"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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FR: Blind--er Bland Date

Yookiwooki

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Just kinda felt like posting this to learn from this experience.

Go ahead and share your thoughts or suggestions.


Went on a date with a Sophmore, im a Junior.(High School) She was ok... I dont like to use numbers, but she was up there. We originally planned to ski but she called and told me she didnt want to anymore, she may have been trying to flat out cancel, but I decided we should go to a resturant instead.

When I got to the resturant, I met her and her mom. Her mom left when we sat down. Talked about random crap, I made fun of her a lot and she seemed to think I was funny. We then took a walk around the park, and finished off by going to a coffie shop.

Unfortunely, I would say it was pretty bland. I've seen more sexual tension in a convent. Conversation was really G rated... we talked mostly about food and school. :/

There was very little kino to speak of. I think I touched her twice all evening. Walking through the park I kinda took her arm in mine, but it was awkward and I stopped, saying it looked like we were from the 1800s.

So thats about it. I guess I came off as really non-sexual and asking for a LJBF, even though I wanted to do more with it. Next time I really have to push myself to get out of the small talk and esclate the kino BIG TIME.

I guess its good experience just having a date, but I dont want to practice a sh1tty game, you know?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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eaglez1177

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LJBF? Kino?

Sorry im new here.
 

Yookiwooki

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LJBF is "Lets Just be Friends"
-- its basically when the girls uses you as one of her female friends, dumping her problems and wants on you.

Kino (Kinestetics) is just a word for touch: Going to a movie and putting your arm around a chick is Kino, tickling a girl is Kino, heck, I guess kissing could be considered Kino.

Welcome to the forum, btw. :)
This should explain everything: http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/
 

zubs

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this reminds me of a REALLY bland date from a while back that fits the thread better than yours does. I would make a new thread but this is more of a flashback.

So about a year and a half ago one of my buds asks for a favor, he wondered if i would go out on a date with one of his girlfriend's friends with them to a drive in movie. Now he has excellent taste in women, so thinking; what could go wrong, this sounds like a kickass night, i accept.

Now he showed me her myspace or something before the date, and her profile picture was a group of 5 or so girls, they all look pretty cute. So far, so good.

So night comes and me and him are driving out to pick up his girlfriend, who lives a short while out of town. So were both pumped the whole way there cause it was gonna be an awesome night, as long as my strict-ass parents didnt call worrying. We get to his girl's house, and then leave his car (saab)at her house cause not much room for people, and take hers over to my blind dates house....

Fast forward, were at the girl's house and I see two girls; one sorta hot brunnette, and one bland blond who is slightly overwieght. Now everything up until this point was great, but i knew that one of those chicks had a boyfriend since this was a group date, and who would you guess that would be? This was not my idea of spending my saturday night.

So we all squeeze in to the bland chicks jeep, which was a little scary to ride in. Throughout most of the trip i had to hold the rear side door from flying open, and i could see the highway through the door crack. So we get there and i dont even think i talked to this bland chick once.

The whole time my bud is apologizing and asking how he can make it up to me. haha; "zubs, i seriously had no idea"-thats how bland she was. He did make it up to me with another one of his girl "favors" so its alright.

Two words to describe my entire night: third wheel.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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