Hi,
iam currently 35 from germany, i make 90k a year (45% tax gg) as a software engineer, iam 6.3 and pretty good looking (little overweight and some hair loss starting but rest is decent), ltr of 9 years is 29, earns like 30k, very beautiful face, body is ok, shes my first girlfriend since ive been sick and therefor unable to date/have sex till the age of 26. I slept with 7 or 8 women in total. We are not married. We have one young son 1 1/2 years old that i love over everything. Shes currently on parental leave for 2 years.
Problem 1: The relationship with my grilfriend got progressively more unsatisfieng (I think ive outgrown her and mainly stayed because of my own insecurities/being immature/ major health problems)
Problem 2: Shes pushing for more comittment like another kid or a house.
Problem 3: I feel stuck financially&emotionally
Currently i feel stuck. Shes a good human with good morals. She cleans and cooks and is very good looking. I had a major accident 5 years ago and she stayed beside me even though it was a major impact on my health (and unclear if i could ever walk again without a cane, 90% healed now ). She really proven a true loyal friend.
I have problems with her negative aura often. I just dont feel at ease at home and shes often so negative or unfun (or lets say unengaged). Shes also not as educated/interested as me in things so we actually dont talk much about stuff happening in the world/live which makes me feel a bit lonely. There are no deep talks. I often think there could potentially someone out there i could have a bigger connection with. On top of that if i see the wives/girlfriends of my friends i cant help but compare her with them and feel like i could do better. There are 2 wives that make 100k each and one who has a 9/10 body and fake boobs. My girlfriend is very attractive from a beauty standpoint but not that sexy.
Currently i feel like money is an issue as well. It looks like we are not finding any place for child care at the moment so she cant go back to work. This motivates her to keep asking for another baby since she has to stay home anyway. On top of that she pictures us buying a house sooner or later. I dont want to do any of that honestly. Sometimes i really strongly want to be sexual with other women and be free.
I bring home about 4k after tax. If we split i have to entertain 2 households. On top of that my and her family will both hate me. They love her. But nobody has to live with her 24/7 but i will still be judged. Also i dont know what the dating market has in store for me at 35. The outlook of all that is depressing but staying is too.
I have currently about 20k saved but i have no idea how to start the whole process.
We have a vacation planned in a month and also i will have passed my trial period at my new job by then. I wonder if i shall wait till this all passes and then
start the seperation. Do i search for a place before hand so i have somewhere to go? How much will i have to pay to make sure she and the baby are still eating? How will the families react (probably hate me) and how can i explain to them? How will it impact my son?
I just feel overall depressed and overwhelmed. I just wish i never wasted both mine and her last 9 years so easily. I should have kept looking for a more compatible person i think. Theres also a huge chance i leave her and regret it.
I hope you can share some of your life expierence with me. Thank you.
