"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Dog Fvcker

taiyuu_otoko

Master Don Juan
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I guess when you gotta bust a nut, you gotta bust a nut...

http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2018/02/21/pittsburgh-lawyer-charged-with-dog-sex-abuse/

PITTSBURGH (KDKA) – A prominent Pittsburgh attorney has been charged with dozens of counts of sexually abusing his dog.

According to a police report, witnesses say they heard Ivan DeVoren engaging in sexual activities with his dog, Snoopy, on several different occasions.

Witnesses described hearing sex sounds coming from DeVoren’s apartment on numerous occasions.

They kept records of the alleged incidents, including sounds of a dog whimpering, creaking furniture and inappropriate language.

Police took custody of the yellow Labrador retriever and transported it to a local veterinary hospital.



Veterinarians told police they found signs consistent with sexual abuse.

DeVoren is facing ten felony counts of aggravated cruelty to an animal, as well as ten counts of sexual intercourse with an animal.

Detectives say when they searched DeVoren’s apartment they also found numerous drugs, including crack cocaine, heroin, and marijuana.

DeVoren is also facing possession charges for the drugs.

The Humane Animal Rescue says DeVoren was a volunteer there back in 2014. They say he was a dog walker for a few months, but was never alone with any of the animals.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
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He'll do his time in the chomo ward with the other sex offenders. Let that guy mingle with the general population in prison and he'd be dead very quickly.
 
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