FR: Is no contact the best thing to do when a girl starts acting uninterested?

[Scion]

Went out with this girl on the weekend. First date in probably 2 months. Anyway, we seemed to have a fun time. She was visibly nervous, and confessed that she was nervous and thought I stood her up (because she didn't meet me where I told her to meet me, lol). We grabbed some coffee, walked around a mall and talked. Lead her around, which she wanted (she even told me that she doesn't care where we went, it was up to me). Eventually we sat down, grabbed a bite to eat.

After eating I suggested we go back to my place to watch a movie or something, but she said she should go home and had to finish some school work (it was like 8 or 9 by then). Since I took the bus she offered to drive me home even though it was far and in the opposite direction from her house.

So we got to my place, she still said she had to go home. Ok, so now I know the kiss is coming so I got a bit nervous (I've only kissed 3 girls before). We hug, we look at each other and I go for it. We start kissing and I quickly feel her tongue in my mouth. We keep kissing for a minute and stop. She tells me to text or call her and I say I will. I kiss her again for a minute and get out of her car.

So up to this point I saw she's probably into me right? So I send her a text later saying we need to get together again and suggested sometime next week (since I remember her telling me she was busy on the weekend). She comes back and apologizes because she's not available next week.

I've since seen her twice online, so I've usually said hi. She was never talkative, which is distinctively different from before we went out. Before we talked online once in a while and she was very talkative. As well she texted me pretty often from when I got her # to when we went out.

Anyway, it seems clear that she's either lost interest or she's playing games. Would no contact be the best in this situation?

 

[Matt281]

No contact will protect your ego, but it's not going to make her interested again.

If she's really lost interest, there's not a lot you can do. Just send a random, funny txt every little while, or invite her out to something that you're going to do with or without her. Basically value-giving stuff that doesn't require a response from her. Like I said, if she's lost interest you're probably just gonna have to find someone else, but there's no harm in putting out a little more effort.

 

[Scion]

No contact will protect your ego, but it's not going to make her interested again.

If she's really lost interest, there's not a lot you can do. Just send a random, funny txt every little while, or invite her out to something that you're going to do with or without her. Basically value-giving stuff that doesn't require a response from her. Like I said, if she's lost interest you're probably just gonna have to find someone else, but there's no harm in putting out a little more effort.

Yeah well I was gonna try and date a couple girls at a time anyway. I'm not the best with women and should really hit the field more. There is one girl I work with that may be interested, but she doesn't really want to date a co-worker. She's even said that if either of us were to stop working there she'd date me. But that's not what this thread is about so nevermind that.

I don't really know if the girl I went out with has lost interest. It's just weird that the vibe I get from her is different. I know she's stressed with work right now so maybe that's it but not sure.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Went out with this girl on the weekend. First date in probably 2 months. Anyway, we seemed to have a fun time. She was visibly nervous, and confessed that she was nervous and thought I stood her up (because she didn't meet me where I told her to meet me, lol). We grabbed some coffee, walked around a mall and talked. Lead her around, which she wanted (she even told me that she doesn't care where we went, it was up to me). Eventually we sat down, grabbed a bite to eat.

After eating I suggested we go back to my place to watch a movie or something, but she said she should go home and had to finish some school work (it was like 8 or 9 by then). Since I took the bus she offered to drive me home even though it was far and in the opposite direction from her house.

So we got to my place, she still said she had to go home. Ok, so now I know the kiss is coming so I got a bit nervous (I've only kissed 3 girls before). We hug, we look at each other and I go for it. We start kissing and I quickly feel her tongue in my mouth. We keep kissing for a minute and stop. She tells me to text or call her and I say I will. I kiss her again for a minute and get out of her car.

So up to this point I saw she's probably into me right? So I send her a text later saying we need to get together again and suggested sometime next week (since I remember her telling me she was busy on the weekend). She comes back and apologizes because she's not available next week.

I've since seen her twice online, so I've usually said hi. She was never talkative, which is distinctively different from before we went out. Before we talked online once in a while and she was very talkative. As well she texted me pretty often from when I got her # to when we went out.

Anyway, it seems clear that she's either lost interest or she's playing games. Would no contact be the best in this situation?

Sounds like her interest level went down. The problem I see here is that you're giving her too much control of the frame.

If you had not texted her when she told you to, her interest level would have risen! After all, you should only be texting her when you want a date and want to be romantic/sexual.

This is why it really really helps to spin plates, because it gives you other things to do so you're dividing your "playa time" between different girls and not giving one too much attention at once.

It IS possible that you rushed her with that makeout session.
You might have broken comfort with her and made her uncomfortable around you.
It could be that you didn't warm her up enough for the kiss, like she wanted it so she went for it, but then she realized she felt uncomfortable and had to leave.

Who knows man...women think with their feelings and her feelings are different from yours.
Your feelings always come before hers.

No contact should be automatic after every date.
Next time, DON'T schedule the next date and leave her wondering when she's going to see you again.
Then either you contact her or she contacts you awhile later.

 

[Scion]

Sounds like her interest level went down. The problem I see here is that you're giving her too much control of the frame.

If you had not texted her when she told you to, her interest level would have risen! After all, you should only be texting her when you want a date and want to be romantic/sexual.

This is why it really really helps to spin plates, because it gives you other things to do so you're dividing your "playa time" between different girls and not giving one too much attention at once.

It IS possible that you rushed her with that makeout session.
You might have broken comfort with her and made her uncomfortable around you.
It could be that you didn't warm her up enough for the kiss, like she wanted it so she went for it, but then she realized she felt uncomfortable and had to leave.

Who knows man...women think with their feelings and her feelings are different from yours.
Your feelings always come before hers.

No contact should be automatic after every date.
Next time, DON'T schedule the next date and leave her wondering when she's going to see you again.
Then either you contact her or she contacts you awhile later.

there any way to turn it around? or should I just chalk it up to bad luck / learning experience and walk away?

 

[Scion]

bump

 

[Weezy]

No... There is absolutely nothing you can do other then go NC and find another chick.

 

[Jay Dee]

Don't go full no contact yet, but contact her the week after and try and get her out then. Block her offline till then and don't text/call either. If she contacts you before but doesn't mention going out then either don't reply or cut the convo and hang up. If you see her say you've been busy and you gotta go - then contact her the week after.

And as said, don't put your eggs in one basket - keep the game up with some other girls.

 

[Scion]

Don't go full no contact yet, but contact her the week after and try and get her out then. Block her offline till then and don't text/call either. If she contacts you before but doesn't mention going out then either don't reply or cut the convo and hang up. If you see her say you've been busy and you gotta go - then contact her the week after.

And as said, don't put your eggs in one basket - keep the game up with some other girls.

seems to be solid advice. Basically make her think I'll as busy as her. And yeah, I want to keep the game up with other girls but not too successful, lol. This is as much success as I've had in the last year.

 

[Weezy]

Don't go full no contact yet, but contact her the week after and try and get her out then. Block her offline till then and don't text/call either. If she contacts you before but doesn't mention going out then either don't reply or cut the convo and hang up. If you see her say you've been busy and you gotta go - then contact her the week after.

And as said, don't put your eggs in one basket - keep the game up with some other girls.

If your gonna try this approach, give it more than a week. A week isn't anything.

 

[Scion]

If your gonna try this approach, give it more than a week. A week isn't anything.

k, then how long? Don't forget that we've only been out once, and she said she was busy this week coming up, not the next few weeks.

 

[AMDG]

Would no contact be the best in this situation?

Actually it's the only thing in this situation - she will ignore you anyway