"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Family Members who Marry

bigneil

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I will maintain an open mind about this issue because I don't claim to be inherently likeable, especially to liberals, but it seems to me that when family members (and probably also friends) get married, we essentially lose them to their spouse.

It's as if their new spouses are jealous of us, and want to be their favorite, and try to turn them against us. They compete for our time. Worse off, the quirks about our personality that our friends and family find lovable and which "are you", and which prompt them to say "you have to know him", tend to be things the new spouse decides to be very close minded about. They essentially hate anything unique about us, and over time, the person who once loved our unique points frowns upon them.

Or maybe it's simply that our political views are the opposite of their spouse, and they don't want to offend their spouse. For example, my sister in law got her child vaccinated and he had (mild) autism, and then she got the Swine Flu shot while pregnant with her second child. Meanwhile I am a health food writer who in 2009 was thoroughly documenting the dangers in well researched articles that my own brother refused to read.

In any event, I feel as though my relationship with my brother deteriorated once he got married (I was the best man, now we hardly speak). And likewise when my mother remarried, she is now with a man who, while extremely loving and generous, basically has the political opinions of Jaylan, so we can't even talk two sentences and not have it blow up.

What has your experience been with people who marry? Do you gain their spouse, or do you lose them, or is it half and half?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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The Duke

Master Don Juan
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What has your experience been with people who marry? Do you gain their spouse, or do you lose them, or is it half and half?
I've lost most of them that married. Most of the guys didn't keep a strong frame after marriage, and are in relationships where their wife is in control. The ones I stay in touch with tend to be in control of the relationship.

One thing you have to remember is marriage takes a lot of work to make it successful. They don't run on auto pilot. Both husband and wife get caught up in the rat race of every day life so its hard to devote time to people outside of your marriage when you don't even have enough time for your wife. I see it happen in a lot of ltr's as well.
 

Bible_Belt

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I live a quarter-mile from my mom, and I hardly ever talk to her because I can't stand to be around the blowhard douche bag she married. Everyone hates him. He hasn't worked in years, probably never will. She'll be working until she dies just to support him. He's a big fatass bully who thinks he's tough because he's fat. His personality would improve greatly from an ass-kicking, but my mom pays for his health care, so it would just cost her more money.
 
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