You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
The fact that you are talking to your good guy friends about why girls don't like you means you are emotionally involved. They haven't even done anything to you and have got you thinking about them. That is POWER.The LadyKiller said:
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Haha true.Zerro said:
This mirrors my experiences pretty closely, don't expect these girls to ever extend an olive branch. Besides, they probably already have boyfriends outside of work, they just don't mention them as they want to keep some male coworkers around as orbiters.The LadyKiller said:I waited about a month before updating so there would be time to see any possible effects of "embracing the hate." As you guys suggested, I remained kind/civil to the girls I work with, but would not go out of my way to initiate anything or react to anyone's "hate." Well, when it came to me and girls at work...
From a pure work standpoint, I have this down to a T. One of my newer shifts requires overseeing fellow peers - some of which are HB's (same position, but who have been here for a shorter time). I rarely run into any conflicts. The closest came a few weeks ago...a HB decided to talk to some guy orbiters instead of do her work; I shut her out the rest of the day (not anything blunt, but I gave people who wanted to work the prime assignments while she toiled with basic things.) The next shift, she was a model worker. I'm fair, but I think they know that I don't tolerate BS and any antics they try won't affect me or the workflow. To put it briefly, girls don't even attempt irritating the buzzsaw that is The LadyKiller's work efficiency.
From a personal standpoint, not so much. Ok, nothing bad happened. But...nothing has happened. Still some icy stares. Still girls keeping the conversations brief/professional. Nothing has changed. Last week, a couple of my friends asked if I was going to "the party." I had no idea what they were talking about. They said a couple girls we know were celebrating their birthdays and e-mailed a bunch of people seeing who was around to celebrate. Conveniently, the e-mail list included my friends (the ones the girls know) but not me. Now, I couldn't go anyway due to a late shift at work, but I think the point here is clear - things are going nowhere socially. For these girls, small talk is fine, but elevating to medium talk is a no-no.
While I am "embracing the hate" and not letting it affect my demeanor or performance, it'd be nice for these girls to open up socially, even a little bit.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
In my company the cliques appear to form around project teams, of lot of which will be together for a year or more at a time. Even once that project is over and the team members are reassigned you'll still see the girls only hanging with the people they were working with when they first started. It's like they don't even want to try to make new friends outside that original group, even when reassigned they'll still only go to lunch with their old teammates and such.Mike32ct said:
The funny thing is that most of these girls at my workplace aren't that hot to begin with, they're just "work hot" to these guys because they have a captive audience for 8 hours with no one better to be compared against. We used to all go out to a Tilted Kilt sort of place (not as slutty with the uniforms but the waitresses are all at a rather high standard of hotness) for drinks after work rather frequently but that venue is being used less and less as more women have joined the department. I wouldn't be surprised if they were the ones pushing for a new venue as you'll notice that if they come along they'll get vastly less attention from the guys once they are being served by actual hot girls.Mike32ct said:
I've pretty much stopped bothering to invite any of the women along to lunch with me and the guys, it's been months since the last time any accepted anyhow. This last time I invited the guys out to that tavern I mentioned above and even specified "no girls allowed."Mike32ct said: