Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Getting past the social mask.

April_Infinite

Don Juan
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Rapport. I was wondering in what ways do you guys test and qualify women to make sure that they are interesting and good people under the face that everyone puts up in public. I have no idea how to do this without asking boring, conversation-halting, reporter questions.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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benjiprice

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Rapport is about building comfort and trust, not about "testing". It's going from "who's this freak stranger?" to "hey, I like talking to this guy".

Also, that thing about testing her to see if she's "interesting" and a "good person", sounds like an subconscious excuse to me. A bs test you designed to buffer failing with a girl. "Bah, she wasn't interesting anyway". What if you were to meet a guy? Would you *test* him for those qualities? No. The interesting one would become relevant after a one or a few conversation. The "good person" one, requires a *lot* of time to find out.

The only test you should care about is "can i have a fun time (or fun times) with this girl?"
 

April_Infinite

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I don't need to get to know a woman deeply to have fun with her. She could be the eviliest person inside, yet still cause me to have fun with her. When am I actually going to find out who she really is? Eight dates down the road when I realize she was using me?
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
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To tell a good woman from a rotten one you don't pay attention to her words you pay attention to her actions matching up with her words.

Does she say that you are the most fun guy she's ever been with yet cancels the next three dates?

Does she say that people have always called her a generous soul but makes you pay for every meal?

These two examples are that of a rotten woman whose words do not match her actions.

The reverse of these two would be a woman that offers to pay half of the dates cost and if she has to cancel a date legitimately she will immediately make a counter offer indicating she has genuine high interest in you.
 
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