FR: Yet ANOTHER approach on the bus.

[ElStud]

Wow, I've really been getting in a lot of approaches in lately man, which is definitely good. Today I approached this girl on my bus named Allison. It went pretty good if I must say so myself. The only negative thing is that it took me so long to gain the balls to do so, mostly because I was afraid of what other people on the bus might think of me. Here's a summary of what it went like:

Me: Hey, do you mind if I sit with you?
Her: No.
[She's moves her stuff]
Me: So are you going to the Jubilee?
Her: Maybe.
Me: Yeah, I remember I went to the jubilee once and there was like this was ride there that went pretty fast. It's funny because I was going there expecting kids rides and I was pretty surprised.
Her: Well the main reason I'm going to it is to see this called [BandName].
Me: Oh yeah, I know that band, my friend Albert is in it, he's really good.
Her: Yeah.

- Somewhere along the lines she talks about how she wanted to go to the movies, but her friend really wanted to see the band. I talk about how I know her friend because she used to ride our bus.

- There's a silence, I ask her what music she's listening to, she tells me the name, and I tell her I've never heard of that band. I ask what type of music it is and she says kind of Pop, Rock, but also Indie at the same time. Tell her I listen to classic rock and she tells me her favorite band. I tell her I've never heard of that and she tells me something like she likes them because the singer is bad, but the lyrics are funny. We go off into that and yeah, I ask her what classes she's in, she's like "In order of the classes or something?" then I'm like "Just any of your classes" and she tells them to me. We eventually get off the bus.

- I catch up with her later like "You're in AP Geometry" then she's like "No, I'm in AP Latin and French". Then I'm like "You take French and Latin?" we go off into that.

- Eventually we're in the building and I'm like "I never got your name did I?" she's like "I'm Allison" and I'm like "I'm Mike, handshake?" and she does this weird upside down handshake. I'm like "Well, Allison, if I see you at the Jubilee I'll make sure to talk to you".

Actually went surprisely well, considering she's the quite type.

 

[WesCottII]

How do you approach?

All the birds never seem to buy into you, are you smiling?

I'd be coming in with a huge ass smile and a funny line to break the ice.

 

[ElStud]

How do you approach?

All the birds never seem to buy into you, are you smiling?

I'd be coming in with a huge ass smile and a funny line to break the ice.

Uh, don't really understand what you're saying here. And I always smile when I approach.

 

[WesCottII]

Fff, not rocket science man.

Whats the difference between "Can I sit here?" and "Heeeeeey, it smells like Pee down there, Imma sit with you today *big smile*"

Your approaches just seem, boring. No humour, you spark no intrest.

 

[ElStud]

Fff, not rocket science man.

Whats the difference between "Can I sit here?" and "Heeeeeey, it smells like Pee down there, Imma sit with you today *big smile*"

Your approaches just seem, boring. No humour, you spark no intrest.

Yeah, but it's not humor and stuff that causes attraction. You can converse with her a bunch and say a bunch of humorous things, it will not spark attraction.

 

[WesCottII]

Oh...I'm sorry, you're an expert now?


It's all about first impressions mate, if you're coming in with humour, you're a guy thats going to entertain her, if you come in boring as owt, you'll be a guy she can't wait to get away from.

 

[ElStud]

Oh...I'm sorry, you're an expert now?


It's all about first impressions mate, if you're coming in with humour, you're a guy thats going to entertain her, if you come in boring as owt, you'll be a guy she can't wait to get away from.

No, I'm just going by what this guy on AIM who goes to this site and gives me advice tells me. He says that conversation and humor are good for passing time, but they're not really what attract. His forum name is Snow Plowman or something. I'm far from being an expert. Besides, I don't know how to be funny anyway.

 

[wayword]

Fff, not rocket science man.

Whats the difference between "Can I sit here?" and "Heeeeeey, it smells like Pee down there, Imma sit with you today *big smile*"

Your approaches just seem, boring. No humour, you spark no intrest.

I agree.

Think of it as starting a fire...

1) You need a lot of SPARKS first. Or even a flame.
You need to let it catch fire first.

2) After that you can blow on it a little...
To build the fire to where it won't go out.

3) And then finally sit back and toss a branch in every once in a while.
This is after it's already raging and you just need to fuel it.


What the OP did was toss branches in before it had even caught fire. Zzzzzzz....

 

[BluEyes]

Me: Hey, do you mind if I sit with you?
Her: No.
[She's moves her stuff]
Me: So are you going to the Jubilee?
Her: Maybe.
Me: Yeah, I remember I went to the jubilee once and there was like this was ride there that went pretty fast. It's funny because I was going there expecting kids rides and I was pretty surprised.
Her: Well the main reason I'm going to it is to see this called [BandName].
Me: Oh yeah, I know that band, my friend Albert is in it, he's really good.
Her: Yeah.

Good job with actually approaching.

-----------

Everything highlighted is a no-no. At first, she won't care about you or YOUR opinion. You have no value to her yet.

Don't share your opinion, don't tell her about yourself. You approach her because you want to see if SHE is worth the time, not to market yourself to her.

Keep it focused on her, despite whatever thoughts come into your head, those are just ammunition for later.

good luck

 

[Snow Plowman]

No, I'm just going by what this guy on AIM who goes to this site and gives me advice tells me. He says that conversation and humor are good for passing time, but they're not really what attract. His forum name is Snow Plowman or something. I'm far from being an expert. Besides, I don't know how to be funny anyway.

Yes I said something like that but I think you misunderstood.

Yep all the humor and stuff is basically just holding there attention, because its what your sub-communicating that is actually getting the girl. Your personality is what is getting her wanting to be with you.

But like I said all the humor, push/pull, etc. It's pumping Buying temperature, making you stand out, your offering value, etc. Overall it will in some way help and it will also convey personality.

If you already know how to sub-communicate your personality properly, then you wouldn't need to use any attract techniques, because just based off what your conveying you could get them attracted.

The way I like to think of it is...Stuff thats on the surface level. An then the stuff on the sub-level. That's why if you just know what the techniques are and why there used and what it may be conveying, you won't need lines and routines because you can now just work on coming up with lines on the fly.

But like I told you...
1. It was a boring interaction
2. You were reactive
3. You were qualifying yourself.
4. Trying for rapport

But you are doing better from when we first spoke. An actually staying in sets longer.