"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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facebook 1st date, always confirm! did i handle it ok?

Confused

Don Juan
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ok as i'm posting this im suppose to have a facebook date with a girl in 1 hour, i texted her last evening saying to meet me at 9pm at a train station. she said 'ok i'll see u tomorrow at 9pm'

so really that's confirmed, i dont need to send a text back to say 'ok see u then' cos she's confirmed with me.

anyway i do my customary 'i've already left but im going to be 5 mins late text' 1 hour beforehand even though i haven't left yet cos i haven't met her before so if she forgot i cant necessarily blame her cos she has no emotional attachment to me like u would someone you've already met,

she calls me after i sent that saying that i didn't confirm with her yesterday after she sent her text.. i said i didn't need to cos i asked her if 9pm is ok she confirmed.. then i said if she wasn't sure then she should have contacted me today to check.

she must have forgot she was meeting me cos she made dinner plans with her friend.

anyway the convo went that i suggested we meet later tonight cos i'll go see my friend nearby. was this a mistake?

she's assumed i've already left, which i hadn't but i didn't want to rearrange for another day given it's a facebook date.

i know i look not busy by trying to meet later in the evening but i did say i was busy next few days and cos i've already left and was really looking forward to seeing her i wanted to see her later.

anyway she thought 10.30pm was too late but i said ok, and mentioned we'd only go for a drink for 1 hour.. she kept saying she's so sorry and it's her fault and i go 'its ok, as long as i see u later at 10.30pm then it's all good' when she apologised again i might have made the mistake by saying 'its ok you can make it up to me some other time so i'll see u later'

it was the right thing to say but not in this context cos i reckon she'll cancel again last min when im already down there so im expecting a frustrating evening.

did i play it wrong?

u can tell i dont have any other plates cos its so important that i meet her tonight.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Confused said:
i texted her last evening saying to meet me at 9pm at a train station. she said 'ok i'll see u tomorrow at 9pm'. so really that's confirmed, i dont need to send a text back to say 'ok see u then' cos she's confirmed with me.
Since you didnt do this she probably thought you were going to flake.

You should of sent her a text saying exactly that ("see you then"). Next time be more decisive and firm.

Confused said:
anyway i do my customary 'i've already left but im going to be 5 mins late text' 1 hour beforehand even though i haven't left yet cos i haven't met her before so if she forgot i cant necessarily blame her cos she has no emotional attachment to me like u would someone you've already met,
Whether you gave her a heads up or not about being late, that probably confirmed to her that you were going to flake.

What you should of done was just send her a text at the correct time letting her know that you were leaving.

Confused said:
she calls me after i sent that saying that i didn't confirm with her yesterday after she sent her text.. i said i didn't need to cos i asked her if 9pm is ok she confirmed.. then i said if she wasn't sure then she should have contacted me today to check.
This is her way of saying "you were going to flake". You have to remember that women speak in code and its a lot more when they say nothing at all. She probably felt "well why should I let him know I'm not sure when he never text me to confirm the date?".

Nothing you could really say to save yourself from this cause she just thinks you're a flat out flake.

Confused said:
she must have forgot she was meeting me cos she made dinner plans with her friend.
She never forgot. This is what I like to call the mirror move. Remember in her mind, you are a potential flake. She had to make sure she flakes on you before you could flake on her.

You should just next her bro. I dont think theres anyway you can fix this. She'll just keep thinking that you're a flake.

Confused said:
anyway the convo went that i suggested we meet later tonight cos i'll go see my friend nearby. was this a mistake?she's assumed i've already left, which i hadn't but i didn't want to rearrange for another day given it's a facebook date. i know i look not busy by trying to meet later in the evening but i did say i was busy next few days and cos i've already left and was really looking forward to seeing her i wanted to see her later.
I'll just get right into it. Bro, in the future you need to leave when you tell the girl you're going to leave. If you dont want to be looked at as a flake then you must show loyalty. That first situation with you not confirming sends red flags waving in front of her like someone trying to get her attention lol. I would say NEXT her but I think she sub-consciously already NEXTED you. Move on.

pimpin
 

Confused

Don Juan
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i don't think i needed to send back a 'see u then' she's just using it as an excuse for forgetting and trying to turn it back on me.

she sent me originally 'tomorrow is ok if you're free, i'll let u know tomorrow.'

i dont accept maybe answers, so i sent back 'tomorrow is cool but lets just say 9pm at the train station ok? i got plans during the day and will have made other plans by tomorrow afternoon so kinda need to confirm it with you now'

so she sends me back 'ok see u tomorrow at 9pm'

so she confirmed it with me.

when she calls me at that time she caves in saying it's her mistake, the issue is that when it came down to the time i was already down there she f'ing cancels on me 10mins beforehand cos shes running late, i tell her to come by at 11pm instead (afc move i know) but i felt invested driving all the way down there.

she has the audacity to be late as well she didn't arrive till 11.15pm!! the worst bit is she had the audacity to blame me turning it on me when i confronted her on the issue negging her.

she just stood there stopped in her tracks and raised her voice trying to get me to back down, i didn't back down.. i didnt shout but calmly told her that i didn't need to confirm the time but i think i caved in by saying 'it doesn't matter now anyway you're here'

should i have just walked off?
 
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