Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
People have heard me talk about the importance of fitness and appearance a bunch....but lord....reading something like that pisses me off. Then again, its POF, so what can you expect? I wonder how many good looking dudes have pumped and dumped this chick. I bet she made it really easy for them too.bukowski_merit said:Girls profile on POF I read a few days ago:
"I get so much mail that it's hard to get my attention. So if you're going to write me - you better bring your A-Game. Unless you have really good looks or money; then you can bring your B-Game lol."
I don't think he was good looking, I thought he looked kind of weird.LeonSK said:I'm thinking over the recent virgin killer case...
IMO, he has looks and status (if Hollywood dad and BMW counts?), he has two of the three factors to get girls. How could he not be able to get girls?
"How could he not be able to get girls"?LeonSK said:I'm thinking over the recent virgin killer case...
IMO, he has looks and status (if Hollywood dad and BMW counts?), he has two of the three factors to get girls. How could he not be able to get girls?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I agree that social status can be in the top 3. but there is one thing that i'm confused about; let's say that you are a social person but you are picky as fvck when it comes to who you hang out with and who you date and you only go after quality not quantity. how do you manage being picky and having high quality plates?BeDJ said:I have to say that social status trumps all. It can open the doors to many adventures. It's as simple as being a fun, outgoing person without worrying who you attract. I've gotten through to many women that I would have never had access to if it weren't for a social personality. Game is also important, but if you approach with the strict intention of 'gaming' women, you will find yourself disappointed most of the time. Game is a great tool once you have already overcame the barriers to entry.
Sure, but this is just my experience. Please take it with a grain of salt.om1xr said:I agree that social status can be in the top 3. but there is one thing that i'm confused about; let's say that you are a social person but you are picky as fvck when it comes to who you hang out with and who you date and you only go after quality not quantity. how do you manage being picky and having high quality plates?
and when it comes to friends too. how do you manage having big social circles and building social status when you only find few people who are really that interesting?
can you explain more on those two points?
Very interesting. that was just some kind of a flow of thoughts and i'm not a beginner when it comes to game and dating but i'm still in my early 20s so there will be a lot more experiences and ups and downs to learn from.BeDJ said:Sure, but this is just my experience. Please take it with a grain of salt.
Being a social person will open plenty of doors, there will be good seeds as well as bad ones. You won't really know until you are dating them. In my previous post, it's just a way of putting yourself out there and dating as many women as possible. Of course, you will need experience to identify red flags as they come. Just as the first date, you will never see red flags by merely having a conversation, much less a first date. If you are trying to find red flags during this process, you are definitely on a agenda (relationship seeking.) That is bad because you are on a defensive standpoint as much as possible. Don't think LTR material, but if you can connect in the beginning stages of dating; 'High quality' is VERY subjective and you will NEVER be able to identify it early in the dating process.
Coming to your second question as to how they can be interesting. EVERYONE is interesting in their own little way. When you approach with he mentality about how they are interesting to me, you will lose out on a LOT of opportunities. The moment you define your own interests superior to someone else, you will close many doors. Stop doing that. Everyone can be interested, please keep an open mind. You will never know the access of people they are connected with.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.