For God's sake focus on your confidence, not your looks.

[devils3777]

I know it is hard to drill in our heads since we place so much value on a woman's facial aesthetics and body. Since we think like this, it is only natural to think women think the same.

Women do care about looks, but it is not 75% of the puzzle like it is for men judging women...it is probably more like 40-50%.

Why?

I have seen too many guys with attractive women and if I saw these same guys on the street I would probably think...."That guy probably never gets laid or his wife/girfriend is a HB5 or below.

This past weekend, I saw a fatass with a HB7.

My fat ass neighbor down the street is with a HB-7-HB7.5.

My cousins sister-in-law who is a HB7 is married to an obese guy.

When I was at my mother's cousins wake a few months back a petite cute redhead caught my eye. Her husband was some 5'6"-5-7" doughboy with glasses.

My good friends hot sister is married to a guy who is going bald and is chubby in the face and body.

My old boss at a bar I used to work at was 5'5" and losing his hair and had a HB 7-7.5 girlfriend dumped her and then was dating a HB8-8.5 who was three inches tall than him.

There are more examples, but I can't think of them right now.


My 6'0 tall, full head of hair and in shape body has gotten me an occasional hookup with a hottie, but no girlfriend in years.

So for God Sakes, if you are attractive, you have an advantage.

However, low self-esteem and insecurity throws any good-looks you have right out the window while the short/balding/pudgy and or average looking guy with self-confidence is out porking the girls you desire!!

 

[Alle_Gory]

No thanks.

I'm just going to keep hitting the gym. Looking good, is just one of the benefits.


Looks give you opportunities. If you don't know what you're doing, you're screwed.

 

[Roy]

So how would you tell someone with low self esteem to improve? What methods are there?

 

[Reborn]

So how would you tell someone with low self esteem to improve? What methods are there?

A healthy mind and a healthy body goes hand in hand. Working out several times a week might not solve everything but it is a good start and will give you a solid foundation to work from.

Other than that you need to figure out what is causing your bad confidence. When do you feel you lack confidence? In what situations?



I agree with Alle_Gory. Looks will give better opportunities in life which in turn can increase the confidence. (If everyone treats you well its hard to feel bad) Along with relieving stress and increasing important hormones in the body working out is something one shouldn't ignore.

Good looks enhances your other qualities.

 

[Five To One]

Working on looks improves confidence.

Lifting will make you look better and raise confidence, anyone who lifts would agree.

Learning about clothing style and finding what you look good in increases appearence and increases confidence.

Staying on top of your hygein is also a big one. Brush those teeth, shave neatly, dont smell, keep finger nails short. Its not hard to do but focus on hygein.

Thanks for posting but I dont agree. How do you focus on raising confidence without improving yourself? Theres been millions of examples of how fat ugly short guys get good looking girls. Everyone has seen it happen. Dont just assume they know what they are doing and are a complete stud. Maybe they just got really really lucky.

 

[kickureface]

agree with this thread. there is SO much crap in this tips section it's ridiculous. looks HELP but that only gives you outer confidence. go into a room with good looking guys and you become a nobody. and you will feel like ****.
real confidence ftw

 

[Alle_Gory]

Good looks can't make up for lack of confidence. And only having confidence makes things really hard.

So why not have both?

 

[Furyguy]

Just throwing this out there, women don't always marry the same type of man they're attracted to. A lot of women settle for the safe or logical choice... which it seems like these guys definitely are.

Anyways, a man looking for marriage is going to act differently and have a very different set of objectives than a man looking for a non-marriage relationship.

 

[EastWind]

Aaaaaand I'm quite sure all these women are faithful; it's inconceivable that they could simply have married a chump provider...

Looks aren't the whole story, I'll give you that. It's like your CV. A nice, shiny one gets you in the door. It won't do all the work for you, but it makes things much easier in the beginning.

In general, people respond much better to a well-groomed, buff man than to an overweight chump with huge glasses who doesn't know how to dress.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Believe it or not girls settle. If they got attention from attractive guys, im sure they would prefer that route, as long as his personality wasnt sh*t. Saying not to focus on your looks is horrible advice. You need to focus on EVERYTHING! Confidence is derived through how you feel, which can be dictated through your looks. Just do your best to look well put together. Even babies prefer attractive people, and they dont even know anything...haha.