Fundamental Law of Attraction - can YOU confirm my experiences?

[Trader]

We've all witnessed this on a superficial level: the *manly* athlete get the *girly* cheerleader.

The *manly* jerk, gets the feminine beauty.

What is really fascinating to me is that as I have become more aggressive (manly) I seem to be more attracted to the more feminine girls, the girls that giggle, play with their hair, the more passive ones

Has your tastes in girls shifted similarly?

Recently, I realized that when I demonstrate OTHER masculine excellences, such as extreme decisiveness, and consistency in my beliefs, it has the LARGEST turn-on for the feminine girls.

The more masculine girls tend to be more decisive already, and lack that wishy-washiness, and have a greater sense of consistency of beliefs than the more feminine girls. So my masculine excellences don't really attract them *as much*.

Have you experienced this personally?

I think there is something fundamental going on here: you LOVE what you lack.

On a superficial level, it means the more passive girls are attracted to the more aggresive guys. Obviously.

But this extends to a deeper level too: guys who exhibit other extreme masculine traits such as consistency in beliefs, and courage attract the more feminine girls who tend to have less of these traits than the more masculine girls.

There is this common saying: 'Oh these two seem to fit perfectly with each other.'

I don't think it really has anything to do with looks or personal tastes (oh she likes hiking and so does he!)

I think it boils down to, if you are a male with 90% masculinity and 10% femininity, then you are going to attract a girl who is 10% masculine and 90% feminine. Those numbers are just guidelines.

Now some of you will say: 'Oh 90% masculine, 90% feminine, whatever.'

Actually, deep down, you CAN instinctively tell which girls are more feminine, and it's NOT really about looks.

Take this test. Look at these 2 beautiful girls

Audrina Patridge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRf0R5jKeMk&feature=related Notice how she just exudes femininity, she giggles, plays with her hair, talks softly - hyper feminine

But take Megan Fox http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI2CErIA-i4 notice how she is more aggressive, more direct in how she talks.

Don't you agree that Audrina is more feminine in terms of her PERSONALITY? I love it when she giggles.

 

[squirrels]

I think Megan Fox could be feminine too...but she's put in a position where she's objectified to a much higher degree, so she has to play that part. Otherwise she'd be overwhelmed. Guys don't really give her a CHANCE to show off her femininity.

I DO see what you're saying, though, for what it's worth. The funny thing is that the more confident I feel when I go out, the less that "less-feminine" girls even want to TALK to me. It's like if I'M talking to THEM, there must be something wrong with me.

 

[hansol]

That's actually a really cool theory. Now I'm going to wind up pondering that instead of doing productive things... Oh well. I suppose it's Saturday.

It makes sense though. I wonder though if it has to do with one party filling a "hole" for the other party and vice versa (ie. smoothing out eachother's edges), or if it's more of an attraction thing: Men find feminine chicks hot, ergo the more feminine a chick is, the more dudes she can attract. And the more masculine a guy, the more attraction there is for females. So essentially the two extremes wind up attracting each other due precisely to the attraction value of the extreme...

Crazy stuff.

 

[Zarky]

Dunno man, I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about human nature. I've met plenty of butch chicks who wanted an even butch-er man to "take them." And I've seen very feminine women out with almost queer-acting men. Everyone's different. The secret to seduction is to quickly attune yourself to the differences in a new girl.

 

[Trader]

That's actually a really cool theory. Now I'm going to wind up pondering that instead of doing productive things... Oh well. I suppose it's Saturday.

It's not my theory, the ancient philosopher Otto Weininger first discovered it and I had to put it to the test based on my experience.

I wanted more data points from you guys.

It makes sense though. I wonder though if it has to do with one party filling a "hole" for the other party and vice versa (ie. smoothing out eachother's edges), or if it's more of an attraction thing: Men find feminine chicks hot, ergo the more feminine a chick is, the more dudes she can attract. And the more masculine a guy, the more attraction there is for females. So essentially the two extremes wind up attracting each other due precisely to the attraction value of the extreme...

I'm not sure what the cause is, but all I know is that when I was a weak male, I wished girls would ask me out. Now the thought is unbearable, I really don't want a girl to ask me out, I want to be the one to make the first move.

Dunno man, I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about human nature.

I agree completely. Attraction is multi-factorial. There are tons of factors that come into play.

But I would argue that this is the KEY law.

For example, money attracts girls, muscles attracts girls. But we OFTEN see girls with guys with only average income, or average muscles.

Based on my experience, this law of attraction (based on opposite personalities) is RARELY violated.

I've met plenty of butch chicks who wanted an even butch-er man to "take them."

Funny you mention this. I knew one very very masculine girl, she even told me: 'You have to take what you want in life, otherwise no one will give it you.' Well of course that's true if you are an ugly girl, and she definitely was. She could not act cute to get favors. Anyways, she was SAYING how she wanted an even more aggressive guy to lead her. But who did she just MARRY last year? A really soft passive guy.

I look at the END result, in other words, who is she dating? Who did she marry? I don't care who she SAYS she likes.

 

[slaog]

Trader, from my observations I can confirm that what you say is accurate.


I know a very masculine woman who married a very feminine man. She's the boss in that relationship and wears the trousers.. literally! In fact I don't think she ever wore a dress. The man she married is very quiet and does what he's told.


Zarky mentions that its a bit more complicated then that and it usually is. However I think its more common in long term relationships because people who are in short term relationships don't stay togethar if they're not very compatible.

 

[Trader]

Trader, from my observations I can confirm that what you say is accurate.


I know a very masculine woman who married a very feminine man. She's the boss in that relationship and wears the trousers.. literally! In fact I don't think she ever wore a dress. The man she married is very quiet and does what he's told.

Thanks for the extra data point. Anyone else have any experiences? Look at your friends and who they end up with.

Zarky mentions that its a bit more complicated then that and it usually is. However I think its more common in long term relationships because people who are in short term relationships don't stay togethar if they're not very compatible.

I should clarify - I am not talking about short-term relationships or one-night stands, those situations are *highly* variable. I'm talking about bf/gf and long-term relationships. I'm not talking about who the beautiful girl bangs for a one night-stand, I'm more curious about who she DATES or MARRIES.



So we now know that there really is no such thing as a 100% man. Every man, even the most manly man has some feminine characteristics to him (credit Otto Weininger, and Pook for mentioning this) So the question then becomes:

'What are the masculine qualities and what are the feminine qualities?'

Some masculine qualities are obvious: i.e. courage, and decisiveness.

There is one quality that I believe is ACTUALLY masculine, though most people would consider it a 'uni-sex' quality - very controversial. I want to start another thread for it, to get feedback from you guys, since I need data points, but it could be a waste of time since not many people will bother responding.

But hopefully more people will reply to this thread since feedback is key. Generalizations without enough data points become just 'hot air.'