FR: Failed lay attempt

[Vanilla]

Confused as to what I did wrong and might get some insight. To sum it up, there was a lot of LMR

Initially we met on Tinder, then from there I asked for her number. She's older than me but I didn't care. I said drinks at 10pm, then at the last minute she wanted to change the venue so that it was closer to her apartment. I said sure since it would be easier to go to her place right after. She was sitting at the counter in the restaurant sipping coffee. She was hyper and I teased her about it, saying that she didn't need coffee. I ordered a beer cause I felt like one.

We chatted and I kept trying to steer conversation towards sexual topics while touching her shoulder, legs, and then her foot when I noticed a tattoo. I then said we should take a walk and for her to show me her artwork at her place. Halfway to her place I stopped her for a kiss but she resisted, but was smiling. We continued walking to her place. I kept trying to put my arm around her to keep her warm on the cold night.

Once inside, her dog was all over me and her. She talked so fast and was giggling and smiling. I tried again for a kiss during a quiet moment, more resistance. I then wanted to share some wine with her, she complied. She put on some music and we drank/talked some more. I asked if she had other tattoos and traced my finger across the one on her foot and her back. Tried a few more times for a kiss, then she kept smiling and turning her head, saying this isn't what she does with guys on the first date. Plus she kept telling me how tired she was since she's not usually up late at night.

I proceed to make arrangements for a second date at an earlier time since I'm not feeling it at this point while we're holding hands. Before I leave, I try once more for a kiss, but only get the cheek.

Frustrating. But on the plus side, I have another first date on Sunday. Any suggestions or things I could have tried doing?

 

[BeDJ]

What an interesting specimen luring young males back to her lair.
Notice how she doesn't comply to the male act of emotional intimacy...

CROIKEY! We have ourselves a cougar!

Did you attempt any escalation further than kissing? Groping perhaps? A lot of older women aren't looking for romantic stuff and rather get down to business with younger men. She was looking for a sex toy, but the adult store was closed.

 

[Zarky]

dunno man... so many possibilities, can't really narrow it down without more info. Either way, forget her and move on. If a coug doesn't bang you on the first date then it's NEXT. The one thing cougs are good for is quick, easy, enthusiastic, hopefully talented sex. If they're not even giving that out then they're a waste of time.

 

[Mike32ct]

Some women don't want to kiss before or during a ONS. It's just not their thing. They just want sex without kissing, otherwise known as "hooker sex" lol.

In addition, older women often (but not always) are much less into making out than younger ones. I did a "tongue in cheek" (pun intended) thread about this a long time ago.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=190209&highlight=hooker

I understand where you are coming from though. Kissing seems like a very natural step up the escalation ladder, so it can feel very weird to avoid it and try other forms of escalation, but sometimes that is necessary.

The other possibility is that some older women are actually bigger teases and AWs than young ones. They just want to prove they "still got it" but won't actually drop the panties. It's possible that you ran into that also.

Maybe you could have tried kissing her BODY, not her face/both. Like her shoulders/neck and working down to her boobs. If she accepts that, she's up for a fling without intimacy. If she still declines, she was AW-ing you.

 

[Vanilla]

Some women don't want to kiss before or during a ONS. It's just not their thing. They just want sex without kissing, otherwise known as "hooker sex" lol.

In addition, older women often (but not always) are much less into making out than younger ones. I did a "tongue in cheek" (pun intended) thread about this a long time ago.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=190209&highlight=hooker

I understand where you are coming from though. Kissing seems like a very natural step up the escalation ladder, so it can feel very weird to avoid it and try other forms of escalation, but sometimes that is necessary.

The other possibility is that some older women are actually bigger teases and AWs than young ones. They just want to prove they "still got it" but won't actually drop the panties. It's possible that you ran into that also.

Maybe you could have tried kissing her BODY, not her face/both. Like her shoulders/neck and working down to her boobs. If she accepts that, she's up for a fling without intimacy. If she still declines, she was AW-ing you.

I'll keep that in mind next time. It's funny cause I did call her out and teased her on it in our conversation. Set up a 2nd date just for the hell of it and go an immediate response back.

It's on.

 

[Betterz]

Next time you get into her place . Rip your **** out and stick it in her face. If she sucks you can fvck. If not zip up and exit... Simples

 

[Vanilla]

Just got back and I cannot believe how unlucky everything turned out.

I brought a movie over but she was all dressed up like we had plans to paint the town red. Very suggestive so I thought it was green light. Conversation was smooth, though her eyes rarely met mine so I couldn't find ways to kiss her. I figured the movie was a sure thing to escalate.

After some wine, she got two phone calls and it was her pet sitter who was saying that her dog was vomiting everywhere. She freaked and ran back, apologizing while the door slammed in my face.

I figured while I was in the city, I could try to pull cute girls as I walked back to my car. Two approaches, one laughed in my face saying her dog was more important while the other one more politely declined.

Then on the way home, I get pulled over by the cops for expired tags so the plans I had tonight for costume party is now over before it started.

There will be better days, but damn.

 

[Skyline]

Keep going dude! You're getting a lot farther than most guys and even have the balls to cold approach. Every good thing has always come with a price.

I think you're almost there so don't give up!

 

[Harry Wilmington]

First listen to this: http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/slw005/
Then listen to this: http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/slw-0019-stop-focusing-on-first-date-sex/

These are the areas where you're messing up, and the reason these girls aren't responding to you on the first date. You need to change your focus so that you put out less pressure on these girls to get physical and freak them out. Both of these links will break down for you what it is you are doing wrong, and give you tips on how you can get the desired result you want from these girls - i.e. sex - whereby it makes it seem like THEIR idea.

Hope this helps!

 

[TheBossman]

^^^^ regarding those links-- fascinating how many completely different opinions there are on picking up women, all of which claim to be the most valid.

I'm gonna give that guy a listen. I think both those links are the exact opposite of what is preached here.

Talk about getting confused by so much differing information and ideas... whew!!!

 

[Wolfgang D]

Vanilla, you started touching and trying to kiss her at the restaurant the very first time you met in person. After what, an hour? Of course there will be many women who don't agree to that. You tried to escalate too soon. Sometimes you will be lucky that fast, but more often than not it won't work, in my experience.


The second time is just bad luck with the dog. Oh well, that's life. Good job doing more approaches the same evening. Really bad luck with the police. Ouch. Better luck next time!

 

[nismo-4]

Judge nismo sees that she's an attention wh0re and just wants to be friends. For real. She's happy you're giving her attention but isn't interested in intimacy or physicality. Bull to the sh*t. She's treating you like a friend (beta orbiter). Mixed signals (low interest/ attention only) anyone? Read this. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=207848

Drop her ass and get another girl. I give women ONE shot these days. F**k up once, you're dropped. If a girl dikteases me, she is instantly dropped, as that's a rejection. No pu$$y is golden.

A woman who says she doesn't kiss or have sex on the first date should be instantly dropped. That is a sign of a woman playing games and making you wait later, if later even occurs (on her terms of course)! As we all know, women who are interested in you won't confuse you.

Ask yourself, would this woman give LMR or diktease Channing Tatum? Hell no. She'd be all on him like her life depended on it! She'd kiss him on the first date, I garon-tee! And if she didn't, he'd just call the next girl in his phone and forget the one who refused to kiss him. Delete her number and go ghost. That's my ruling.

Case closed.

 

[Wolfgang D]

She's an attention wh0re and just wants to be friends. Drop her ass and get another girl. I give women ONE shot these days. F**k up once, you're dropped. If a girl dikteases me, she is instantly dropped, as that's a rejection. No pu$$y is golden.

Ask yourself, would this woman give LMR or diktease Channing Tatum? Hell no. She'd be all on him like her life depended on it!

Case closed.

So if she doesn't want to have sex on the first date she has "f ucked up", she is an "attention wh0re" and a "diktease".

Wow.

 

[Zarky]

Just got back and I cannot believe how unlucky everything turned out.

Yeah, sounds like an awful night.

I figured the movie was a sure thing to escalate.

Putting on a movie in the hopes that you guys can start groping on the couch is so... teenager? Amateur stuff man.

A cougar "relationship" is very simple. You take her out for a few drinks. You listen to her whine for awhile about how awful her ex-husband is. Then you suggest that the two of you go back to her place or yours. If she declines, you wrap up the date and never see her again. If she accepts, you go to her place or yours. Once inside, you have another drink. You pretend to be interested in whatever knick knacks she has on her shelf or, if you're at your place, you show her some dumb conversation piece of yours and she pretends to be interested in it. You kiss her and start to make out on the couch. If she puts up resistance, you finish your drink and say goodbye. If she doesn't, you go to the bedroom and f*ck. Afterward, you either make up an excuse to leave or you spend a fitful night trying to sleep next to her and say awkward goodbyes the next morning. If the sex was good, you repeat. If it wasn't, you don't.

That's how it works. That's how guys have been f*cking cougars since the beginning of time. Do not innovate.

The rest of your night sounded like sh*t

 

[nismo-4]

So if she doesn't want to have sex on the first date she has "f ucked up", she is an "attention wh0re" and a "diktease".

Wow.

I have little time and tolerance for female bullsh*t. Women are either interested in you or they're not. And I'm quick to drop a b**ch. If she's making it difficult for me, why the f**k should I waste my time?

 

[Greasy Pig]

The sick dog was just her friend giving her an excuse to bail.
I read an article recently where the author organised her friend to call her 30 minutes after her date started.
If the date was going well, she'd brush the call, but if it was going badly, she'd take the call and make up some emergency in order to end the date.
Ditch this one. She's not interested.

 

[Vanilla]

The sick dog was just her friend giving her an excuse to bail.
I read an article recently where the author organised her friend to call her 30 minutes after her date started.
If the date was going well, she'd brush the call, but if it was going badly, she'd take the call and make up some emergency in order to end the date.
Ditch this one. She's not interested.

This thought went in my mind as well, certainly not having a text from her confirms that theory.

NEXT

Vanilla, you started touching and trying to kiss her at the restaurant the very first time you met in person. After what, an hour? Of course there will be many women who don't agree to that. You tried to escalate too soon. Sometimes you will be lucky that fast, but more often than not it won't work, in my experience.


The second time is just bad luck with the dog. Oh well, that's life. Good job doing more approaches the same evening. Really bad luck with the police. Ouch. Better luck next time!

It was playful touching, mostly on the shoulder, hands and ankle when I saw her tattoo. Looking back she seems to have had low interest. Wearing low cut dresses that are clearly not meant for her age is either resembling AW or tease for free drinks. I will try the no-touch technique for the next girl.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Was she born in America?

That might be your problem.