"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Feeling worthless compared to GF..

illmatic1005

Senior Don Juan
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I dont know why, but compared to my GF, i feel worthless. Like i am sh!t, can do nothing, and good at nothing. I never think this unless i am around my girlfriend.

Here's why...

Shes smart, beautiful, and comes from a good family. That makes me feel a little worthless but theres more...

She plays for 3 different sport teams...2 softball and 1 lacrosse. She is good at ALL, yes ALL sports she does..She always wins game balls, is the team captain and everything else..

Normally, i would be happy for her and everything, and i kinda am..but im not as good as her in some sports. Having a GF who is better at u in almost everything, even sports (which im good at, but she is wayyy good) makes me feel like crap..

anyone have this experience? Anyone know what to do?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

MotownMack

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Stop competing with her.

Learn to appreciate those things about her, and chin up a little on your own self esteem... like Slaog said, she obviously sees something in you. Feeling like you're inadequate will lead to AFC behavior, and you will end up driving her away if you don't correct it.
 

Poonani Maker

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Find your niche in other things. Sports, when you get older, don't make you money and are really, a big fat waste of time. If you're playing sports just because she likes sports, well, then you're REALLY playing the AFC here and there. There's soooo much out there to learn. Sports is a waste of time in my opinion. I quit playing all the things I used to play (and exert so much time and energy on) about 10 years ago.

My niche now is learning speed-reading (at about 1200 wpm right now), multiple languages (about 10) at once, geography and history of all 193 countries and 50 some-odd territories around the world. I'm REALLY fascinated by Astronomy, the theories of origin (not orgy, but Panspermia http://youtube.com/watch?v=x08ALWRar4E), and what they find every year or so with new imaging technology (they say the universe is 47 Billion light years in diameter). Is it possible to open up a worm-hole? Well they might just do that in Geneva, Switzerland this year (create a black hole, suck us in, and kill us all! http://youtube.com/watch?v=fPxYdObyJ2A), but I doubt it, but who knows?

A WIDE perspective is what I try to gain by pushing MY boundaries, not hers. She'll probably just end up being some housewife to some millionaire if she stays so heavily involved in sports, and not on diversifying her progression in different areas.
 

Purple-Haze

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illmatic1005 said:
I dont know why, but compared to my GF, i feel worthless. Like i am sh!t, can do nothing, and good at nothing. I never think this unless i am around my girlfriend.

Here's why...

Shes smart, beautiful, and comes from a good family. That makes me feel a little worthless but theres more...

She plays for 3 different sport teams...2 softball and 1 lacrosse. She is good at ALL, yes ALL sports she does..She always wins game balls, is the team captain and everything else..

Normally, i would be happy for her and everything, and i kinda am..but im not as good as her in some sports. Having a GF who is better at u in almost everything, even sports (which im good at, but she is wayyy good) makes me feel like crap..

anyone have this experience? Anyone know what to do?
If she gets wind of your current state, she will become less and less attracted to you. This is one of the most unattractive things you can do - thinking she is better than you. She is with you for a reason, isn't she? Do not allow her to go that dark place of, "why am I here again"...it will lead to nowhere FAST.

Be proud that you're with such a complete package. Be glad that YOU attracted someone like this. Do not elevate her status because of your internal issues. The more you lament, the less attractive you become.

My ex had some issues like this. He was a cool guy with attractive qualities, but sometimes, his inner demon would rear its ugly head (making me question why I was with him). No one wants to be with someone who doesn't think they are good enough. If she is healthy and stable, she won't want to feed off this negative energy - it will repel her eventually.

You need to figure out what it is about yourself that's making you feel this way. This has nothing to do with her. She is not bringing anything out in you - YOU ARE. So what are your issues? Why are you so insecure?

As soon as you start to place MORE value on her by telling yourself that she is simply "better" than you, you begin to lose your own value (in her eyes). Find value within yourself. Be proud of what you have, OWN it, don't allow a plus to become a negative because of your own issues.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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