ex fiance' question--True DJ's please answer--Need help!

[fortminor]

To make a long story short I lived with and dated my ex for about 4 years. She broke up with me over a year ago and has since been dating another guy for about a year. We have still been in contact somewhat and have seen each other a few times since we split. She broke it off cuse she basically had to be single for a while and all those lovely excuses. Over the past few months I basically thought I lost all feelings for her and started to move on with life. She said she was really happy with the new guy. Well about a month ago I got arrested and she was the one that actually drove 40 minutes to bail me out at 3:00am. Just being nice? Well the other day I needed a ride to court and she offered to go out of her way to take me there. I was just thinking it was a simple pick up and drop off. Well she ends up coming back into my house for about 4 hours. I was shocked that she would even be in our old house considering she has a boyfriend and all. We were just talking and hanging out when she "jokingly" says something about taking me up stairs and having her way with me. I laughed at her and told her that she can't have me and played it off like I was better than her now. (I'm pretty sure she wasn't really only "joking") So then she starts talking about her boyfriend and a big problem they are having. I could tell she was really bothered by it and it didn't sound good for them. So anyways she had to go to work so we hugged and she left. Well later that night I find out from her friend that she hasn't talked to her boyfriend in weeks and they are on the rocks.WTF!?

Ok I thought I was over her but spending time alone with her really brought back lots of feelings and thoughts about getting back together. What do you all think her intentions would be if anything? Is she just messing with my head like all girls try to do? I mean she is doing things that she really shouldn't or wouldn't be doing if she has no interest in me right? On top of that she has a boyfriend! Going behind his back to do this stuff for me really makes me think about her intentions and why she is being like this. There is way more to the story in general but this is the latest stuff. She pretty much really screwed me over in the past.

Last question--If I wanted to try to get back with her what would be a safe way to approach that with her?? Any ideas??

Thanks--(I was all done with her until the other day. Now my head is totally screwed up cuse of her actions. Gotta love girls!)

 

[penkitten]

sometimes seeing someone stirs up old feelings that you didnt know you had due to the out of sight out of mind kinda of thing.

it seems that she is really going out of her way and you are getting along good. she still cares for you.

if you want her back, just take it slow and keep doing what you are doing.

 

[Jackman]

Before I even get into my opinion here, understand that I've actually been in those shoes. Your story pretty much played out just the same as mine and I've taken it further than where you are at this point.

My opinion is that she is not playing with your head at all. Not only is she genuine on her desire to rekindle the relationship, but if you allow it, she will likely go out of her way to make right and to make it even better than before. To be perfectly honest with you, getting back together will at some point early on feel like the best thing done and the two of you will share that sentiment together snuggled up on the couch, or whatever, with long kisses and lots of stroking and "You make me so happy" kind of stuff.

Here's the problem: Women like this usually only have strong convictions when they are happy. They are only in love when they are happy. They are only trustworthy when they are happy. As soon as it gets real, as soon as situations call for trust, forgiveness and tolerance to see hard times through, it's the search for greener pastures all over again.

The problem isn't that these types of women are cold and manipulative, it is that they feel so strong with the heart that even logic and common sense are twisted by it. These are the types of women that claim they will jump off of a bridge to demonstrate thier true love, only to run off with another guy if you stop opening doors for them and accidentally forget a birthday.

You're probably not going to take my advice, but I believe by getting back with her you are esentially doing the same thing: All heart and not a lick of sense.