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Ex-gf. I feel trapped in a toxic cycle

Bigb2032

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I know I am going to probably get ripped to shreds here. But I need advice and help.

Been in a on again off again situationship with a ex girlfriend for 3 years now. Our official relationship only lasted for 7 months due to differences I thought we could work through. From that point on we been on again and off again since 2014. She has a quick temper and gets mad at anything and if it isn't her way then she's gone. I am 26 and she is 27. I have a great job making good money to support myself and someone else. she on the other hand lives with her parents works a part time and has no car. Majority of our arguments and breakups are because I can't help her fully. I help her as much as I can but it seems like she wants to be "saved". In these years she's had 2-3 relationships (im sure more) and always comes back to me. One time, She was actually pregnant by a ex and was still contacting me here and there wanting to be "friends" but I was ignoring it until one day she was in the hospital because she lost the baby but in the same day she asked to be back with me..in the hospital..while the baby father was there with her. She was also going through things with her family so as a friend I broke NC and was there for her which was probably a huge mistake.

Its tough because shes really hot and the sex was great so she comes over and tells me the guy she was with gave her genital herpes. I was shocked and pissed (wanted to bang) and she kept crying. She goes home and continues to text me I tell her herpes is forever and this all couldve easily been avoided if you would have tried to work things out with me. Time goes on and she finally gets me, I have sex with her with a condom few times didnt feel good about it. Got tested each time and no herps. She wanted to get back together but I just couldn't at the time, I also have other girls but for some reason my ex still had a hold on me. We get into a huge argument and idk, everything I was holding in for years came out I called her alot of names and just cussed her out. very unlike me and she also said this was unlike me and I hurt her. But she's done and said so much mean chit to me I honestly felt numb after saying it. I apologized for it later that week and she was still shocked and hurt. Now she has a new boyfriend but its long distance but they started dating while he was living close. Now I think I am kind of jealous and some days feel like I want her back smh I told her and she just can't give me any answers. She was with me yesterday no sex we just watched tv. I dropped her off and blocked her I am just confused and wondering will she come back (even tho she's came back more times than I can count) this is a strong attachment I can't break. She also has not told the other guy she has a STD and of course they are having sex if they are together.

Its getting to the point I may need to get professional help. I mean I have no problem getting girls and even other girls sex is great but I always tend to let my ex back in and it ends up ending whatever I have with other girls.
 

Billtx49

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She’s unstable as they come. Try researching BPD personality disorders on this forum and internet and see if she checks the boxes. Time for you to get a handle on this issue.
 

derby1

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im ok with people getting back with there exes you cant always blame the ex either.......however she is a little selfish immature child in a womans body....her mom and dad bail her so she has no responsibilities you will never win an argument with this woman she will just trot back off to the spare room in the parents house where the heatings on and the fridge is full of food, shell then hit social media and get 4000 men to confirm your a prik
 

Bigb2032

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She’s unstable as they come. Try researching BPD personality disorders on this forum and internet and see if she checks the boxes. Time for you to get a handle on this issue.
Yes i done my research. My question is why does she keep coming back to me and why the hell do i miss her. Part of me wants her back another part of me doesnt. Its been 3 yrs of this so the attachment is strong.
 

Billtx49

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Research further and find the term Hoover. Search the phrase BPD survivor also to find if you have the extreme attachment symptoms to her…
 

derby1

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i think the constant diagnosing of BPD is a bit extreme its not for us to say....some women are just immature as ****e and selfish but the sex can be good
 

Billtx49

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i think the constant diagnosing of BPD is a bit extreme its not for us to say....some women are just immature as ****e and selfish but the sex can be good
True. It’s up to him to decide for himself what she’s about and the situation he’s currently in. All the forum can do is point him in the right direction and help him if his situation looks similiar to our past experiences due to what he posted.
 
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derby1

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the BPD checklist just reminds me of every single woman under 40 that i know lmao
 
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