"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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exhusband sends her messages

penkitten

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my question is , how long have they been broke up?
is it all very fresh?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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MacAvoy

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Mr.Positive said:
Women do get harassed, when they do not deserve it. It's ok to want to protect someone who you care about, that's not being a captain save a ho. That's being a man.

Some women are non-confrontational. We call them feminine, and that can be attractive. What woman is going to want to be called a slut and harrassed? This woman actually sounds like a victim of harrassment, to me at least.
While I agreed with the first part of your post about her being harassed, I guarantee I'm right on the matter. I don't know any good high quality, SELF RESPECTING women that will allow that type of activity in her life. I know plenty of LOW QUALITY feminime women that will allow that in her life.

Being feminine isn't the difference, its about her and her standards & her self respect,

good smart people don't allow that to happen to themselves,

good smart people, don't allow others to treat them that way,

good smart people don't allow people to make them feel that way.



That is why I know I'm right in this case.


ps did Mr P and Kx kiss and make up in those edited posts? I didn't see the unedited versions
 

Mr.Positive

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MacAvoy said:
While I agreed with the first part of your post about her being harassed, I guarantee I'm right on the matter. I don't know any good high quality, SELF RESPECTING women that will allow that type of activity in her life. I know plenty of LOW QUALITY feminime women that will allow that in her life.
Mac..you can't guarantee anything, without complete info from the OP. It's very possible she is being harrassed, we don't know the full details yet.

All we know is an ex-husband of 4 years is sending her emails calling her a ***** and a slut. To me..my spidey senses say she's not encouraging that, or wanting to be treated that way.

Also, Kx posted in the wrong thread, and I misunderstood him by mistake. So, I edited my post.
 

SharinganUser

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Here is my experience. I used to date this very awesome, loving good girl who was going through a seperation at the time. The problem was that eventually it ended (because she in the end she told me she wasnt really divorced, so I dumped her) we decided to keep in touch, but one day she sent me an email saying she was going to give her loser husband another try, and that we could not be friends anymore.

Why did she do this, I will never understand. That's how it happened, but luckily for her, the ******* got deported and now she (says) she is in a healthy relationship with someone like me.

So my advice is this. It is completely irrelevent how good and nice she is. As long as she is even in contact with this guy, it's not over. If you stay with her, eventually you'll get hurt. Wether or not she is over her ex, I can't say, but as long as she is putting up with this ****, she is not going to be emotionally healthy enough to date.

She needs to get her **** together before you should date her.
 

Rebound Material

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jesus christ...I have to know more details about this situation from the OP because I just came out of a situation thats WAY too similar....
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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KarmaSutra

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MacAvoy said:
This is more Captain Sav a Ho. Again not your responsibility to act for women, its her life and her choice.
The fvck it is.

If she's involved with you and her ex is putting his foot in your door you give him ONE shot. One shot only to respect you and end it.

True, she can tell the pr!ck over and over to stop but he will not. He'll do what most guys here do and keep clawing for any of her attention. When enough is enough and he doesn't get it from you, guys like me step in and ask him to stop. I ask once.

If he continues then it's on.
 

MacAvoy

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Mr.Positive said:
It's very possible she is being harrassed, we don't know the full details yet.
Like I said earlier, I agree that she is very likely being harrassed. But I said strong independent women don't sit there and take it asking for more.

Would you put up with that kind of behaviour from a women? Would you continue to allow her to infect your life? High quality people wouldn't! That is my point. If she was high quality, she wouldn't allow this guy to bring her down.

But lets look at the facts here, the fact is, this guy is showing signs of being abusive, controlling. He didn't just magically become like that over night. The FACT is she stuck with this guy for 4 years. Thats another sign, she's either stupid or a poor judge of character, either way, that to me equals LOW QUALITY.

You can call her high quality all you want but thats not the kind of high quality I want in my life. High quality means you don't accept that in your life, if I'm dating someone who I classify as high quality and they exibited that behaviour, I would immediately reclassify her to the low quality pile. I may not cut her out of my life but I'm going to change the way I treat her and the way I invest emotionally.

She has a choice and she is choosing to read his emails, she's choosing to allow his BS in her life by reading his emails and allowing it to bring her down. Am I right or am I wrong? Or do you honestly believe that feminine women are so helpless that they can't not read an email?

sharinguser said:
Wether or not she is over her ex, I can't say, but as long as she is putting up with this sh1t, she is not going to be emotionally healthy enough to date.
 
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