If there is one lesson I've learned during all of my moves through 12 states over a 12 year period, it's that we only have a certain capacity for stress. Once that is maxed out, we start overreacting to things that otherwise would have been shrugged off. At the time it's impossible for us to know what is happening, we are essentially in a temporary state of insanity, similar to the way you react during an emergency when adrenaline and instinct take over, and later you remember things vividly as if they happened in slow motion.
My best guy friend is in the middle of a breakup and a move. I know he loves me because he's one of the few guys who tells me that (love thy brother). He's the type you can trust with $1000 loan. Anyhow yesterday he sent a few accidental texts, then was late, then denied ever making plans, then didn't know how to give instructions, got cranky, got overly emotional, got his feelings hurt by my asking why he sent 7 straight texts, then dumped me in the parking lot where we met for a beer and stormed off!
This is precisely what happened with my last girlfriend during her move and divorce. Almost to a tee. Someone who loves me suddenly being unpredictable and erratic and angry and then ending things overnight. I sort of expected it from her, and told myself I wouldn't let her make me push her away, but these situations don't unfold in a way where third parties know what is going on. They just think we're crazy.
When I was moving (which always meant changing jobs and women also) I remember screaming at my mom on the phone - and I realized it was because in that situation we can only push the people who love us or they will leave us forever, so we often do.
This also is what happens during a breakup. It causes us stress so we can only handle so much before we become emotional and act weak and needy.
So always remember this when you are dealing with people or moves, and manage the total stress load.
My best guy friend is in the middle of a breakup and a move. I know he loves me because he's one of the few guys who tells me that (love thy brother). He's the type you can trust with $1000 loan. Anyhow yesterday he sent a few accidental texts, then was late, then denied ever making plans, then didn't know how to give instructions, got cranky, got overly emotional, got his feelings hurt by my asking why he sent 7 straight texts, then dumped me in the parking lot where we met for a beer and stormed off!
This is precisely what happened with my last girlfriend during her move and divorce. Almost to a tee. Someone who loves me suddenly being unpredictable and erratic and angry and then ending things overnight. I sort of expected it from her, and told myself I wouldn't let her make me push her away, but these situations don't unfold in a way where third parties know what is going on. They just think we're crazy.
When I was moving (which always meant changing jobs and women also) I remember screaming at my mom on the phone - and I realized it was because in that situation we can only push the people who love us or they will leave us forever, so we often do.
This also is what happens during a breakup. It causes us stress so we can only handle so much before we become emotional and act weak and needy.
So always remember this when you are dealing with people or moves, and manage the total stress load.
