Crazybeachisgone
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2015
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My HPD story.
Well it all started 10 months ago when I started seeing a woman from work. We were both married so I’m part at fault. After 21 years my marriage had hit a bad spot and I felt unloved and unappreciated. I was the perfect white knight victim as I loved to help and nurture others at home and at work.
She appeared to be a sweet pretty blonde girl with a cute childish nature and clearly lacked in self esteem. In work I saw that she was a bit superficial and at times socially manipulative I witnessed her playing members of staff against each other to gain attention.
She flirted with both sexes and was very “cutie/sweetie” with the men especially. I can recall several occasions where I would be giving her tuition on the computer and she would look over my shoulder deliberately pressing her chest up against my back! She put a massive amount of effort into her looks and spent a fortune on make up.
Over the last few years we had several private conversations and I discovered that she had run up a large amount of debt that she kept hidden from her husband. Being a bit of a financial planner I helped her manage her debts and she eventually told her husband who had already bailed her out a few years ago. She was always complaining about her husband who worked long hours to keep her in her fancy new vehicles and child at private school. On the other hand she told everyone she was “low maintenance and easy to keep.” Sense of entitlement
She had a really affinity for alcohol and drank most nights even when she had to work the next day. When she went to the works outings she wore revealing tops and left her poor husband in the corner whilst she made a scene on the dance floor whilst very drunk.
In an open office one day we had a conversation about sex and she told me that “making love” was crude and that she “only ****ed.” Objectification
She constantly acted like a child at times and even confessed to buying a Furbie which she actually talked too!!(BAAAAATTTTSHHHIIIT) for her birthday. She clearly loved attention from any kind of source even negative. I can recall her expecting special treatment after once such dispute where she fell out with some contractors. Despite her causing the problem she would never admit to wrong doing. I have never heard her apologise.
Her moods varied from day to day often to extremes and her energy levels would be as unpredictable as the wind. Conversations would always be focused on her problems, successes, new kitchen/car, child or whatever she wanted to discuss. She would be most put out if a third party interfered a conversation where she was centre stage.
We lift shared and occasionally text about work and very basic personal stuff. It was actually on my birthday when we were sat opposite each other and the provocative texts started. She knew it was my birthday and asked me what I would like. It was here that I first noticed the intense stare that she had. Was this the start of the hyperfocus? I sensed the excitement building and when she took me home in her car we kissed. She was the most intuitive passionate kisser I’d ever experienced.
After that night we met a couple of times for company, kiss and a cuddle. She then started to tell me about her husband and how he never paid her any attention. This was the start of the idealisation and she poured comments into me about my physical features. I found it odd but incredibly intoxicating she seemed fixated on me and I found her to be so alluring.
By now she was texting me all day every day, at first she appeared so genuine and interested in me. I was described as her “soul mate and perfect lover.” She said I was the man that she should have met many years ago and she should never have married her husband. Idealisation
The sexting then started and it was jaw dropping as I’d never experienced this before. She expressed every detail so graphically and I was lured in further. We had sex for the first time after this and she was so confident and sensual. I remember her reaction when I took my top off for the first time, she completely lost control of herself and it made me feel so good. (Objectification of me)She was very impulsive and just whispering certain words into her ear triggered a sexual frenzy. It was like she could not resist me as she now described her as “her addiction (supply).”
Then the first split came. She was having a stressful day in work as a result of a difficult decision that I made. I had text her that morning to just say hello and was met with a vitriolic barrage of abuse that resulted in me dumping her. I was shocked at her overreaction and received several vile texts. Splitting
She was getting very jealous of my wife and my other female friends. She would text me whenever she knew I was in the company of a female friend. She once admitted to spending two hours staring at a photo of me and my wife that she had placed on facebook.
A couple of weeks later she confided in me that she had a really bad childhood and that she was a seriously bad attention seeker in her teens. On one occasion she said that she had been raped by a drug addict at 15 years after she chased him for attention. She also was hospitalised with an eating disorder in her late teens. This was told in a typical dramatic style with much theatrics. She told me how many years ago she had had sexual encounters with other males whilst her husband watched and even joined in. Also admitted to a lesbian encounter.
She ignored me for a few days and I actually called her and apologised. After a few haughty texts we agreed to carry on our affair and we both admitted that we were now “emotionally involved.” She was desperate to be “mine” and the texts continued. We met for sex a few more times and I wanted more but she was now saying that her husband was becoming aware that she was emotionally absent and that she was struggling to perform in bed with him.
At this point she told me that she was sexting and had arranged to meet another man this time last year. Her husband intercepted the messages and actually met them confronting her. She said if she was in a relationship with me she would never cheat as I was all she would ever need.
Then came the demands, “fix my computer” “make me some cakes” “help me” “massage my poor aching body.” Me Me Me Me Me. It was like pouring affection into the proverbial leaking bucket.
Suddenly she stopped being so keen to meet up or if we did it was brief and rather impersonal. She called off several times and her texts became colder and less frequent. Classic push-pull as I’d then move away and a text asking me to “dominate her” would pop up!! She would always expect me to chase her.
At this point I decided that this relationship was pointless and that it had made me realise how much of a real woman my wife truly is. I called the whole thing off and was met with a massive barrage of abuse as I blocked her on Facebook. She begged me to remain friends and I once again agreed and the kissing started again. She was thrilled to be “mine” again. Fear of abandonment/loss of supply
“I can’t live without you”
She went away on holiday for a few weeks with her family and asked me not to text her as she couldn’t get phone reception where she was. Whilst she was away I noticed that she was still using facebook but couldn’t be bothered to even send a basic hello to me. Obviously getting her supply!!
Something twigged in me and I simply put “impulsive woman” into google and discovered that worlds of both HPD and BPD. Everything fell into place and thanks to the wonderful HPD’s/NONS on this forum I now understand what she is. It’s not her fault but it’s also not my responsibility. I felt for this girl but thank f**K I didn’t get dragged into her clutches of the trap of the fan club. I refused to be a fan and I’m damn proud of what I did.
Despite what I now suspected I actually missed contacting her and I think I was addicted to her. It was very intense when re reunited and I then felt like I actually had fallen in love with this woman. I told her one day and she said she loved me back after I had told her a few times. After this she decided suddenly to “concentrate on her marriage.” She became very distant but always wanted to be a “friend.”
She then tried hitting it off on facebook with a car salesman who she idealised with comments after he sold her a new car. God she is soooooooo f***ing stupid!!!!
Then she befriended my brother and the sexual innuendos started with him.
I bought gifts, gave her time, showered her with kindness and affection. I helped her whenever i could.
In 10 months she bought me a bag of crisps and told me I had a fit body..............
Sucker...........
I completely disowned her three weeks ago but still have to see her in work. She is blocked on facebook and I have deleted all numbers. Most of the time I am barely civil to her and every day there is always some sort of drama in her life. I smile every time she tells her tales of excitement or woe with her childish manner.
She doesn’t even appear to know what personality disorders are. I had a conversation about HPD with one of our medical staff in front of her and she didn’t bat an eyelid.
She still creates chaos where ever she treads, leaves a trail of crap, broken promises. Her husband has stress related illnesses at just 39 years old and is losing his sight in one eye which she blames on his job.
I had no idea about this from the start and can honestly say that this is the worst thing i have done in my life. Even thought we went undiscovered I have let everyone down and I cry with guilt for my wife and three kids. I have to tell this story to open the eyes of others
She is a manipulating, controlling ,jealous and fully aware of what she is doing. That much is very clear!!
Stay very clear and run a mile like everyone tells you............
Well it all started 10 months ago when I started seeing a woman from work. We were both married so I’m part at fault. After 21 years my marriage had hit a bad spot and I felt unloved and unappreciated. I was the perfect white knight victim as I loved to help and nurture others at home and at work.
She appeared to be a sweet pretty blonde girl with a cute childish nature and clearly lacked in self esteem. In work I saw that she was a bit superficial and at times socially manipulative I witnessed her playing members of staff against each other to gain attention.
She flirted with both sexes and was very “cutie/sweetie” with the men especially. I can recall several occasions where I would be giving her tuition on the computer and she would look over my shoulder deliberately pressing her chest up against my back! She put a massive amount of effort into her looks and spent a fortune on make up.
Over the last few years we had several private conversations and I discovered that she had run up a large amount of debt that she kept hidden from her husband. Being a bit of a financial planner I helped her manage her debts and she eventually told her husband who had already bailed her out a few years ago. She was always complaining about her husband who worked long hours to keep her in her fancy new vehicles and child at private school. On the other hand she told everyone she was “low maintenance and easy to keep.” Sense of entitlement
She had a really affinity for alcohol and drank most nights even when she had to work the next day. When she went to the works outings she wore revealing tops and left her poor husband in the corner whilst she made a scene on the dance floor whilst very drunk.
In an open office one day we had a conversation about sex and she told me that “making love” was crude and that she “only ****ed.” Objectification
She constantly acted like a child at times and even confessed to buying a Furbie which she actually talked too!!(BAAAAATTTTSHHHIIIT) for her birthday. She clearly loved attention from any kind of source even negative. I can recall her expecting special treatment after once such dispute where she fell out with some contractors. Despite her causing the problem she would never admit to wrong doing. I have never heard her apologise.
Her moods varied from day to day often to extremes and her energy levels would be as unpredictable as the wind. Conversations would always be focused on her problems, successes, new kitchen/car, child or whatever she wanted to discuss. She would be most put out if a third party interfered a conversation where she was centre stage.
We lift shared and occasionally text about work and very basic personal stuff. It was actually on my birthday when we were sat opposite each other and the provocative texts started. She knew it was my birthday and asked me what I would like. It was here that I first noticed the intense stare that she had. Was this the start of the hyperfocus? I sensed the excitement building and when she took me home in her car we kissed. She was the most intuitive passionate kisser I’d ever experienced.
After that night we met a couple of times for company, kiss and a cuddle. She then started to tell me about her husband and how he never paid her any attention. This was the start of the idealisation and she poured comments into me about my physical features. I found it odd but incredibly intoxicating she seemed fixated on me and I found her to be so alluring.
By now she was texting me all day every day, at first she appeared so genuine and interested in me. I was described as her “soul mate and perfect lover.” She said I was the man that she should have met many years ago and she should never have married her husband. Idealisation
The sexting then started and it was jaw dropping as I’d never experienced this before. She expressed every detail so graphically and I was lured in further. We had sex for the first time after this and she was so confident and sensual. I remember her reaction when I took my top off for the first time, she completely lost control of herself and it made me feel so good. (Objectification of me)She was very impulsive and just whispering certain words into her ear triggered a sexual frenzy. It was like she could not resist me as she now described her as “her addiction (supply).”
Then the first split came. She was having a stressful day in work as a result of a difficult decision that I made. I had text her that morning to just say hello and was met with a vitriolic barrage of abuse that resulted in me dumping her. I was shocked at her overreaction and received several vile texts. Splitting
She was getting very jealous of my wife and my other female friends. She would text me whenever she knew I was in the company of a female friend. She once admitted to spending two hours staring at a photo of me and my wife that she had placed on facebook.
A couple of weeks later she confided in me that she had a really bad childhood and that she was a seriously bad attention seeker in her teens. On one occasion she said that she had been raped by a drug addict at 15 years after she chased him for attention. She also was hospitalised with an eating disorder in her late teens. This was told in a typical dramatic style with much theatrics. She told me how many years ago she had had sexual encounters with other males whilst her husband watched and even joined in. Also admitted to a lesbian encounter.
She ignored me for a few days and I actually called her and apologised. After a few haughty texts we agreed to carry on our affair and we both admitted that we were now “emotionally involved.” She was desperate to be “mine” and the texts continued. We met for sex a few more times and I wanted more but she was now saying that her husband was becoming aware that she was emotionally absent and that she was struggling to perform in bed with him.
At this point she told me that she was sexting and had arranged to meet another man this time last year. Her husband intercepted the messages and actually met them confronting her. She said if she was in a relationship with me she would never cheat as I was all she would ever need.
Then came the demands, “fix my computer” “make me some cakes” “help me” “massage my poor aching body.” Me Me Me Me Me. It was like pouring affection into the proverbial leaking bucket.
Suddenly she stopped being so keen to meet up or if we did it was brief and rather impersonal. She called off several times and her texts became colder and less frequent. Classic push-pull as I’d then move away and a text asking me to “dominate her” would pop up!! She would always expect me to chase her.
At this point I decided that this relationship was pointless and that it had made me realise how much of a real woman my wife truly is. I called the whole thing off and was met with a massive barrage of abuse as I blocked her on Facebook. She begged me to remain friends and I once again agreed and the kissing started again. She was thrilled to be “mine” again. Fear of abandonment/loss of supply
“I can’t live without you”
She went away on holiday for a few weeks with her family and asked me not to text her as she couldn’t get phone reception where she was. Whilst she was away I noticed that she was still using facebook but couldn’t be bothered to even send a basic hello to me. Obviously getting her supply!!
Something twigged in me and I simply put “impulsive woman” into google and discovered that worlds of both HPD and BPD. Everything fell into place and thanks to the wonderful HPD’s/NONS on this forum I now understand what she is. It’s not her fault but it’s also not my responsibility. I felt for this girl but thank f**K I didn’t get dragged into her clutches of the trap of the fan club. I refused to be a fan and I’m damn proud of what I did.
Despite what I now suspected I actually missed contacting her and I think I was addicted to her. It was very intense when re reunited and I then felt like I actually had fallen in love with this woman. I told her one day and she said she loved me back after I had told her a few times. After this she decided suddenly to “concentrate on her marriage.” She became very distant but always wanted to be a “friend.”
She then tried hitting it off on facebook with a car salesman who she idealised with comments after he sold her a new car. God she is soooooooo f***ing stupid!!!!
Then she befriended my brother and the sexual innuendos started with him.
I bought gifts, gave her time, showered her with kindness and affection. I helped her whenever i could.
In 10 months she bought me a bag of crisps and told me I had a fit body..............
Sucker...........
I completely disowned her three weeks ago but still have to see her in work. She is blocked on facebook and I have deleted all numbers. Most of the time I am barely civil to her and every day there is always some sort of drama in her life. I smile every time she tells her tales of excitement or woe with her childish manner.
She doesn’t even appear to know what personality disorders are. I had a conversation about HPD with one of our medical staff in front of her and she didn’t bat an eyelid.
She still creates chaos where ever she treads, leaves a trail of crap, broken promises. Her husband has stress related illnesses at just 39 years old and is losing his sight in one eye which she blames on his job.
I had no idea about this from the start and can honestly say that this is the worst thing i have done in my life. Even thought we went undiscovered I have let everyone down and I cry with guilt for my wife and three kids. I have to tell this story to open the eyes of others
She is a manipulating, controlling ,jealous and fully aware of what she is doing. That much is very clear!!
Stay very clear and run a mile like everyone tells you............
