"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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FR: going good, then BURNED!!!!

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lebRambo

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hey all. first FR, so be kind. :)

anyway, go into priceline at the mall today (like a cosmetics shop that sells shampoo and hair gel and wax and all that) to buy some wax. I spot this HB8 working there, so I go over, have a good look at the wax. Anyway, I open up the convo with 'You must know something about all this. I like this kinda wax but I don't like the way it smells.' She smiles and starts trying to help me out, opening tubs of wax and smelling them and stuff. To be honest, I think she was enjoying the attention and the break from the monotony of just filling shelves all day. so I pick one, thank her for her help and smile confidently, and she blushes a little. So I'm thinking, score! I notice she goes over to the cash register to help someone out, so I walk around a little more.

On my way to the cash register, I notice this HB9 that I've known for like, 5 years but was just a friend, who is in a couple of my classes at uni. Turns out she works at this store too. So she notices me and says hi and we start talking. I notice the chick I was macking on earlier watching me, I think she was a little impressed that I knew this HB9, since she is pretty popular.

Anyway, I walk up to the register and she is smiling at me. So she asks me what I am doing that night. I'm like "clubbing most likely, what about you?" she's like "yeah, i'm probably do that." So I'm like, "well, maybe we should get together sometime." she starts giggling and sh*t, then she's like "er...no thats okay." But, to my credit, I didn't let my face fall or anything, I just paid and left.

what do you think? Was I right to think that I had a chance, or should I have just waited and asked her next time I see her?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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animal crackers

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Alright man you're awesome. You had the balls to ask her out, and you picked a good time to do it. (both of you go clubbing) Don't get discouraged at all. I would have asked her to go with you clubbing THAT NIGHT.

You're only problem is

what do you think? Was I right to think that I had a chance, or should I have just waited and asked her next time I see her?
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OMFGZOR! what the hell man?!?!

Was I right to think that I had the chance?????????

Dude...

Read the bible, and realize that YOU "have the chance" to do anything you want.
 
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lebRambo

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nah man, I was just being a sad sack. I know better than to let an opportunity get away, and I'm confident enough to pick myself up and try again. Plus, as you said, it did look like a good time to do that, huh?

It was a SATURDAY the day I asked her, I totally should have asked her to come out with me that night. idiot! :rolleyes:
 
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lebRambo

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I thought I made it clear to her by the way I acted that the HB9 was just a friend, but she might have taken it the wrong way. Either way, it was a learning experience, and next time i'll go for the number.
 
M

MindOverMatter

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Bro, your approach was very well done, even talking to your friend was a good move as it establishes social proof.

The failing point of it all (in my opinion) was probably the close. "lets get together" is a bit vague, she can misinterpret it.

A simple "well listen, it was awesome meeting you, I'd like to take you out sometime and get to know you better" and then asking for the number when she agrees is very straight-forward, and shows that you don't beat around the bush. If she says no then, then you move on. If she doesn't agree, at least you got the rejection in person, and saved yourself the time of listening to her flake out over the phone. That's why I also don't recommend asking her flat out for her number, always bridge an activity first.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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allan976

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KEEP GOING!

"....I notice this HB9....So I'm like, "well, maybe we should get together sometime." she starts giggling and sh*t, then she's like "er...no thats okay." what do you think? Was I right to think that I had a chance, or should I have just waited and asked her next time I see her?"

---First of all, congratulations for having the cajones to approach and DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED from approaching in the future. No, you did not make a mistake by trying to close the first time. My main critique of the HB9 approach was that you didn't develop enough of a rapport with her before asking her out. There's lots you could have done, but try to tease her a bit (C & F) on a verbal level first. Also, initiate and progress with the kino. Third, get to know her a bit more before asking her out. During your convo, you should look for tell tale signs of interest such as a smile with a wide open mouth, blushing, playing with her hair, whatever. The key is to hang in there, create a rapport, and begin kino-ing her at the first opportunity (you can start with a handshake and move on from there). You MUST see these buying signals (body language) and you MUST initiate kino with her.

Try this out with the HB8 or another HB next time. Check out the DJB and especially Gunwitch as well.
 
S

So pimp its scary

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Props for actually going for it.

I'm going to wager that she sensed that you were hitting on her, and that was the point at which she left.
 
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lebRambo

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no, the HB9 was completely unrelated, she's just a friend that I used for social proof. I was not trying for her at all (really good mates with her boyfriend). The HB8 was the target, and she works at this place.
 
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