don't know what to do with this past oneitis

[xectxny19x]

i had the biggest oneitis on this girl a few years ago before i found SS. basically, i'd always email her the moment she emailed me whereas she'd wait weeks. my only redeeming quality was that i never made time for her if i had to study or work. i would think about it, but i never made the time.

one day she tells me about this dude she likes and that they're friends now but maybe later they could be more. anyway, being AFC that i was, i walked out on her. i texted her 3 times since to wish her a happy holidays and have a great break. she never text back. :nervous:

so now years later, we happen to bump into each other. she happens to be very active in one of the social circles i belong to. she asks about hanging out 1-1, but i always bring people along. when she asks about getting together, i always make sure it's with other people. i don't want to fall for the girl again. :crazy: :nono:

last night, we were supposed to get together with a bunch of friends for fireworks. girl lied to me. :cuss: no one else was there. then she proceeds to ask me if i'm avoiding her which i decline. so she tells me we should hang out alone sometime. i say "sure."

and then she tells me she likes me. :nervous: i stay quiet for a while, b/c i've been burned by this girl before. after a long time, she asks if i'm going to stay quiet. i asked her when she started liking me.

she tells me she liked me a long time ago. i told her i have to think about it.

i still like her, but i don't trust her.

so i'm thinking we'll still hang out, maybe go out 1-1 (is it safe?!!!), but i'm going to continue seeing other girls. if we're in a group together, i'm still going to be teasing girls and such.

if she has a problem with it, then i'm going to have to let her walk, b/c i don't trust her enough for her to be my exclusive gf.

any thoughts on this?

 

[Kal0051]

well, I think your right to be suspicious of her actions. But then again look what happened. You ignore her and don't seem interested and she gets interested and lies to get alone with you. I say hang out with her but keep at a distance. This will do 2 things: 1) will probably keep her chasing you and 2) keep your feelings from being hurt again. But it's your choice, if you don't feel like you can be around her alone then don't.

 

[xectxny19x]

thanks. :rockon:

i don't feel like i can control myself being alone with her. eventually, i might just fall for her again.

plus, her actions are suspicious. :nervous: she'll just go be disinterested again the moment i show interest.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Say "If you really like me, prove it by going out with me to *place* on *day*."

You gotta know what you want to do with her, make plans right away, then if she follows through, validate her for telling the truth.

"Hey I've thought about what you said to me and I really like that you're a truthful person by telling me you like me."

Thats just an example, it's Push and Pull.
You have to validate her though, I just learned this a day ago. You gotta thank her for coming and let her know that she's proven to you that she likes you.