"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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First Dance @ Banquet = Crazy

Evolution

Senior Don Juan
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Yo, i went to a banquet with my friend. I don't know anyone there, but I was chill, bringing the party. I never danced before, got no dance game, apart from Dance Dance Revolution. Anyway, paid like $15, ate some food. Listen to them give presentations...

DANCE

Anyway I ask a girl what kinda dance it was gonna be. She told it was Ballroom. BULL****. We had a DJ, and a disco ball. Lights were turned out.
Anyway, I started out trying to fit in, looking around, clapping my hands not really doing much. I saw my friend grinding with some girl, so I was kinda intimated. But, eventually I saw a girl, I said "Hey, lets go." Took her hand, walked back, spin her around, danced around. It felt really good, to actually hold a girl's hand, our hands were interlocked. I guess at that point, I just snapped into action. I just started jumping around, dancing like crazy, DAMN girls said I was a PRO. It was my first time too, my friend said I got balls. I grinded with like 5 girls, I just went right in, didn't even need to ask.

But, I messed up, cause I was grinding her, hands on her hips, but I kept spanking her in the ass, and she didn't like that. Yeah It was definitely a experience for me. I had a girl ask me all these questions like "Where I live?" and all that. Yeah, I'm just tired from all that dancing, It was about 2 hrs straight up dance/grind. My friends said I got balls, first time, and going crazy like that.

I really didn't care about the grinding, I was having fun, whenever I saw a group of people, I cut right in and started dancing! The girls were literally throwing themselves @ me. I believe all u got to do is bring the party. That's really all there is to it.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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smoofle

Don Juan
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Jun 1, 2007
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whoa, where do you live? your night sounds really familiar to me :p down to the banquet and ballroom dancing details
 

DamHE

Don Juan
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Nov 9, 2006
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Hi, Im just curious.. but when you say you snapped into action what do you mean by that? did you jump around like actually just jump around or you started dancing like those in "dancing with the stars"
 

john paul

Senior Don Juan
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Aug 19, 2007
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Dude thats great.

Its really not as hard as noobies think it is, once you get started it comes natually.

Next time you will can go into a dance with confidence.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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