Getting better... but still need work

[Evil_Muska]

Just to start off, I'd like to apologize for any rambling I'm about to do, cuz I do it a LOT when it comes to Women. Ok...

I have just recently within the past couple years started to develop my skills with women. I have had one girlfriend so far, and she walked all over me for 6 months then kicked me to the curb. Within the past handful of weeks I've gone through 2 girls and am talking to a third. I actually had the first 2 contact me from this dating site I was on but never used, but they were both in my area, so i thought what the heck. Let's call them #1 and #2. Well I get both their numbers, go out with both in the same week, decide i like #1 better, so I tell #2 we can just be friends.

I end up hanging out with #1 one night, we cuddle, I surprise her with a kiss, and it turns her on so much we make out and end up having sex. Later on I decide me and her hooking up is a for-sure thing, so I get her something for V-Day. Well right before V-Day, she txt's me and basically says we're just friends bc she thinks I'm just in it for sex. I flip out, end up going to her place and leaving her present on the doorstep then driving off, AAAAND that's over.

NOW.... I'm trying to talk to girl #3 who I met in a class half a year ago. We really hit it off at school, she was always drinking from my cup, wanting me near her, and she always lit up around me.... But she had a bf. Well NOW she's single, and she's been showing interest in me again (she even sent me something on myspace on V-Day that said "I Wuv You!".... yeah, some really mushy pic of a kitten holding a heart....) Well I got around to asking her if she wants to hang out and get some dinner sometime and she said sure. The day comes and it snows like crazy, so she has to stay home. She's also still really hurt bout her ex dumping her, but has decided she doesn't need him anymore.

OK..... see? I warned you.
So... I just want to ask what I did wrong in that situation with #2 (besides the last part) and how I could see to it that it DOESN'T happen again with #3 (I REALLY don't want this one to get away.)

 

[Isko]

So... I just want to ask what I did wrong in that situation with #2

Do you mean girl #1? If so, what DID you want with her? If you wanted to date her, you should've told her so. If you just wanted to be fvck buddies, you shouldn't have gotten her a Valentine's present (although you could have brought over some beer and chilled/slept with her that day.) And you should have talked to her, and had a conversation about how sex isn't a big deal and you want to just stay friends/casual acquaintances (whatever you wanted) and keep each other as sex buddies, respectfully. Girls like the FB thing a lot of the time too.

 

[Evil_Muska]

Not sure what to say man...why did you flip out? You never, ever flip out on chicks...that's like Rule #1.

I got pissed bc I was so sure she was into me and that things were going somewhere, then she randomly just said she wanted to set the record straight that she just wanted to be friends, then she said she didn't realize I was in it for more than just sex. If I HADN'T flipped out, I guess I could probably have done her a couple more times by now, but that's definately not gunna happen at this point.

What happened to girl #2? Telling a girl you want to be friends doesn't end it for you...FYI. Reinitiate with her bozo.

Ok, what I actually told her was that it was fun hanging out and stuff, but that I was seeing someone, and that we should be friends. Go ahead and bash me for that one, I deserve it.

Girl #3...don't read all that much into her valentine's thing..that means she thought about you, but sounds like to me you've known her for sometime. If you're going to ask her out...fvcking ask her out, don't skirt around the idea by dropping the ole "we should totally hangout sometime." That's lame, just be upfront, pick a night..call her up and tell her you're doing something awesome. Plain and simple.

I know, I guess your right. I don't guess she would consider me any less of a friend if I ask her out and she shot me down. I'll give that a try tomorrow.

 

[Kailex]

Just to start off, I'd like to apologize for any rambling I'm about to do, cuz I do it a LOT when it comes to Women. Ok...

I have just recently within the past couple years started to develop my skills with women. I have had one girlfriend so far, and she walked all over me for 6 months then kicked me to the curb. Within the past handful of weeks I've gone through 2 girls and am talking to a third. I actually had the first 2 contact me from this dating site I was on but never used, but they were both in my area, so i thought what the heck. Let's call them #1 and #2. Well I get both their numbers, go out with both in the same week, decide i like #1 better, so I tell #2 we can just be friends.

Mistake #1: Just based on one date with each, you tell #2 to just be friends? Way to jump the gun there, bud. You can't base a decision like that on a comparison of a first date. There's not enough of an impression built up yet for you to do something like that. You're supposed to spin plates, not knock them off as soon as you THINK you have something better.

I end up hanging out with #1 one night, we cuddle, I surprise her with a kiss, and it turns her on so much we make out and end up having sex. Later on I decide me and her hooking up is a for-sure thing, so I get her something for V-Day. Well right before V-Day, she txt's me and basically says we're just friends bc she thinks I'm just in it for sex. I flip out, end up going to her place and leaving her present on the doorstep then driving off, AAAAND that's over.

Mistake #2: See, what you chose for? You ditched Girl #2 for a girl who decided she wanted to go out with someone else on V-Day that WASN'T you. So then, what do you do, you FLIP out (good lord) and then you REWARD her for flaking out on you by giving her a present? You only had been on one date and you are buying presents for this girl? Way to AFC your way into Girl #1's life. Did you think she'd see the present, feel guilty, call you back and then demand you two to go out again???

NOW.... I'm trying to talk to girl #3 who I met in a class half a year ago. We really hit it off at school, she was always drinking from my cup, wanting me near her, and she always lit up around me.... But she had a bf. Well NOW she's single, and she's been showing interest in me again (she even sent me something on myspace on V-Day that said "I Wuv You!".... yeah, some really mushy pic of a kitten holding a heart....) Well I got around to asking her if she wants to hang out and get some dinner sometime and she said sure. The day comes and it snows like crazy, so she has to stay home. She's also still really hurt bout her ex dumping her, but has decided she doesn't need him anymore.

Mistake #3: OMG, she did what on your MySpace? You must be REALLY special, you and the other 6 guys she probably sent something similar to. And I don't think you can do anything about making it NOT snow.
And your problem now is that you already are talking about this girl like: I REALLY don't want this one to get away.

OK..... see? I warned you.
So... I just want to ask what I did wrong in that situation with #2 (besides the last part) and how I could see to it that it DOESN'T happen again with #3 (I REALLY don't want this one to get away.)

Mistake #4: You are setting yourself up with a oneitis. What happens if she DOES get away?

 

[Evil_Muska]

Mistake #1: Just based on one date with each, you tell #2 to just be friends? Way to jump the gun there, bud. You can't base a decision like that on a comparison of a first date. There's not enough of an impression built up yet for you to do something like that. You're supposed to spin plates, not knock them off as soon as you THINK you have something better.

Ok look, I didn't give ALL the details bc I didn't want to BORE you guys.
Truth is I talked to both of them for a handful of weeks, hung out with both of them on and off for like a week. THEN I took both of them out another week later. The REASON I had to let #1 down is because she was getting way too into me and I wasn't anywhere near as interested after getting to know her, so I figured I'd let her down earlier rather than later.

Did you think she'd see the present, feel guilty, call you back and then demand you two to go out again???

I guess I did. I realize now that that was a huge mistake, but I can't do anything bout it now. Another thing to note is I'm not used to just having casual sex with girls (although I've done it a couple times in the last 3 months or so). I've only recently had it start happening, so I'm still adjusting to it.

Mistake #4: You are setting yourself up with a oneitis. What happens if she DOES get away?

I guess I'll get over it. I always do... I just get onitis a LOT it seems.

 

[808]

What happened to girl #2? Telling a girl you want to be friends doesn't end it for you...FYI. Reinitiate with her bozo.

No kidding. I LJBFed a few women a while back when I got into my current LTR...and their interest is still really high; it's crazy. Though I suspect it's one of those 'they only want me because someone else has me.' The minute I get near them again, I'm willing to bet they'll just LJBF me so they can rebuild their ego that got destroyed when I LJBFed them.