First date went maybe a little too well?!

[MaddXMan]

First date on Friday with a cutie I met online. The 2 weeks previous to the date we established great rapport, just clicked, effortless. Anticipation for the date was high.

Kino through dinner, over drinks later we started making out. We drove to a park and in the rain started smashing like teenagers. She was into it. Went 3rd base and I got her off. Immediately after she got off she changed, and acted humiliated and embarassed, said that's not like me, etc. You know the story. I played it off with humor and said we're both grown, we can do what we went.

We parted ways and she called me when she got home to say thanks, had a great time, etc.

But, my intuition is picking up some distance. She used to text me several times a day, say "thinking of you", stuff like that. Saturday and Sunday, nada. I called her today and she was getting dinner ready for the kids and said she would call me back this evening.

So the question is, if on a first date the woman cuts loose and goes with the passion, then acts embarrased after, how do you get past it? Surely she couldn't have lost interest, it must be something else. Maybe things seem too rushed, I dunno.

I am 44, she is 37 - we're both mature. Yes she's a single mom but I'm a single dad and that's what I'm seeking.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Madx,
Buyer regret,just be patient,she will return like a Pvussy Cat,for another bowl of cream.

 

[window]

people are complex beings. If someone opens up so quickly like she did you can expect a level of recoil...I would just relax and let her know that where ever she is at is ok...

 

[MaddXMan]

She probably thinks that what I have in my head is that the next date we're just gonna screw, that I'm thinking she's a sure thing. I'll just be cool like I have been and it should be ok.

 

[DJDamage]

I called her today and she was getting dinner ready for the kids and said she would call me back this evening.

She is a single mommy with baggage, what do you expect?!

 

[Buddha_Mind]

She probably is just that -- a little embarrassed -- just let her come back to you, stay as a warm anchor -- ie, you don't judge her for getting down with you that night and she understands you still dig her...make sure you embrace her sexuality, if you respond all weird, it will make her uncomfortable even further...just keep moving forwards and see where it goes, I don't think your out of this game at all -- maybe she hadn't gotten any in a long while either -- just give her a bit of time but don't do anything to make her feel further embarrassed or that she did in fact do anything wrong.

Which it sounds like you're already doing!

If anything, just don't overtext or overcall in these next few days! Give her the opportunity to come towards you!

 

[MaddXMan]

Well that's that.

What she just sent:

"I had a fun time and you're a great person to chat with. We click pretty well but not at a level with someone who I'd like to have a romantic relationship with. Not sure how to explain it in details but think you understand. I needed time to think it through. I enjoy your humor, stay in contact but if you'd prefer not to I totally understand. Peace!"

 

[MaddXMan]

And: "Guess, I was misleading. Honestly it was unintentional. The vibes were not there for me, not at a romantic level."

Really. But you let me finger you to orgasm and suck your tits while you stroked me off and bit my ear.

 

[scrouds]

Next time worry about getting yourself off rather then her. Be more selfish in life.

 

[st_99]

maybe she saw you as ok (i can get off with this guy) but not good enough (am looking for something different longer term
or to date, perhaps you arent her type or whatever)

I certainly f'd a few chicks i had no interest in dating but they were'nt so bad I couldnt get off with them. So maybe
its just that simple.

or maybe your post sexual game was all wrong, idk.

 

[Viagra4Soul]

And: "Guess, I was misleading. Honestly it was unintentional. The vibes were not there for me, not at a romantic level."

Really. But you let me finger you to orgasm and suck your tits while you stroked me off and bit my ear.

I feel your pain - I'm in a not dissimilar situation to yourself, as same age, having a child from a previous relationship and dating a single mother currently (early days).

Frankly, she's given you all you need to know about what's happened here. She had some basic sexual interplay with you, thought about it afterwards and realised she'd over-reached. For whatever reason (you'll probably never know why this is) she didn't want to continue on with you. It could be an ex on the side, or someone else. It could be a realisation of what she needs/wants over the next realtionship cycle. It could just be a change in the weather - honestly, it may not have been anything you did or said. You have to forget about why and deal with the reality. It's done. And she was mature enough to tell you so, in clear words.

A woman of this age is (usually) a fully formed, reasonable adult. She made a choice to go a long way with you, but didn't want anymore. You have to accept that this happens with adult women (just as it does with adult men) who feel they have choices in their lives (do you really want someone who feels they have NO choices and anyone will do?). You have to keep looking for someone who has choices, and chooses you.

As soon as you accept this, the pain will start to lessen. And talking it out (even on a dumb forum) certainly helps.

best wishes mate.

V4S

 

[MaddXMan]

I feel your pain - I'm in a not dissimilar situation to yourself, as same age, having a child from a previous relationship and dating a single mother currently (early days).

Frankly, she's given you all you need to know about what's happened here. She had some basic sexual interplay with you, thought about it afterwards and realised she'd over-reached. For whatever reason (you'll probably never know why this is) she didn't want to continue on with you. It could be an ex on the side, or someone else. It could be a realisation of what she needs/wants over the next realtionship cycle. It could just be a change in the weather - honestly, it may not have been anything you did or said. You have to forget about why and deal with the reality. It's done. And she was mature enough to tell you so, in clear words.

A woman of this age is (usually) a fully formed, reasonable adult. She made a choice to go a long way with you, but didn't want anymore. You have to accept that this happens with adult women (just as it does with adult men) who feel they have choices in their lives (do you really want someone who feels they have NO choices and anyone will do?). You have to keep looking for someone who has choices, and chooses you.

As soon as you accept this, the pain will start to lessen. And talking it out (even on a dumb forum) certainly helps.

best wishes mate.

V4S

Of course you, st_99, samspade, etc are correct, and would make sense in the normal world. But this chick is a pof chick, therefore the rules become skewed.

She started contacting me again. Just asking how are you, are you ready for the holidays, etc.

I'm barely responding, just being polite and non committal. Cause, I am not ready for xmas and am really swamped right now.

If she stays in contact, and when the holidays are over (after new year), then I'll ask her to meet for happy hour. Keep it short, just be real chill, ask her questions about her, then jet after like 45 minutes.

That should flip the script.

Until then, I joined match last week and have 3 meetup dates for this weekend and a few more in the works! And, I talked up an attractive woman at Bed Bath and Beyond, asked for her number but she was married. Whoops! I always fail and spotting the ring lol