email from older chick, your thoughts

[bman]

"well i normally dont bring someone home to my house the first time I meet them. Im not into one night stands if that might be what your looking for. I forgot to ask what it is your looking for anyways. ?? I realize there is a age diff so I dont have a problem with seeing someone unattached but I dont do
one nighters."

i suggested we could go eat and watch a movie at her place. i try to be straight to the point without being too blunt. what would you guys say or think about this email?

 

[Quick]

It depends. Are you looking for a one night stand? Are you attached? Are you willing to get in a relationship with her? I would take her email at face value. She's willing to explore a relationship with you, but doesn't want a one night stand. Not that big a deal. So you can sleep with her after 3 dates instead. I would send an email back like this:

"Dang, woman. I know that seeing me makes you think of sex immediately, but slow down. There's more to life than that. I think we should at least get to know each other better before we start discussing favorite positions and what not. What I suggest is that for now we just eat dinner and watch a movie. I understand if you don't want anyone to see the skeletons in your closet right away, so you can come over my place or we can go to a theatre instead."

Basically, I would joke about it, but still subtly let her know that while sex can be postponed, it can't be taken off of the table altogether. Actually I'd probably call her and say something to that effect, because emails with sarcasm have caused me a lot of problems in the past.

 

[bman]

good idea. i said something along those lines... heres her response:

"ok. well im not forcing anyone into a relationship either and a casual relationship/friendship is ok too but Im just not a one nite stand type is all. maybe a restaurant then if you want to hang out aft or play pool? or Just talk and get to know each other? does that sound ok?"

sounds to me like shes got it in her head that she would be a total slut if she had a ONS, but i think if i play it cool on the date i will be able to get with her a few dates late. i more want something along the lines of a **** buddy.

 

[Demon]

If she doesn't want to be an fbuddy, don't force it on her, but her response "im not forcing anyone into a relationship either and a casual relationship/friendship" sounds like fbuddy to me. Go for it. Treat her like a "friend", take her out to lunch, etc. Build a relationship. The future is unknown. You might end up with an fbuddy or you'll change your mind and really like this girl and end up with an LTR. Either way is good.

 

[Quick]

"casual relationship/friendship"

Sounds like she isn't ruling out the possibility of being a fbuddy. Go for it, and see where it ends up. It sounds like our society and bad experiences has done it's work on her. F**ing on the first date is wrong, but being bangbuddies is fine. Make sure to not push for sex on the first date. Don't even joke about it, because she obviously has some hangups and will probably misinterpret it. Use kino, focus on having a lot of fun, and be sexual (closeness, look in her eyes, bedroom voice). It would probably work great if you're the one to call the end to the date and you didn't extend the goodbyes. A quick kiss, then walk away. She'll probably feel much more comfortable after that.

 

[TheCloser]

cougars usually say one thing but do another...go out to eat and get all her walls down. She obviously has been burnt by a one nighter before. Chances are if you play it right, you'll end up at her place...dont' force the issue though.