"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Drunk = No Consequences?

Abcd

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I'm a freshman in college. There's a pretty cute girl that I'd like to bag for the summer. She may be interested, she may not. Problem is, we have lots of mutual friends, and if I make a pass and fail, it will be awkward.

My proposed solution: I have a formal dance coming up for my frat in a couple weeks. What if I invite her "for fun," get a little bit too tipsy at the after-party (there will be hot tubs involved I think) so that I can just try to kiss her and see what happens. If she likes it, I'm in. If not, I go find another piece of ass and we can tell our friends I was drunk.

This kinda seems like the perfect solution to me, but I know there are probably problems with it that I'm not considering - please point them out and advise.

Ab
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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blienk

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I see the reasoning behind your plan, but why sell yourself short like that? You're really thinking:

1. I don't think my game is good enough to get this girl.
2. I'll get drunk and then make my move.
3. If she doesn't like it, I'll use drunkness as my excuse.

You need to have more confidence in your ability to get this girl. Alcohol always makes things easier (and is a common element in college relationships) but you don't want to get too much in the habit of relying on it.

I think a better plan is to go through the evening AS IF you were going to be sober the whole time, even if you're not. Get some good conversation with her during the formal, gradually escalate the kino, and then after you've had a few drinks at the afterparty, go for the kiss. Do it the same as you would on a normal date, not any kind of crazy drunken attempt. The key is to use the alcohol as a subtle aid, not an excuse or reason for your actions.
 

E-Z Rider

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Well your plan would work, as far as leaving you without any sort of real blame.

But I'm pretty sure just doing it in a normal way wouldn't be that bad either, really. If she accepts, you're cool obviously. If she rejects, then it's all in how you handle it. Worst case, people might talk for a while, but it will be forgotten in no time.

So b/c of that, I would do whatever you think gives you the best chance of success with HER, and not what makes you look 'better' in the eyes of your peers (which I think you're most likely overrestimating anyway).

Good luck- -E-Z
 

white_hype

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1- girls cream over formals... and you say afterparty? HOT TUBS?!?!? should be considered DONE

2- if you get rejected, who cares? if they are your friends they wont care, they may give you a little sh1t but no one will give a sh1t, this is college not high school... and if they do what do you care?

3-your formal is in a few weeks? you should easily find a girl by then if u dont want to take this one
 

Abcd

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Welllll thanks for the advice guys, and it all makes sense. But it's a moot point now. I went out with her and our friends last night because it was my other friend's birthday. I didn't plan this at all, but I got DRUNK off my ass (I've only been drunk once before in my life). We went out to a bar, there was some dancing, and then it was all over. We were making out for like 2 hours, in the bar and then back in her room (which is a single!!!) while our friends tried to stay away from us. Man, I was drunk.

Anyway, I made it clear to her that it wasn't just a drunk hookup and that I'd see her tonight so we could figure things out.

Any advice people? Basically I'm not looking for marriage, just a good person to hang out with this summer for beach, concerts (PS anybody going to Bonnaroo?), and sex hopefully (though she's a virgin.. nice, but uh-oh).

It's 10 AM and I'm supposed to go to a 12 o'clock class, not feeling so good....
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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