"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Getting Away with Anything

B-Lemond

Master Don Juan
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Don't break the ice.


Most people are afraid to meet new people. They are afraid of opening someone. Thus, they are afraid to break the ice. Even if they have some authority they will most likely be afraid to open you and tell you do stop doing whatever you are doing.

Example:

I was at the gym and apparently there is a no-shirt no-service policy. Nonetheless, I did take my shirt off. One of the staff saw me take it off but he didn't say anything at all. If I had said "hello" to him, I would have broken the ice and he would have told me to put my shirt back on.

I didn't break the ice, and so I got away with it.

Example #2:
At school, I change in the hallway instead of the locker rooms because they are just too far away. Whenever I change in the hallway, there is always this AFC teacher (authority figure/staff member). He NEVER told me to go and change in the locker rooms... Until, one day. This day, I broke the ice. I opened him. I said "Hello." Once I broke the ice and opened him with a greeting, he took advantage of it and he told me to go change in the locker rooms. He didn't even greet me back. He just told me to go in the locker rooms. I helped him out by breaking the ice. The ONLY time he told me to go and change in the locker room was when I opened him (broke the ice).


Don't break the ice and you can get away with anything.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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belividere

Master Don Juan
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there is little that is more disturbing to me than the guy who goes to the gym and works out without a shirt.
 
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