Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Friend zone is FOREVER. PERIOD.

Framboise

Banned
Joined
Oct 13, 2002
Messages
87
Reaction score
0
Location
Chesapeake, Virginia, USA
When you become a girls friend, you are done. No matter what you do, no matter how much time in between you take apart, you can NOT change her AFC opinion of you. She may think she likes u a little bit then suddenly you show a small ammount of interest and she CHANGES HER MIND.

I'm writing this rant because i ****ing tryed to get the girl who inspired me to come to this site, again, who I, over a year ago, nexted and was incredibley mean to and this is the first time ive talked to her since. I finally started acting a little nice and i hung out with her 1 night, she told some friends she liked me and i figured she would cause i have more experience now, and then the next day shes saying "she doesnt know how she feels" bla bla same **** she pulled on me a year ago.

I HATE her. I have never found a girl in between that i liked as much personality wise or anything shes not even THAT PRETTY, shes just the coolest girl ive ever met, so im back to being mean to her. I'm seriously so disappointed that i cant get her I have enough status to get anyone i want and i cant get this ONE ****ING MEXICAN girl whose about a 8. ****.

Seriously, I'm a ******* now im no where near afc i do everything right, but Fate has ****ED me over, Once an AFC in a girls mind, ALWAYS an afc in a girls mind. IF ANYONE HAS SUCCESSFULLY landed a girl they afced first then came back later to get plz tell me how.

There has been about a year in between so i thought id get a clean slate but its not even like that, she definately is more attracted to me now i carry myself more manly and confidently and I dress better but i still cant crack this *****. All i want is to **** her once so i can feel like i conquered her. God DAmn IT.

SHES LIKE a 7.5 or 8 I just got off the ****ing phoen with her and shes way to confident when she talks to me and SHE gets off the phone, i cant ****ing conquer this one. Im not appearing needy at all to her now i barely pay attention to her but she still has a view in her mind of me as some needy un-manly prick.

Comon boys help me out here.

------------------
AKA- "Click Here" "French PLay"



[This message has been edited by Framboise (edited 11-27-2002).]
 

akaEnder

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2002
Messages
87
Reaction score
0
Location
Chester, Va USA
LOL this is great. I just brought a girl who was in the friends zone. I just told her to be my GF yesterday. She didn't even hesitate.

Anyway it takes a lot of time. I have found that if you are only there to get laid, then it is too much work, and not worth the time.

However if you want a LTR sometimes your friends are a great place to look first. (the girls...)

I won't go into a lot of detail now but maybe sunday once i get back home. Remember that it is possible, but hard.
 

Nocturnal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 21, 2002
Messages
2,439
Reaction score
7
Age
37
it's not forever. i'm surpassing it right now with the girl i had one-itis on for months, and confessed everything and etc. if this is possible anything is.

The how: It really isn't taking much effort anymore. what does it take? A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF WHY YOU ARE IN THE FRIEND'S ZONE AND WHAT MAKES HER THINK THIS WAY.

I see two ways to go about it.

1) Speed Seduction (not my style)
2) My way.

There's a whole forum dedicated to #1 so I'll focus on #2 only.

This girl was what "inspired me to come to this site" I guess you could say. I had the usually AFC story of one-itis but 10X worse. I confessed everything to her and became best friends.

How did I ever get out of it?

I cut off contact with her. Absolutely nothing, if I saw her in the hall at school or something, I'd act like nothing was different but I wouldn't stop to interact with her. She's pretty shy so it took her a long time to ask her why I stopped this. I told her she never iniated anything between us like conversations, and would never say a word unless I asked her a question (this was all true). I told her I felt like I was wasting my time hanging around her because she seemed indifferent.

She went into this long thing about how she was sorry (but I could tell she just wanted attention again, she's insecure and shy and has trouble making friends even though she's an 8 or 9), so I told her I wasn't mad and if she wanted to do something to call me. Of course she didn't, and I didn't call her or anything.

I would occasionally see her at school and get into a converstation with her (in which I would limit the amount of time I did the talking), then be on my way and not see her for a few weeks again.

I did know a lot of her friends, this really helped. I DJed some of them and they probably mentioned me. She wouldn't have told them everything that happened before, she's too shy. So it worked to my advantage.

After a few months of this, she finally asked a good friend of mine on the internet who lives in Ohio (I'm in Texas as of a year and a half ago) if I was mad at her. So he asked me and I said no and even though he knew the story, he went along with it. He also said she thought I didn't like her anymore, to which I told him I dont have a problem with her she just doesn't do much.

I don't know if he relayed that back to her or anything, but I saw her the other day and things were going pretty well, she even brought up a few topics sex-related. Note that a long time ago she told my buddy she didn't like me more than friends, and told me that also.

I changed everything, with little effort.

In short, all it took was cutting her off and having a good, non-negative reason for why, then continuing it. I let a lot of time pass, dealing with other girls instead, waiting for her to come to me. She finally did kind of and I kept attention at a bare minimum (compared to before it was almost nothing, I used to spend an hour or more a day with her
). The time I DID see her, the whole conversation was JOKING AROUND, and making SEXUAL REFERENCES. Before this, I used to be really serious around her and shy. Now she sees me with lots of people having a good time, she knows I know a lot of older guys who I hang out with and that I have SOCIAL STATUS.


------------------
"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

[This message has been edited by MaDsKaTeR212 (edited 11-27-2002).]
 

Framboise

Banned
Joined
Oct 13, 2002
Messages
87
Reaction score
0
Location
Chesapeake, Virginia, USA
ive done all of these key points, i even ignored her later on when she confronted me about ****. theres no way out even after a year, i guess ill waita nother year mess with more girls and try this **** again
.
 

PEACEDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2002
Messages
759
Reaction score
1
Age
38
Location
USA
Lol, Wow, I thought what you said was true, until i brought my 2 year friend into being my g/f of course i went through the same stage as your in now even discussed who I liked with her and was a Total AFC, until I just started to treat her like if she is my GIRLFRIEND, but the main key thing i did was..I made her realize I'm the perfect man for her and now she's crazy over me
 

Nocturnal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 21, 2002
Messages
2,439
Reaction score
7
Age
37
Originally posted by Framboise:
ive done all of these key points, i even ignored her later on when she confronted me about ****. theres no way out even after a year, i guess ill waita nother year mess with more girls and try this **** again
.
you have to appear to have dropped all the negative stuff, and become the perfect catch. intentionally let her see some things she doesn't know about that would make you look better, but dont make it appear intentional. it takes a lot to get out of the friend's zone, but luckily what it takes the most of it time away from her.

------------------
"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Everybody sees what you appear to be, few feel what you are,"
-Machiavelli
 

Boono11

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 25, 2002
Messages
252
Reaction score
0
Location
Roy, Utah
i'm gonna have to agree with everyone else on this one. i also had this same problem and i'm working on two girls right know. another thing you said that might be the problem

Originally posted by Framboise:
I'm writing this rant because i ****ing tryed to get the girl who inspired me to come to this site, again, who I, over a year ago, nexted and was incredibley mean to and this is the first time ive talked to her since.
You can't be mean to her. even though you think that you hate her you have to me the bigger person and not let her get you angry. i know she hurt you but you need to just go in there with a good attitude. when you be mean to her it turns her off to you. she sees you as someone who would hurt her. Girls want to be in a relationship with a nice caring guy, not some guy who is mean to her. just completly forget about her for a while. ignore her even if you see her. walk by like there is nothing even remotely different. If she decides to come and talk to you just be nice to her. act like there is nothing wrong. after you waited a while go up to her one day and just be nice. So the moral of my post i guess would be DON'T HOLD GRUDGES. that's my two cents

------------------
"Courage is being scared to death--and saddling up anyway."
- John Wayne

"One of the most important things in life is showing up."
Keanau Reeves, Hardball

E-mail:Boono11@aol.com
Aim:Boono11
 

Jester

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 6, 2001
Messages
1,949
Reaction score
7
Location
NJ, USA
I am quite thoroughly disgusted after reading all of that.

First off, the friend zone is NOT forever, unless youre forever an AFC. The thing is, unless you actually cure your oneitis, she will see right through your false confidence. Obviously you have not cured that yet, or come close, because you just posted this.

Now heres something else, just because you were an afc, does not mean you really were in the friend zone. So dont forget about ALL the girls in your afc past, there are almost definitely some that you were not in the FZ with. Keep your options opened in this respect people.

One more thing, madskater, what you said moost likely works, but its not DJ my man. Too much effort spent on one girl youre not even dating yet, thats just being an AFC who knows the DJ tactics.

EDIT:

Originally posted by MaDsKaTeR212:
you have to appear to have dropped all the negative stuff,
Dont appear that way, actually be it.

[This message has been edited by Jester (edited 11-30-2002).]
 

Nocturnal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 21, 2002
Messages
2,439
Reaction score
7
Age
37
i know this was from a while ago but i just remembered about it...


Originally posted by Jester
I am quite thoroughly disgusted after reading all of that.

First off, the friend zone is NOT forever, unless youre forever an AFC. The thing is, unless you actually cure your oneitis, she will see right through your false confidence. Obviously you have not cured that yet, or come close, because you just posted this.

Now heres something else, just because you were an afc, does not mean you really were in the friend zone. So dont forget about ALL the girls in your afc past, there are almost definitely some that you were not in the FZ with. Keep your options opened in this respect people.

One more thing, madskater, what you said moost likely works, but its not DJ my man. Too much effort spent on one girl youre not even dating yet, thats just being an AFC who knows the DJ tactics.
jester, the main reason i did that was probably because this girl was pretty insecure and i just had the urge to turn control around and put it in my hands. it was a more personal thing to me... also, i just wanted to see if it was possible. the main part of it was ignoring her, so it didn't take an incredible amount of effort. just time.


Originally posted by Jester
EDIT:
Dont appear that way, actually be it.

[This message has been edited by Jester (edited 11-30-2002).]

true... its a good thing i've changed my train of thought.

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19451
 
Top