Zapp Brannigan
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2014
- Messages
- 265
- Reaction score
- 31
I know the title sounds a little preachy, but something happened that made me reevaluate my life recently. This year I finally accepted and dealt with some things that I should have earlier on, and from that I started to become overly cynical. I began to see things with an overly bitter perspective, and became an unhappy person deep down. A number of events led to this.
It all started around December, there was a plate I had known for a bit and was spinning. She turned out to only care about attention, and while I suspected she was that way long before then, it still bothered me finding out. At the time I kind of held in the slight hurt from the experience since it was so close to the holidays, and I didn’t want to think about it then. It really just got to me because so many women are like her.
About a week later a close friend of mine, someone who I have known pretty much my entire life did something to really upset me. They knew what they did would have bothered me if I found out, they tried to hide it, and when I confronted them they pretended they did no wrong. That bothered me on so many levels, and made me feel really unimportant to them.
Fast forward to a night in January where I realized I couldn’t lie to myself anymore about my first love/oneitius. I finally accepted that there was no possible future with her, and that she didn’t love me. That was brewing in the back of my mind for a VERY long time, and finally grasping it bothered me a lot.
I finally accepted everything that I was bottling up. That so many women around me where just attention seekers, that a friend cheated me, and that the woman who I thought I’d end up with didn’t care. All of this really got to me. At first it was depression, but then it turned into anger.
I tried to move past it all, but my perspectives on women and life in general at the time were awful. Then I started to pine over this girl who I met a few months prior. I end up seeing her one day and her interest in me was practically non-existent. Thinking about it, she was only interested initially because I kept an indifferent distance, and while I was still doing the same that day I ran into her, it was almost like she forgot it all. Seeing how types like her move on in a second only made my perspectives worse.
At that point I was pretty much numbed on women. I didn’t feel much attraction or any feelings towards them, my libido was at an all-time low, and I feared that I’d never be able to feel anything for a female again. I also started to only see the worst in my friend and the oneitius girl. I began to resent my friend because I truly believed that he didn’t care about anyone else, and with the oneitius girl I saw her in a much harsher light than I should have. I can't avoid the place that I run into her and whenever I'd see her I’d think about what the way she is, and it would make put me in a bad mood.
Recently my friend came to me, gave an actual apology, tried to make it up, and talked everything over. It was a nice moment and gesture, but afterward my inner cynicism ruined it for me. I began to think it was all some kind of manipulation tactic. Then the last time I was around the oneitius girl I pretty much went out of my way to ignore her. I saw things so cynically with her, that I couldn’t stand to look at her. Even though she wronged me, I felt like an a$$hole. Being like that isn't what being a DJ is about, were supposed to show that we can't be broken by what a female does, not act like a pi$$y little b**ch.
I don’t want to go too in-depth about what happened, but it made me appreciate life again. I started thinking about what was truly important, and all of the stupid s**t that made me mad before didn’t matter at that point.
With my friend I finally forgave him, and realize how much of a good person they are. Yes they did something to upset me, but gave a sincere apology in the end, and truly appear to be sorry. They do a lot for me on a regular basis, just like I do for them, and I’m grateful to have them in my life.
As for the plate and oneitius girl I still don't have very good opinions of either, but I finally forgave them, and it feels great to not be carrying around that anger I had. All of the petty bulls**t I felt when thinking about them is finally gone. I still don't want to see either of them again, but I don't get mad the rare times I do run into them, my mood isn't affected, and I go on my way.
To anyone reading this who feels rage towards some ex who left you hurt, you have to forgive them to truly move on. Walking around with that kind of anger and resentment isn't good. It eats at you until you become an overly cynical shell of who you once were, and it affects your game on both a physical and psychological level.
When you truly let go, forgive, and remember what's important and beautiful in life things are much better. You'll start naturally attracting more women, and your quality of life will be greatly improved.
Lastly if you're forcing yourself to not feel something for some chick, and it's gotten you to a point where you aren't feeling anything for any women STOP. Accept those feelings, but just don't delude yourself into thinking there's a future with the chick. Lying to yourself isn't going to make the love you have deep down for someone go away. I remember a few posts from
Threads in The Hall of Excellence and DJ Bible both mentioned how some guys unintentionally numbed their selves from having any feelings for women. That can happen, don't let that happen to you.
It all started around December, there was a plate I had known for a bit and was spinning. She turned out to only care about attention, and while I suspected she was that way long before then, it still bothered me finding out. At the time I kind of held in the slight hurt from the experience since it was so close to the holidays, and I didn’t want to think about it then. It really just got to me because so many women are like her.
About a week later a close friend of mine, someone who I have known pretty much my entire life did something to really upset me. They knew what they did would have bothered me if I found out, they tried to hide it, and when I confronted them they pretended they did no wrong. That bothered me on so many levels, and made me feel really unimportant to them.
Fast forward to a night in January where I realized I couldn’t lie to myself anymore about my first love/oneitius. I finally accepted that there was no possible future with her, and that she didn’t love me. That was brewing in the back of my mind for a VERY long time, and finally grasping it bothered me a lot.
I finally accepted everything that I was bottling up. That so many women around me where just attention seekers, that a friend cheated me, and that the woman who I thought I’d end up with didn’t care. All of this really got to me. At first it was depression, but then it turned into anger.
I tried to move past it all, but my perspectives on women and life in general at the time were awful. Then I started to pine over this girl who I met a few months prior. I end up seeing her one day and her interest in me was practically non-existent. Thinking about it, she was only interested initially because I kept an indifferent distance, and while I was still doing the same that day I ran into her, it was almost like she forgot it all. Seeing how types like her move on in a second only made my perspectives worse.
At that point I was pretty much numbed on women. I didn’t feel much attraction or any feelings towards them, my libido was at an all-time low, and I feared that I’d never be able to feel anything for a female again. I also started to only see the worst in my friend and the oneitius girl. I began to resent my friend because I truly believed that he didn’t care about anyone else, and with the oneitius girl I saw her in a much harsher light than I should have. I can't avoid the place that I run into her and whenever I'd see her I’d think about what the way she is, and it would make put me in a bad mood.
Recently my friend came to me, gave an actual apology, tried to make it up, and talked everything over. It was a nice moment and gesture, but afterward my inner cynicism ruined it for me. I began to think it was all some kind of manipulation tactic. Then the last time I was around the oneitius girl I pretty much went out of my way to ignore her. I saw things so cynically with her, that I couldn’t stand to look at her. Even though she wronged me, I felt like an a$$hole. Being like that isn't what being a DJ is about, were supposed to show that we can't be broken by what a female does, not act like a pi$$y little b**ch.
I don’t want to go too in-depth about what happened, but it made me appreciate life again. I started thinking about what was truly important, and all of the stupid s**t that made me mad before didn’t matter at that point.
With my friend I finally forgave him, and realize how much of a good person they are. Yes they did something to upset me, but gave a sincere apology in the end, and truly appear to be sorry. They do a lot for me on a regular basis, just like I do for them, and I’m grateful to have them in my life.
As for the plate and oneitius girl I still don't have very good opinions of either, but I finally forgave them, and it feels great to not be carrying around that anger I had. All of the petty bulls**t I felt when thinking about them is finally gone. I still don't want to see either of them again, but I don't get mad the rare times I do run into them, my mood isn't affected, and I go on my way.
To anyone reading this who feels rage towards some ex who left you hurt, you have to forgive them to truly move on. Walking around with that kind of anger and resentment isn't good. It eats at you until you become an overly cynical shell of who you once were, and it affects your game on both a physical and psychological level.
When you truly let go, forgive, and remember what's important and beautiful in life things are much better. You'll start naturally attracting more women, and your quality of life will be greatly improved.
Lastly if you're forcing yourself to not feel something for some chick, and it's gotten you to a point where you aren't feeling anything for any women STOP. Accept those feelings, but just don't delude yourself into thinking there's a future with the chick. Lying to yourself isn't going to make the love you have deep down for someone go away. I remember a few posts from
Threads in The Hall of Excellence and DJ Bible both mentioned how some guys unintentionally numbed their selves from having any feelings for women. That can happen, don't let that happen to you.
