Feel like giving up...

[skinnydart]

Right about now, I feel like giving up.

I had gotten all pumped up after reading everything on this site, went out and bought a new suit of clothes, some cologn, then worked up the courage to ask someone out for the first time.

I've always been the non-social type, any free evening I would go to the back room in my office and watch a movie on my laptop of something. I've been wanting to get past that for a while.

So the one girl that's showed any kind of interest I asked out, we scheduled an evening. Then she never showes up, wouldn't answer her cell phone, never called me to cancel or anything. I had already bought tickets to a play, borrowed a car (I don't have one), so seeing that it was the first time I had ever asked a girl out, i was kinda discouraged. She IM's me 2 days later and says "sorry I didn't call you, I had to work".

Anyway, I ended up just giving the tickets away and heading back to my office to hang out by myself, just what i've been trying to avoid.

I'm really skinny (like 6', 120lb), but I have to work full time to pay for my college tuition and I go to school full time, so I don't have any time to even think about working out. And my job is sedentary so that doesn't help things either.

Between what I think is my appearence, acne (which seems to be a constant losing-battle), my age (vs. the actual college-age girls), not having a car, it seems like it's hopeless to get a girl. I mean, all I've done so far is wasted a lot of money.

 

[didntcare]

Alright babe,

you've already identified your problems. and the only thing stopping you is the psychological barrier and excuses your mind creates to affirm your belief that you can DO NOTHING about it.

which is entirely false, my brother.

lets look at it this way. take problem one for example. your physiology. you say you've got no time to work out? what about doing 200 pushups in the office spread throughout the day? ( some people cant even do 10, take it as a challenge, I CHALLENGE YOU ). invest in some iron and put it in the office and pump inbetween breaks! start with 5kg then move on to 20 per bell. pack on the protein, chicken, beef and loads of fruit carbo so your metabolism dont go blowing the protein. I GUARANTEE YOU ARMS like brad pitt( normal ). want abs? add 200 situps with that arm killer, want some lats and shoulders to get that "V"? do wide pushups with your legs on your seat!.

now for problem two. ACNE

hey, change your diet and see if it works, its scientifically unproven but medical journals have reported links to how refined man made food affects glands and toxic dispersal. read up, it might change your life!. till you get there, use a concealer, lifes a ***** and the price for vanity isn't cheap.

go to www.acne.org and follow the holistic approach.

and one more thing,

NEVER BELIEVE U CANNOT DO ANYTHING.

develop strong beliefs and be the best in what you do. top your class, start a business, make more friends, make people happy around you. one step at a time. you'll get there, I assure you!

 

[LucidDreamer]

Calm down, there's nothing to worry about.. Next time keep the first date casual, spending $$ on tix to a play may seem kinda desparate to her. Make it light next time (coffee or something).

Most of your problems stem from your age...acne, thin appearance, no car / $$ -- all of which can be fixed within a year if you want. Join a gym, learn how to clean your face or get accutane and save up for a car.

As for the girl just next her.

 

[Wiesman44]

Hey now bro. Your only 17 ? Sh#t. The acne will go away eventually. Just give it time. Buy some self-help books from barnes and noble involving confidence and psychology. There's absolutely nothing you can't change about yourself. Plus you have the advantage of being young. Who cares if girls don't like you in high school. Women havent a clue what they want then.


Start getting some friends, and being social. that'll be your first step towards getting women. Get yourself a social circle of guy friends and work it from there.

 

[christz]

rejection isn't easy gettin over at least at first and neither is gettin blown off for the first time.

girls do that, **** i've done it. But each time i did it i know why i did it. Its because I was intrested in the girl just not intrested enough to hang out with her.

same applys for women, there might be intrest but for something like a play, nah you gotta work up to big shyt like that.

so get back out there, talk to this girl and if she does it again over something as simple as coffee or a night out just chillin. then NEXT her move onto the next.. pretty soon you'll turn your attitude around

 

[AFK Protector]

Coffee is definitely a good idea. It gives both of you time to know each other better and most importantly, if you don't like her, it's cheap and you can just cut it like that. I know you spent all that money because it was your first date and all, but perhaps now, you shuold focus on school rather than women. Just a thought. I'm doing that although I have it no where near as hard as you have it. Good luck mate.

 

[tom121]

hey dude im 6'1 and i am about 145lbs, i know how it feels

but I am a sporty guy so I have some muscle on my arm

as for the girl not showing up, forget about her...

I got ditched first time couple months ago, it was with a girl on the internet. she made me wait 1 hour and 30 minutes. I call her house, voice machine, I tried it 3 times then I had enough of it so I just left.

I didn't lose anything, just wasted a bus ticket and made me mad. after that day I deleted myself from all the internet dating sites. I am glad I made the right choice.

 

[DonJuanQuixote]

You are just 17. Your problems are not permanent. All you need to do is work a bit on them, and they will disappear. Work out, eat, get big. Buy 5lb tubs of Benzoyl Peroxide. You'll be okay. See? SO easy!

 

[golf299]

like said above....acne cream with benzyl peroxide (5% or 10%) should do you very well... you can get it at any drugstore. give it a couple weeks and you should see decent improvement...if that doesnt do it for you, there's always Acutane. that will definitely do the trick, but you need a prescription, so go see a dermatologist. simply changing your diet and hoping is a waste of time.

 

[skinnydart]

Actually, I had already gone out for coffee with her which went well, and hung out another evening on campus. I guess I meant that it was the first girl I had ever asked out. I've known her for a year before I ever asked her out, so I don't think I'm coming accross to desperate.

there might be intrest but for something like a play, nah you gotta work up to big shyt like that

When I asked her, she said "yeah, that sounds great, I really like plays".

Most of your problems stem from your age

I agree, and I think if I was trying to date high school chicks, things would be no problem. But I'm a junior in college, and all the girls I end up meeting in my upper level classes all seem to be either 19 or 20.

I took people's advice, just to not worry about the age thing. Where before, I would have never asked anyone out, period. So the one girl ditching me just kinda proved what I was worried about in the first place.

So maybe my problems might have to do with the environment I'm in, just the presure of all my peers being so much older?

you shuold focus on school rather than women

Well, I'm a junior at a university and still have a 3.7 GPA, so I guess you could say I'm doing that. So now I just want to have something besides studying to do on Friday evenings.

Actually, the reason why I don't have a car is because my parents still won't let me drive, we don't get along well, so I'll probably be moving out for good on my 18th birthday, which I guess doesn't help with the situation any.

Like whenever I'm talking to a hot sophmore, things might be going well until they ask "what year are you". And when I tell them I'm a junior, they always ask "so how old are you?" and that's when their interest level drops and they forget about me.
Part of me just wishes I was a junior in highschool, so at least I could have chicks and friends my age.

 

[thefonz]

well at least have confidence that you're a smart kid......whenever you find a conversation with a hot chick steering in a direction you don't like.....take control, you have the power, you are a MAN talking to a child (so to speak), if you don't wanna tell her how old you are/what grade your in etc. act sorta like that question is boring you and you're losing interest in her and change the subject......if you don't wanna answer it, DON
'T......naybe say something like, "You wanna know my grade? So you can stalk me is that it? God i can tell you wanna take off my shirt right now..."hell, if anything it'll just make you more mysterious, she doesn't need to know all this stuff on the first date, wait like a month until your comfortable telling her that you got brains flowing out your ears

 

[skinnydart]

you are a MAN talking to a child

That's part of my problem, it's hard for me to think of it that way when I'm 17 and she is 20.

 

[chancer]

What's up man... I'm 6'2 140 lbs, lol. all time low, but whatever, I started working out this month. I made time. I work 20 hours a week, and I'm a fulltime student. I'm trying to graduate within a year, but it's hard trying to pay for rent and ****. I lost my car about 3 months ago... It isn't the easiest thing it the world, true. You just have to adapt to it. Not only that but i'm in a couple of organizations at school. You say you go and watch movies... You could spend that time at the gym. You just need to find a way... someway somehow, and push through. You can always do more. Just organize your time. And my lady situation... it's alright. Cant say i'm the type to go after relationships. Life is not easy now.. But I'm just gonna fit girls into my schedule, just like i fit everything else into my schedule... there is a way. Get rid of all the extra **** you don't need. Do things that are social. Sure it might not feel comfy at first, but you gotta do it. And remember... you're 17... You have to stay in there. This is your greatest time to shine.

and stick to complex carbs

 

[Bonhomme]

You got lots and lots of time.

If I only had this info at my fingertips when I was 17 ... time is on your side, skinnydart.

My main advice involves now to become not-so-skinnydart. I was 6'1', 140 lb when I was 17. Now I'm about 180 lb, and still pretty well "cut."

Get onto the health and fitness forum, and read about bulking up. I don't think you even need to work that hard at it to get results. In fact, it's critical not to overtrain (I did for years, and was stuck at 160 lb then). My own advice is to do the following:

1) Always, always, always warm up before lifting and stretch after lifting to prevent injuries.

2) Don't start too heavy -- 10-15 reps per exercise for the first few weeks, to get acclimated.

3) Work your way up to very heavy (for you) weights, with low reps. 1 (yes, ONE) to 6 reps per set per exercise, about 2-3 sets, followed by a warm-down and stretching.

4) Give enough time for recovery. This is key, since muscle is built after the workout when you're recovering. Never work out when you're still sore. Do not work out any one body part more often than once every 5 days (I do 7). This, and using heavier weights have made the greatest difference for me.

5) Always get some food in you right after a workout. A good protein/carb drink is great to start building muscle immediately.

Best to you ...

 

[DonJuanQuixote]

Re: You got lots and lots of time.

Originally posted by Bonhomme
If I only had this info at my fingertips when I was 17 ... time is on your side, skinnydart.

Word man.. these kids have it all.