Friends dissapearing when you get in a new relationship

[Delly2000]

I got a question. I have a few close friends that I hang around. 2 I can think of that helped me out alot (aside from the guys on this forum) through break ups in the past and we would get together and talk about how girls are basically bad and dont give us the time of day and screw us over for other guys etc.

So recently I got into a new relationship. She is a cute good girl. But it seems like my friends are not hanging around me as much. Its like I am the one that has to go out my way to contact them and sometimes I feel a bit of animosity. Its not like I want to hang around this girl all the time. I want to hang out with my buds. Its just something I noticed. Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Is it a case of jealousy? Or maybe because we are so use to talking about how girls are messed up...they feel I can no longer identify because I found one that is treating me good so far? (knock on wood).

 

[EastWind]

Speaking out of experience, I'd have to say it's probably you who has changed. Most guys tend to change when they get a girlfriend, starting with a certain smugness about them all the way to feeling superior and dropping buddy time to watch Sex and the City with the missus.

Very few guys are so consistent with themselves as to stay basically the same when they get a girlfriend.

I'm having this issue with a friend of mine. Got a girl and now he's around muuuuuuch less, always talking to her on Skype because she's got a "family situation".

Beware of not becoming that guy.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Delly,
You are concerned about friends seemingly losing interest....This is something we all notice...It is just as much you moving away from them....If you feel ostracism now,how will you be if you are out on your own after a Marriage breakUp?....That can be really lonely.

 

[metoo]

SHE is running them off, if not outrightly so, then by monopolizing your time. Does she go do everything with you that you used to do "before her"? Well, then, that is that, eh?

 

[Delly2000]

Okay.

I will make a big effort to hang out with my homies. I was just afriad that it would be some kinda jealousy thing. To be honest I dont want to exclusively hang with her. Hanging with the boys is important.

 

[TheEndOfDays]

First question: Are you really into this girl?

If you have blinders on, you may have actually pissed your friends off with something you did. It's very possible you blew them off to be with this girl and now they dont contact you because of that?

Second question: Do all of your "homeys" know this girl?

Maybe she doesnt like them? Maybe they dont like her? In lots of cases a girl can influence her BF to stay away from his friends. Back 10 years ago, we had a paintball teammate completely quit the team, sell all his gear, and quit hanging out with us. All because his GF thought we were immature losers. Granted, we we're, that is the cause and effect.

Maybe your friends know shes a bad idea. If I know one of my friends starts dating a bad idea I slowly distance myself, after warning them of course. sure enough, a few weeks/months later, HES BACK! lol.

Third question: You substantially "better off" than the rest of your "homeys"? You a lot better looking? You make more money? Ect?

If this is the case and you're the alpha, maybe your homeys went to join another pack, or find another leader? It happens.