Finally back in the game - Don't wanna fu*k this up

[Meisterman]

I live in an apartment at university (4 person 4 bedroom). First floor. There's this girl who lives right next door and her bedroom window is literally 3 feet from mine. She's a 23 year old foreign exchange student from England. She always opens her window to smoke joints out of it. I didn't talk to her or meet her at all the first month, until 3 days ago. Around midnight when she was smoking I peeped my head out the window and was like "pssstt! Hey" and then I introduced myself. I smoke too (I have my medical card) so it was easy to become friends quickly. We smoked and talked for a bit, went back in our rooms. The next day she texted me asking to hang out and smoke again, and then today (mind you this is at literally like 1-2 a.m. at night).

The thing is, I get this weird feeling like it's starting off the exact same it has with the last 3 girls I've been with. The texting, the smiley faces, the smoke sessions, it's all the same. Now I can see signs I didn't see before. However it has always ended after a few weeks with her losing interest, me realizing I was too needy, too nice, too available. After my last encounter ended in her flaking repeatedly I vowed to never make these mistakes again. Then I read these forums and realized everything about my game was ass backwards. At first I was so mad I fu*ked it up! but now I couldn't care less about the old chick and don't think about her at all. Because now I'm in the same situation with a NEW chick, who's 4 years older, more mature, smarter, cooler, hotter and overall just a lot better.

Basically I'm determined to make a positive first and lasting impression. My weakness has always been over time I gradually become more and more attached and more beta with my actions; too needy, to available, too nice, not aggressive enough or making a move, shy etc. It's just in my nature to be like this and it sucks for trying to seduce girls. And now I see it I am in this situation to relive my past and unless I learn from my old mistakes I will get the same results I always have. It almost makes me hesitant to pursue it at all from my past failures, but I know that's not a good perspective to have. I only met her 3 days ago so nothing has happened yet. But that's why I'm posting here to ask your guys' advice on how to approach this situation now instead of later. Without fu*king it up and missing an easy lay-up/slam dunk or being oblivious to hints, etc.

 

[Igetit!]

You say that you quote...."Don't wanna fu*k this up".


Well......you're too late my friend,you ALREADY have. Or to put it more accurately,you may not have screwed it up yet,but YOU HAVE already started off on the wrong path.


Have you ever gotten in a car to go somewhere,drove a few miles,then suddenly realized you were headed in the wrong direction? Well that's what you've done here. First mistake I saw I'll enlarge and highlight....

I live in an apartment at university (4 person 4 bedroom). First floor. There's this girl who lives right next door and her bedroom window is literally 3 feet from mine. She's a 23 year old foreign exchange student from England. She always opens her window to smoke joints out of it. I didn't talk to her or meet her at all the first month, until 3 days ago. Around midnight when she was smoking I peeped my head out the window and was like "pssstt! Hey" and then I introduced myself. I smoke too (I have my medical card) so it was easy to become friends quickly.

You became friends QUICKLY with someone you have SEXUAL interest in. Not good bro. Nothing wrong with you using both your loves of weed to bond over,I mean you need to connect on SOMETHING......but you need to slightly show sexual interest while bonding too.

Did you flirt with her? Try to compliment her? Suggest you two should get together and go do something sometime? (besides just smoking weed)


Just how did you plan to get a date....and eventually get a sexual relationship going on WITHOUT EVER SAYING,MENTIONING,OR DOING anything sexual???

We smoked and talked for a bit, went back in our rooms. The next day she texted me asking to hang out and smoke again, and then today (mind you this is at literally like 1-2 a.m. at night).

THIS is going to be the extent of the "relationship"....smoking weed and talking...THAT'S IT. If you don't do anything else,this is as much as it's going to be. And DON'T BLAME HER.........this is how YOU defined it.


You approached her talking about weed,never took it any farther,so this is where it is.

The thing is, I get this weird feeling like it's starting off the exact same it has with the last 3 girls I've been with. The texting, the smiley faces, the smoke sessions, it's all the same.

It's all the same because YOU'RE THE SAME in each incident.

If the same thing keeps happening from girl to girl to girl,it's because YOU TAKE RELATIONSHIP DESTROYING BEHAVIOR WITH YOU........from girl to girl to girl.


You think it's some kind of coincidence that wherever YOU GO this keeps happening? The only thing that's the same each time is YOU being there.

Now I can see signs I didn't see before. However it has always ended after a few weeks with her losing interest, me realizing I was too needy, too nice, too available.

Well if you SEE the signs and finally realize what some of your problems are,well....then STOP it. Won't be easy,but you at least gotta start.

After my last encounter ended in her flaking repeatedly I vowed to never make these mistakes again.

You did? Well what happened? Cause here you are again doing the same thing.

At first I was so mad I fu*ked it up! but now I couldn't care less about the old chick and don't think about her at all. Because now I'm in the same situation with a NEW chick, who's 4 years older, more mature, smarter, cooler, hotter and overall just a lot better.

Well seems you already know it's YOU. Well if you already know where the problem lies,AND YOU KNOW what steps to take to fix them.....well...I don't really see the point of the thread then.


What do you want us to do...to tell you what you ALREADY know?

It's not really knowledge that fixes things,it's knowledge APPLIED.

Basically I'm determined to make a positive first and lasting impression.

I think you did that already. Problem was it was AS FRIENDS.

My weakness has always been over time I gradually become more and more attached and more beta with my actions; too needy, to available, too nice, not aggressive enough or making a move, shy etc.

Yeah,well...that'll do it.....it'll kill interest.

And now I see it I am in this situation to relive my past and unless I learn from my old mistakes I will get the same results I always have

True. If you and this chick have had this "weed friendship" going on for a while,you might be friendzoned. In that case,you just need to add this chick to the list of the other thousand you messed up with and FAILED to learn from.

I only met her 3 days ago so nothing has happened yet.

Only met her 3 days ago. Well that's some good news,I thought maybe you'd known her for a while. However,you STILL started off on the wrong foot with her by (as you say) "becoming friends quickly".

But that's why I'm posting here to ask your guys' advice on how to approach this situation now instead of later. Without fu*king it up and missing an easy lay-up/slam dunk or being oblivious to hints, etc.

So you're after sex...or something sexual. Well....you need to make a MOVE. Not try to kiss her or anything like that,but ask her out.

If that makes you nervous,or if you're afraid "things will become awkward" between you two,then you're ALREADY screwed.

THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANYTHING BETWEEN YOU TWO TO BECOME AWKWARD.


But like you said...it's only been 3 days. If you haven't hung out with her too much in those 3 days,you may still have a chance,but you have to do something...and QUICKLY.

Otherwise,be prepared for another hot female "friend".

 

[Meisterman]

The first time I saw her it was only for like 30 minutes and it was pitch black I barely even knew what she looked like, so I wasn't about to start firing sexual innuendos right off the bat. But I did get her number. It wasn't until she texted me the next day after we met asking to smoke again that I figured she was interested. Again this was like 2 days ago so I'm pretty sure I didn't **** anything up yet & that's why I posted this now instead of weeks down the road.

 

[hudpes]

My first thought was the same as Igetit!'s: "I don't want to **** this up" is the wrong premise. The right one is "I don't give a ****, but I'll go for it." Make no mistake, if she texted you next day to ask you to join her smoking again it could also mean that she finds you non-threatening and nice, she enjoyed your company while smoking. It doesn't necessarily mean she wants to bang you. What you have to do is first change the path you're going, throw away all the fvcks, so you won't even have a single one to give, then ask her out ASAP, call her, if at all possible, and make sure it is understood as a date. If she says anything but yes, you'll know where you stand, it might be awkward for both of you, but you'll save yourself a ton of AFC stuff. If she says yes, keep all the fvcks away from you and keep pushing, gently, but persistently, for more until you bed her.

 

[movistar]

You could be good to go, she may be attracted to you as well. The last few girls you dated started out this way as well, so whatever you were doing got you to the next level. I think the key is to build that interest that you seem to do fine in the beginning and become sexual and then after than don't be so available and "around" ready to smoke all the time. Show her you have other things to do and that you are alway available.
I'm similar, in that I build attraction well, sex them and them become complacent and boring, not to mention always available.

 

[movistar]

Oh wait, I thought you had sex with the other women. Did you? When I read "hooking up" that's what I think.
If you didn't have sex with the previous girls you mentioned the yea, you are screwing up.

 

[Meisterman]

Oh wait, I thought you had sex with the other women. Did you? When I read "hooking up" that's what I think.
If you didn't have sex with the previous girls you mentioned the yea, you are screwing up.

Yes I did, with 1 exception.

 

[Chamber36]

I would just lay back, relax, keep her as a weed smoking buddy, and if you wanna hit it bring alcohol into the equation.

 

[Zarky]

Glad to see others have caught the "don't wanna f*ck this up" as being a bad sign. OP, if you don't wanna f*ck it up, start dating other broads and quit obsessing over this one.

Women attract women.

 

[Meisterman]

I would just lay back, relax, keep her as a weed smoking buddy, and if you wanna hit it bring alcohol into the equation.

That's basically my gameplan as of now.

 

[mikey2012]

Back in the game..dont wanna fuk it up??

You just have...remember...be indifferent..you care too much..you will fuk it up.

 

[adam225]

If you have to ask such a question then you have already FVCKED UP. Don't want to fvck up ? Stop asking how not to...

 

[jimmy18]

If you "don't wanna fu*k this up":

You have already given your power away in your mindset. You believe that "taking a stand" will result in her leaving you so you are walking on eggs, right? I know that this is true otherwise you would not have started this thread.
You are really asking how to get your power BACK .

Firstly all power acquistions involve risk. The risk is that the other person will leave the game when they realize that you are taking control. Unless you are willing to lose her, you are not suited to playing this game.
Secondly, power (the FRAME) is established from the first microsecond that you meet.
If you give it away to her by being compliant ,it is hell's own job to reclaim it later.

 

[Meisterman]

If you "don't wanna fu*k this up":

Okay I understand that was a poor choice of words to use for a title. I know I can't have that mentality. I need to give less fu*ks, and detach from the outcome, until I'm out of fu*ks to give. Got it.