Explain the Expectations of a DJ

[wakingup]

One question I've been thinking about is "If a DJ sees multiple women (plates), and finds out that one of the women has other plates too, how does the DJ take that into consideration?"

I know the answer some would give on this site is something like: "the DJ doesn't care or react to that, because he should know that he's the alpha and any other dude is probably beta."

There are others who have stated they won't share their women with anyone else (this is more my camp, too); however, I agree too with the other reaction, that you should have enough confidence/self worth to not care about other guys going after any of your plates.

So, im sure I'll get some different answers but I'm curious to know your thoughts on how to handle being in a non-committed relationship, spinning a couple plates, and also not allowing yourself to be cuckolded or showing jealousy/insecurity. Seems like a fine line.

 

[zekko]

I know the answer some would give on this site is something like: "the DJ doesn't care or react to that, because he should know that he's the alpha and any other dude is probably beta."

I think that answer is a copout, honestly. First off, there are a few guys on this forum that are probably on that level, but I think the vast majority that are going around saying that they are so "alpha", are nowhere near as "alpha" as they think they are. Also, what makes guys think they are so much better than the other dude? Maybe the girl sees things she likes in the other guy that you don't have to offer. But no, posters here always think the other guy is a "beta", or an "AFC", or some kind of chump. It isn't always going to be so.

When I was in plate spinning mode, I always figured that I had no right to have any say in whether or not these girls were also spinning plates. If we're not exclusive, then we can each explore our options, and I'm not going to worry about it. However, I notice as I get older, I get more and more disgusted at the thought of "sharing" a hole.

There are guys like Daniel Rose (who wrote the Sex God Method) who say that they don't allow their plates to have other men. And that they are just so "alpha" and so great in the sack that they agree to it, even though they know he is banging other chicks. I have no doubt there are guys like this, but to be honest I would never respect a woman who would agree to an arrangement like this, because to me this is telegraphing that she is just trash.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear WakeUp,
Seems a tad hypocritical to forgive in yourself that which you condemn in others...But their promiscuity does throw a few other issues into the crucible...These would relate mainly to Health and your own safety!

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

The term "DJ" is extremely subjective, as is "alpha" or even "plate.

It's all up to you, what you want. If you want to spin plates and require your plates not spin plates, then you'll need a high value or only date girls who will "put up" with that.

Sure, you can certainly sort for girls like that, which in and of itself is a skill.

But you aren't going to find very many "high quality women" that will knowingly bang a guy who's banging other girls.

Now, if you want to spin plates while building your confidence and skills, that's one thing.

But be aware that you're going to end up running into a keeper that might balk at your plate spinning. If you think you're the God of women and demand she accept that, you might let that dream woman slip through your fingers.

Go after what you want, but be sure to understand ALL the costs.

 

[Desdinova]

I think women are more likely to spent time figuring out which guy they want to be exclusive with as opposed to men who can remain happy fvcking multiple women. If a woman is seeing someone besides you, she's been very busy evaluating how each of you makes her feel.

 

[sodbuster]

It depends on what I'm using them for. S3x or a potential partner. IF just 'knocking boots", well, whatever. If I'm looking at them as possible relationship material..... Well, that just ended. As stated in THE KING AND I.... a man is a bee. He flies from flower to flower to flower. BUT the flower NEVER goes from bee to bee to bee.

You have all seen the studies on how a woman's number count has an effect on her ability to pair bond right?

 

[backbreaker]

This is a good question

the first time i really got into a solid plate spin mode one of my plates, who i honestly liked the most out of all of them, had an Ex boyfriend of 6 years who just would.not.****ing..go.away.

other than that she was a perfect plate. if i said jump she said how high. after we atually starting seeing each other she was there whenever i wanted her. she really liked me but she liked him too. she even admitted it which i respected she didn't' try to insult my intelligence.


she was honest with me about her cancelling dates at first because of him but once we started going out and **** i didn't think about it until one night i was supposed to met her at a night club and found her tounge fighting with him in the corner of the club. that **** kinda hurt honestly i liked her


i gathered myself, had a few drinks and said hey i'm good looking, i have plates and ****, i'm at a night club lol dammit im gonna have fun. **** her lol. so i just ignored her the rest of the night and danced with other girls. got a number too .


the more i thought about it, the more i realized it was pretty ****ing silly of me to be pissy that she had a guy hanging around when i was giving the **** to 2 other girls at the time lol. **** i ****ed another girl the night before i went to the club and i'm mad becuase she's kissing an ex lol. that's pretty childish.


so i said okay, well okay it is what it is. i'm just going to pretend he's not there and do my thing. and that's what i did. but at the same time, i'm not going to feel any remorse whatsoever about plate spinning. a few weeks past and we got into this routine, she'd call me as soon as i got off work, she'd ask can we go out i'd say no, she'd say why becuase you are going out with someone else, i'd say yes lol, then i'd get cursed out the rest of the way home lol. then i'd say well **** you still fuking with your ex what you want me to do sit at home until you call **** that lol. she couldn't say anything.

one saturday i was at her house watching 24 the TV show with her and he called and i was like dude i don't care pick up the phone lol. that's rude to not answer the phone. she was so stunned she didn't know what to do. she talked to him about 30 mins i really at this point didn't care.



then one day about a month or 2 later she came to me and was like backbreaker i really want to date you and i like you can you please stop seeing other woman? What do i have to do for you to date me? she had tried every trick in the book, bragging, ignoring me, cursing me out, none of it worked. i told her i liked her too but i have to be convinced 1. she doesn't' like me because i make a lot of money (i was making BANK at this time) and 2. i have to be convinced he's 100% gone.



not only did she stop seeing him, there was about a 2 month period where i was still spinning plates lol and i knew 100% she was only seeing me but everytime she'd say something i'd bring up her ex and say "i'm just not convinced yet" lol. you dated the guy for 6 years you think i'm going to just date you becuase you didn't talk to him for 2 weeks lol.


one day i just felt like i was ready to be in a relationship with her and i cut everyone else off and told her she was my GF. you could not wipe the grin off her facce for a good 2 months.


anyway that's how I handled it. my wife when i met her was seeing someone else too, i did pretty much the exact same thing and it worked exactly the same with her basically asking me what does she have to do for me to settle down with her.


i think by being overly aggressive it's counter productive. if you were really a catch you'd have other options you wouldn't be so obsessive of one girl. in my mind she hasn't done anything for me to be obsessed with her about yet, so who cares if she's seeing someone else she hasn't yet built that type of vaule in my eyes yet. Doesnt' mean I don't want to see it, but for the dramatics and stuff i don't have time for that. if you want to **** around and **** him too i can do that and be 100% okay with it. If you want to be serious i can do that too.

That's how I see it.

 

[zekko]

The flower SHOULDN'T be going from bee to bee, but in many cases it happens. There are slvts, there are wh0res, there are attention wh0res. There are women who entertain many different suitors before deciding on their best option (like Des was saying above).

I know this one girl, smoking hot, she said she was not happy unless there were a bunch of guys in love with her at once, competing for her attention. That's how she got her validation.