"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Escaping ljbf

FindingMyOwnPath

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I just been ljbf by a girl. She's a small super-shy (stare at a corner away while looking tense shy) computer science girl who never had a boyfriend. To be honest, while a red flag, she doesn't have any close friends either.

Despite that, or maybe because, I still want and don't want to cut my losses. A google search shows that it is not impossible. One particular post I read had described a shy girl who never had a boyfriend was able to change it by game, re-framing, and kino.

Still, I don't know if I can pull if off. Most would say to cut losses and rationally I agree. I'm not irrational enough to pedestalize her and keep chasing hopelessly thinking of giving up as no an option and I know I over-invested in her. Maybe it's the challenge (or maybe I'm pedestalizing and rationalizing that it's the challenge, at least saying that sounds more dignified), but I don't want to just cut my losses.

Most ljbf stories tend to more normal girls, and that usually mean giving up is the best course. It doesn't mean it doesn't apply to her, giving up is still probably the best, but recalibration to types of girls do matter, perhaps I can still break through by calibrating my game to her shy personality and inexperience. Maybe I'm just thinking false hope, but that's why I'm posting today to see.

Anyone want to offer any experiences or ideas?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Gangster Of Love

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Why do you even want to keep pursuing somebody who is not interested in you? Be honest. Is it because you think/know she's a virgin?
Are you looking to get in a LTR with her? If not, and you think she'a virgin, do you want to leave your permament mark? Do you want her to become attached to you, for ego purposes?
What are your motivations for this one?

If you do decide to pursue, it will take you SO LONG to get her to warm up and do a 180 turn that you'd be better off chasing 2-3 other virgins who haven't already LJBF'd you a$s.
 

FindingMyOwnPath

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The thought of my motivation have came a while ago, including the possibility that she is a virgin and getting her attached to me for my ego. It still doesn't negate that I still want to pursue. I don't think my motivation is just to bang a virgin, but people have delude to themselves bigger things. To be honest, an ltr does sound desirable, but I know enough that it is AFC and pedetalizing to think like that, she is suppose to earn it.

If I do decide to pursue, I do want to know if I can break through and the best approach. Just continuing to game her and chase others at the same time isn't satisfactory. I can't just approach her again as just acting like a friend. More dangerously, my judgment may get more compromise then already if I continue to pursue with little in return.
 

FindingMyOwnPath

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*bump*

I should take the pragmatic path and cut losses, but I don't want to give up. Anyone have any experiences in breaking out with minimal time and energy with a girl that shy and inexperienced?
 

Weezy

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You won't get the response your looking for on here.

If you've been LJBF it's game over. Any effort or energy you put forward from that point forward is in vain.. Your posting this question is in vain.

Read the DJ Bible, the answer is in there...

The only thing to do is move on, stop thinking about this chick.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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TheGunslinger

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FindingMyOwnPath said:
I should take the pragmatic path and cut losses, but I don't want to give up. Anyone have any experiences in breaking out with minimal time and energy with a girl that shy and inexperienced?
If you know what you should be doing, then why the hell aren't you doing it? Why are you sitting here claiming that you know what to do logically, yet you do the exact opposite? You sound like a woman.

Think about it. If this girl really liked you sexually, why has she ljbf'd you? Why isn't she begging for you to take her back? Why is there no effort on her part?

Either she's not into you or she's truly clueless socially.

If it's the former, move on. There are better people worth your attention and who will appreciate you.

If it's the latter, who cares? This isn't Hollywood. You aren't some sort of guardian angel who's going to come along, change her life forever and together become the King and Queen of prom. If you do make a difference, she's probably going to see what a sap you've been wasting your valuable time and energy building her up and dump you for someone with balls. I'm just sayin'.

You're a man. You can see the logical and correct course of action right in front of your eyes.

Take it and go find someone who will appreciate your time.
 

tsmith2334

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How did you get LJBF'd?

Let's start there. What did she say?
 

tafakna

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FindingMyOwnPath said:
Despite that, or maybe because, I still want and don't want to cut my losses. A google search shows that it is not impossible. One particular post I read had described a shy girl who never had a boyfriend was able to change it by game, re-framing, and kino.

Anyone want to offer any experiences or ideas?
I for one think that LJBF is not the end. People gravitate between FREEDOM and FINDING SOMEONE. It just may happen that you'll need to take things much slower for her not to feel like you're invading her comfort zone.

But you give basically no useful information on your post. How long do you know her? How far did you take things? When did things fall apart? Etc... etc...
 

Maxtro

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In all my experiences getting LJBF might as well be a death sentence. Every single time I had tried to turn around a LJBF the friendship ended up getting destroyed and I never talked to her again.

Becoming friends with a girl is basically a game over. Unfortunately becoming her friend is 1,000 times easier then becoming her lover.
 
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