From DJ to AFC in two weeks

[Telos]

I was seeing this younger girl for about a month and we were banging just about every other day. EXTREMELY high IL on both sides. At many points along the way she told me that she loved me. She wrote me this huge love letter and told me that I was the perfect guy for her. She even brought up the idea of leaving her life behind and traveling the world with me the following summer.

I was playing the roll to a T and she was entranced to say the absolute LEAST. She had no idea what I thought of her and she was constantly afraid of me leaving. I could see in her eyes that she was in love. The passion between us was as thick as blood, and life was absolutely beautiful.

Fast forward two weeks.

We started seeing each-other way too often and for way too long. Somewhere along the line I became severely attached and thoughts about her being "the one" started circling through my head like hurricane Katrina. As she suddenly lost IL from my increased neediness...I lost control, and her respect. Things spiraled downward faster and faster and I turned into an emotional wreck. It got to the point where she was no longer even laughing at my jokes but giving me hollow stares and occasionally humoring me out of pity.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I did the unspeakable.

I wrote her a two page note telling her how I really felt.

F*ck. Nail in the f*cking coffin.

So, it's been two days and we have had light contact. She told me she still has feelings but she is definitely distancing hardcore.

Guys. Please learn from my mistakes. When in doubt of her intentions, always error on the side of caution--step the hell back and regain focus.

Do not EVER give up control. Do not EVER let your emotions choke you.

Back to the field. Ugh.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Girls are wierd... haha

 

[ducaro]

ouch!

 

[Someone Much cooler]

**** it. I'm not scared to show emotions but I'm not creepy about it. Plus how old is this love letter writin chick? If you don't mind me askin. no one has written me a love letter since i was like a H.S student. 10th grade....maybe

 

[Evzone]

As a general rule, probably not a good idea to do "love letter" stuff unless you've been serious for quite some time, and even then only on special occasions, like maybe Valentine's, or immediately prior to having a lot of sex

 

[2nd_Chance]

Its bullcrap, you like a girl and get real feelings for her then she backs off. Stupid as Hell how things work, aint it? I mean, its not like you were pretending, or sucking up, you really liked her... blah... Girls really are weird...

 

[Nexus Polaris]

Eh, not entirely. They're just frightened by neediness and insecurity. It's a sign of weakness which is unattractive.

The awful irony of it is that the best way to show a girl you love her is to be more hands off than you'd like to be. You might want to spend every waking moment with her, but doing so will run her off.

 

[zerocelcius]

*read first signature*

 

[jazzmaster2]

Uh, I think you're missing the part where you banged her like you were already her man so early in the relationship. Sex too often and too early usually cloud up your judgment when it comes to emotions.

 

[DJ#7436]

Damn, I feel like im in the first half of your story, before **** hits the fan! I hope I don't live the second part! This girl is talking about moving in with me...advice?

Yeah, DONT F'N DO IT!


Dav

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Everytime I notice something going a little sour in my relationships. I always regroup my thoughts and change my game. Figure out your mistake(s) and correct them as soon as possible if you want to keep the girl you got. You ALWAYS have to judge a girl on her ACTIONS. Or stuff like this will happen to you and you will be dust. Then, you will be heart broken and wondering wtf happend.

 

[TonyWongButOhSoRite]

At least you relelaised you're mistake and you aint still crying about it. Where all going make mistakes we just got learn from them like you're doing now.

 

[The Inside Man]

Yeah, I did the same thing once except I sent a FACEBOOK MESSAGE when I was gone for a week on vacation. Downhill from there. But it is a strong lesson, everytime you mess up with a girl, and we all do often if we're out there talking to girls and approaching, it teaches you what not to do in that situation next time.

 

[DJDamage]

I was playing the roll to a T and she was entranced to say the absolute LEAST.

See that is your biggest Achilles heel right there. You were mimicking a DJ instead of being one. All those things that you "played" (being aloof, confidence, mystery, non attachment) would have being naturally played out if you were dating other women as well. But since you weren't, you circum to oneitis and your true self appeared eventually.

That is the lesson to be learned, don't fake it because reality will eventually catch up with you.

 

[Answers]

We started seeing each-other way too often and for way too long. Somewhere along the line I became severely attached and thoughts about her being "the one" started circling through my head like hurricane Katrina. As she suddenly lost IL from my increased neediness...I lost control, and her respect. Things spiraled downward faster and faster and I turned into an emotional wreck. It got to the point where she was no longer even laughing at my jokes but giving me hollow stares and occasionally humoring me out of pity.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I did the unspeakable.

I wrote her a two page note telling her how I really felt.

F*ck. Nail in the f*cking coffin.

So, it's been two days and we have had light contact. She told me she still has feelings but she is definitely distancing hardcore.

I know how you feel because I'm just after doing he same thing! I'm just hanging in there at the moment thinking of my next move next week. I even suggested we have "light contact" for a few weeks!

 

[Poonani Maker]

No One has been more oneitis that me. I even changed jobs (good ones) to be with my Love.

 

[Telos]

Eh, not entirely. They're just frightened by neediness and insecurity. It's a sign of weakness which is unattractive.

The awful irony of it is that the best way to show a girl you love her is to be more hands off than you'd like to be. You might want to spend every waking moment with her, but doing so will run her off.

Yeah. You have to think of yourself as an extremely potent drug best administered in small doses. Don't overdose your clients. The more you are available... the less valuable you are. Basic stuff... but not always easy to follow.

 

[Telos]

Damn, I feel like im in the first half of your story, before **** hits the fan! I hope I don't live the second part! This girl is talking about moving in with me...advice?

I don't think I would ever move in with any girl honestly... unless I was maybe 70.