystical dark ages, before man harnessed the power of science and rational free trade as a means to drag himself out of a cave?

Evil is the wolf in sheep's clothing, which calls itself altruism, and contends through arbitrary social edicts that individuals acting in their own rational self-interest are evil. It also tells us that all men are equal, and any one who has more than another can only have done so by stealing from others. In truth, it is only the rights of men that can be equal. We must hold as sacred the right of the individual to live to the extent of his own ability, and that his only moral "entitlement" is the ability to keep everything he is able to earn in legitimate free trade among his fellow man.

Money is not evil; it is only a tool. The desire for unearned money is the root of all evil, therefore true capitalists are the most righteous men on earth. Those who believe that all men should have the same amount of money, regardless of effort and ability, are the most vile and stinking rotters among us.

****, now they're starting on the Freemasons...

 

[sstype]

My God, I taste puke in my mouth.

But not from anything I have read here.

The History Channel is running a show on the "history of greed". They are depicting John Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie, and Henry Ford as greedy monsters. I mean they have devils horns and commentary from that smarmy little faggot, Robert Reich. I'll tell you who the monsters are-the rotters who believe this filth. These men achieved their fortunes as a direct reflection of the extent to which they furthered humanity. These men built the society we live in. Rockefeller built the oil delivery infrastructure, Carnegie made possible the astronomical amounts of engineered steel that were required to build a civilization, and Ford gave us the cars and trucks that make our lives possible. Do you not count yourself fortunate to live in the time of their creations? Would you rather live in the rotting mystical dark ages, before man harnessed the power of science and rational free trade as a means to drag himself out of a cave?

Evil is the wolf in sheep's clothing, which calls itself altruism, and contends through arbitrary social edicts that individuals acting in their own rational self-interest are evil. It also tells us that all men are equal, and any one who has more than another can only have done so by stealing from others. In truth, it is only the rights of men that can be equal. We must hold as sacred the right of the individual to live to the extent of his own ability, and that his only moral "entitlement" is the ability to keep everything he is able to earn in legitimate free trade among his fellow man.

Money is not evil; it is only a tool. The desire for unearned money is the root of all evil, therefore true capitalists are the most righteous men on earth. Those who believe that all men should have the same amount of money, regardless of effort and ability, are the most vile and stinking rotters among us.

****, now they're starting on the Freemasons...

Sometimes capitalists benefit when resources are pooled together (i.e. taxation) to create the infrastructure necessary to facilitate wealth creation.

The construction of the interstate highway system by Eisenhower (one of the few fiscally conservative Republicans) allowed private developers to build suburban America and gave millions of entrepreneurs the opportunity to open their own business outside urban centers.

The Internet riginally started off as DARPAnet, developed by the Defense Department. Another example of an idea which revolutionized our world which did not require a profit-motive.

Not to discount your examples Julius, but wealth creation and responsible use of pooled resources go hand-in-hand.

I hate welfare leeches just as much as you, but do you consider hedge fund managers who made millions using borrowed money to create asset bubbles which nearly collapsed the world economy and needed a taxpayer funded bailout, "true capitalists?"

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

No, they should not have been bailed out. It is not the place of the government to pick winners and losers, true capitalism would purge the losers.

But your indictment of hedge funds for creating asset bubbles is false. A cursory glance at the history of economics will reveal that every bubble has occured as a result of government intervention in free markets. The real estate bubble was entirely a product of the government underwriting bad loans, that never would have been made were the banks not staring down the barrel of Uncle Sam. My cousin and another friend of the family are both Presidents of small regional banks. They both stayed out of the government loan programs, they only made sound loans, and they have just sailed through this recession.

The burgeoning imperial government made doing business here a nightmare, essentially exporting the middle class jobs, then they forced the banks to make loans to increasingly underemployed people. The real blame for all of this lies squarely upon government intervention.

Not to hijack dude's thread or anything

 

[Alle_Gory]

The burgeoning imperial government made doing business here a nightmare, essentially exporting the middle class jobs, then they forced the banks to make loans to increasingly underemployed people. The real blame for all of this lies squarely upon government intervention.

I fail to see how the government can be blamed for outsourcing. They simply opened up the borders for cheaper international trade, and most short sighted businesses chased the cheapest labor and materials possible in China.

And I mean short sighted because this cheap goods bubble is going to burst as China has more power and they've begun raising prices.

 

[sstype]

So in my latest musings, I've discovered that I have a slight "entitlement mentality".

I'll walk by a girl in the library and think "Why the f*ck doesn't that girl look up/smile at me?".

Or, "Girls SHOULD respond to my mack".

"Girls SHOULD agree to go salsa dancing with me."

"I have my own buisiness; girls SHOULD like that about me."

"I'm well dressed and fit; girls SHOULD be checking me out".

I have all of these "shoulds", and I get upset if I don't get the reaction I was expecting.

(I just realized while writing the above sentence that I'm also REACTION SEEKING. Awesome realization.)

So tell me, how have you guys gotten over this toxic mindset? I'm happy that I'm aware of it now. I want to get over it, and also not be judgemental when I see other people do it too, because I KNOW that I will start unfairly judging people when I see it.

Sorry for hijacking the thread OP....

I completely understand where you're coming from. I used to feel like because I was ahead of the curve compared to most guys, women should be throwing themselves at me.

Not a good mindset to have, cause instead of being a fun cool guy to hang around with you become negative and bitter. No one with any ounce of self-worth wants to be around that, no matter how handsome and loaded you are.

Also as a guy, keep your achievements and success in perspective. Thats awesome if you have a fit body and 60k a year job at age 25, but unless you fall into some sort of outlier, like having a male stripper's body, or being a multimillionaire, don't expect the majority of attractive women to be wow'ed by achievements that are viewed by them as simple prerequisites. You still need game to seal the deal. Either be an outlier or work on your game

 

[sstype]

No, they should not have been bailed out. It is not the place of the government to pick winners and losers, true capitalism would purge the losers.

We haven't had true capitalism since the inception of the Federal Reserve.
Our economy has more or less been managed by the Fed's monetary policies.

But your indictment of hedge funds for creating asset bubbles is false. A cursory glance at the history of economics will reveal that every bubble has occured as a result of government intervention in free markets. The real estate bubble was entirely a product of the government underwriting bad loans, that never would have been made were the banks not staring down the barrel of Uncle Sam. My cousin and another friend of the family are both Presidents of small regional banks. They both stayed out of the government loan programs, they only made sound loans, and they have just sailed through this recession.

Classic "Blame the Poor" Myth.

The majority of subprime loans were made by non-CRA covered financial institutions (CRA loans were only 6% of the subprime market).
If government was to blame, it was its Wall St. friendly policies that were largely responsible for the housing bubble and subsequent collapse. Repeal of Glass-Steagal (encouraged by Wall St.), Greenspan flooding the market with cheap money in 2002, and financial institutions (including Fannie and Freddie) seeking increased revenues and market share via subprime lending and securitization led to this mess.

The burgeoning imperial government made doing business here a nightmare, essentially exporting the middle class jobs, then they forced the banks to make loans to increasingly underemployed people. The real blame for all of this lies squarely upon government intervention.

Cheap labor overseas is what drove middle-class jobs out of the country. No amount of deregulation can bring American wages in line with that of a third-world country, unless we reduce our standard of living.