alphaace
Don Juan
For those that dont know, my ex broke up with me right before our 5 year anniversery, If you want to know more,
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=119579 -Caution, many AFC mistakes made by me in that thread-
So anyway, as the title states, my ex claims she misses me and she wrote me a message on myspace. Heres the message.
Thank you for adding me back as a friend, it hurt so bad when you took me off both of your Myspace and Facebook friends lists...I didn't realize it would hurt that badly...
Anyways, I figured I could send you a very long message with a huge amount of things typed in it...but I'd rather talk in person if that is okay.
I can definitely understand if you decide you don't want to talk in person, but either way I have some things I need to talk with you about...
Let me know...
I then wrote her a sappy a** complete AFC message back, which I completly regret sending. But since im on this site to better myself I might as well post it anyway, so you arnt missing out on anything and hopfully it prevents someone else from making my mistakes.
I dont mind talking in person, im actualy coming down this weekend to have dinner my mom. But you have to first realize a few things.
You ment the world to me HerName, I wanted to marry you and have a family. I dont think you realized how much you hurt me. I still do love you VERY much, and I think about you every single day. But each day that goes by I think less and less, and the pain has started to wear off, not much, but a little. Im not the same little nice guy that I use to be two months ago, so I probably wont sugar coat any answers/comments you get from me when we talk. It's going to hurt me a lot more than you think telling you this, but no matter what happins after we talk, its going to basically come down to either AFCkid or me. I dont think I have ever given anyone an ultimatum like this in my life. But you have to realize that we cannot be just friends, it would hurt me to much to bare and I dont ever want to have to go through what I have again. I do hope there is a furture between us, because I still do love you more then anything in the world, but from what you told me from our earlier talks, its most likey not going to happen, unless you've had a change of heart.
She responded with
"I dont think you realized how much you hurt me."
...I know I don't. I'm just now realizing how much I've hurt myself. Crying myself to sleep every other night is just the beginning of it...
"But each day that goes by I think less and less, and the pain has started to wear off, not much, but a little."
Ditto, so understood. Except every so often (every other or every third day) I have a relapse and feel more pain in an hour than I did the rest of the whole day before.
"I probably wont sugar coat any answers/comments you get from me when we talk."
I think sugar-coating is a major part of the issue (particularly concerning me), but I'll get to that when we talk. I'm not interested in a "happy" conversation this time around anyways. I just need to get things out and said, talked over, etc, regardless of how nice/not so nice they sound.
I understand the ultimatum. Completely. And I can't say anything about the change of heart, as I am so very upset/confused that I can't think completely straight...I've been thinking in circles lately.
I work my til 4:30pm on Friday, 9am-2pm on Saturday, and not at all on Sunday.
I removed her from my friends list the day after our last "talk", she sent me friends requests a couple of days ago and my dumba$$ accepted them.
Being the complete AFC that I was when I responded to the message, I told her that I was going to be in town to have dinner with my mom (which is true, just wish I didnt tell her that now) this weekend anyway and we could talk then.
Im basically asking you guys for advise on what to do about this.
I figured I have two options.
A) She claims she misses me, but in the message she says "I'm not interested in a "happy" conversation this time around anyways. I just need to get things out and said, talked over, etc, regardless of how nice/not so nice they sound." ......Which basiaclly tells me shes hiding something from me
So what I was thinking about doing was agreeing to talk to her somewhere, and tell her im not here to play games and tell her im tired of dealing with this sh*t and the emotional crap ends here....Basically tell her im not here to be her emotional tampon
or
B) Tell her I changed my mind and I dont want to meet up and talk. Tell her I wont read or respond any e-mails she sends me and if she wants to talk she can come up to Gainesville.....Basically make her miss me more and force her to come to me.
I know I've made complete AFC mistakes during this dialog and I ignored advice from the previous thread. But I wont be making that same mistake twice. I am open to any suggestions or comments, but I need them before
2 PM (EST) Saturday. Just keep in mind I am still interested in being with her, but theres no way in hell im going to hurt myself again over this. Maybe some of you older guys on here can relate to that, I donno.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=119579 -Caution, many AFC mistakes made by me in that thread-
So anyway, as the title states, my ex claims she misses me and she wrote me a message on myspace. Heres the message.
Thank you for adding me back as a friend, it hurt so bad when you took me off both of your Myspace and Facebook friends lists...I didn't realize it would hurt that badly...
Anyways, I figured I could send you a very long message with a huge amount of things typed in it...but I'd rather talk in person if that is okay.
I can definitely understand if you decide you don't want to talk in person, but either way I have some things I need to talk with you about...
Let me know...
I then wrote her a sappy a** complete AFC message back, which I completly regret sending. But since im on this site to better myself I might as well post it anyway, so you arnt missing out on anything and hopfully it prevents someone else from making my mistakes.
I dont mind talking in person, im actualy coming down this weekend to have dinner my mom. But you have to first realize a few things.
You ment the world to me HerName, I wanted to marry you and have a family. I dont think you realized how much you hurt me. I still do love you VERY much, and I think about you every single day. But each day that goes by I think less and less, and the pain has started to wear off, not much, but a little. Im not the same little nice guy that I use to be two months ago, so I probably wont sugar coat any answers/comments you get from me when we talk. It's going to hurt me a lot more than you think telling you this, but no matter what happins after we talk, its going to basically come down to either AFCkid or me. I dont think I have ever given anyone an ultimatum like this in my life. But you have to realize that we cannot be just friends, it would hurt me to much to bare and I dont ever want to have to go through what I have again. I do hope there is a furture between us, because I still do love you more then anything in the world, but from what you told me from our earlier talks, its most likey not going to happen, unless you've had a change of heart.
She responded with
"I dont think you realized how much you hurt me."
...I know I don't. I'm just now realizing how much I've hurt myself. Crying myself to sleep every other night is just the beginning of it...
"But each day that goes by I think less and less, and the pain has started to wear off, not much, but a little."
Ditto, so understood. Except every so often (every other or every third day) I have a relapse and feel more pain in an hour than I did the rest of the whole day before.
"I probably wont sugar coat any answers/comments you get from me when we talk."
I think sugar-coating is a major part of the issue (particularly concerning me), but I'll get to that when we talk. I'm not interested in a "happy" conversation this time around anyways. I just need to get things out and said, talked over, etc, regardless of how nice/not so nice they sound.
I understand the ultimatum. Completely. And I can't say anything about the change of heart, as I am so very upset/confused that I can't think completely straight...I've been thinking in circles lately.
I work my til 4:30pm on Friday, 9am-2pm on Saturday, and not at all on Sunday.
I removed her from my friends list the day after our last "talk", she sent me friends requests a couple of days ago and my dumba$$ accepted them.
Being the complete AFC that I was when I responded to the message, I told her that I was going to be in town to have dinner with my mom (which is true, just wish I didnt tell her that now) this weekend anyway and we could talk then.
Im basically asking you guys for advise on what to do about this.
I figured I have two options.
A) She claims she misses me, but in the message she says "I'm not interested in a "happy" conversation this time around anyways. I just need to get things out and said, talked over, etc, regardless of how nice/not so nice they sound." ......Which basiaclly tells me shes hiding something from me
So what I was thinking about doing was agreeing to talk to her somewhere, and tell her im not here to play games and tell her im tired of dealing with this sh*t and the emotional crap ends here....Basically tell her im not here to be her emotional tampon
or
B) Tell her I changed my mind and I dont want to meet up and talk. Tell her I wont read or respond any e-mails she sends me and if she wants to talk she can come up to Gainesville.....Basically make her miss me more and force her to come to me.
I know I've made complete AFC mistakes during this dialog and I ignored advice from the previous thread. But I wont be making that same mistake twice. I am open to any suggestions or comments, but I need them before
2 PM (EST) Saturday. Just keep in mind I am still interested in being with her, but theres no way in hell im going to hurt myself again over this. Maybe some of you older guys on here can relate to that, I donno.