Does this make me a wimp?

[rhcp83]

I'm too afraid to open random women when I see them...at least at a place like a bar/restaurant/mall etc. . If there's something pre-existing, where it just seems like I'm making a convo with them and it isn't obvious I'm hitting on them, I can do that fine...don't stutter or get nervous etc. but I can't just blindly walk up to them.

What's funny is I was down south a couple years ago on vacation and was able to walk up to random women, regardless of how attractive they were, some even smoking hot, like much hotter than the ones I see around locally...and talk to them like I've known them my whole life...but those areas were also party type areas...areas full of attractive, friendly women with no ***** shields.

I've never successfully went up to a girl locally and had a good convo out of it (without pretext) and when I see a girl I want to talk to locally, I feel like I'm 15 again and someone who's never even been on a date.

Is this just me being smart and staying away from random cold women, or can it be done if you're an average looking guy in a not so friendly environment? (anytown USA)

 

[joverby]

It's only as big of a deal as you make it. And that's going to show in your interactions with the girls.(Nervousness etc.) But that's okay. The reason you feel this way(most likely) is due to inexperience. You don't sound experienced at all.

Not sure why it was different for you to do it at vacation as opposed to being local. But that's most definitely in your head. So maybe pretend like your from out of town when approaching?(Not suggesting lying, only to yourself)

It's all in your head, man. I can approach girls at the bar all day long, what I say varys and is in the spur of the moment. But you just have to put yourself out there and do it. It gets easier the more you practice, just like everything else.

 

[rhcp83]

Most attractive 20somethings I see locally (I live in a small town near other small towns) are with "big" guys...even if they aren't muscular...they are the big, wide, teddybear or intimidating type. I guess I feel like I can't compete with that or assume when I see a woman, that's what she wants since there's less competition for her in a small town than there would be in a hot climate spot or big city.

 

[L B]

A simple way to success is to play on your strengths. You like to mack on girls where no one knows you and there are no consequences. Drive an hour or two to the next big town and work on your small talk skills. Open up to strangers to your hearts content. Once you're comfortable, move to a closer location, eventually make your way to your home base. By now, you should have all the confidence you need and be skillful enough to hit on girls that are worth your time and be rejected less and be less offended by rejection.

 

[rhcp83]

My brother goes to college for photography, and ever since he started going on shoots, it's opened up doors for meeting women for him. They see he's legit, not some douchebag with a one time use Kodak camera or some guy with creepy motives...and they gladly not only pose for his pictures, but it leads to conversation and he usually number or fb closes.

In fact, one girl was working at one of those stands at the mall and joked that she wanted him to take modeling shots of her. Next thing you know, he has her fb and number.

It's like a prop/conversation starter.

In other words...if you just cold approach a girl, and "throw game" at her (I'm talking day game, not bar/club game...I know nothing about that)...that's the kind of stuff most women avoid (there was a conversation on here about social circles and the comfort women get from them and how it helps them weed out "pick up artists" and such)...but if you have a REASON to talk to them, not just "Hey I saw you and am going to throw some game at you" it seems in my experience and from watching my brother and other people, that it works a lot better.

I've seen him just blindly hit on waitresses and try to number close and get rejected...but then a girl just as good looking or better will be on the go, or just out and about and happen to start convo with them for whatever reason, and women seem to respond much better to that.