Does rapport and build-up ever get just thrown away?

[omgwtfm8]

It's been 4 weeks since me and HB9.0 met. We have have been on 2 dates, partied 3 times, slept over/cuddle 2 times. Most importantly, the last time i saw her, we were just starting to kiss goodbye.

When we're together it's non-stop smiles, laughing good-times. We never talked about feelings, or what we are pursuing. I was hoping I'd get her to spill some feelings on this Friday's date.

But recently we've been getting tied up with other things and I haven't seen her in a week. Tuesday I was told her I might stop by, but I didn't. Thursday night I didn't want to see her when she hit me up. Then we had plans for Friday for something special/date, and she kinda blamed the bad weather and she was tired so she said she was staying in that night, got me confused and I kinda gave her the indifferent side of me.

I am getting that feeling that it's fading, and I feel like i just want to see her. We don't have any future plans of meetings. I'm not sure what to tell her. It's been real chill, taking things very slow and I don't want to come out and be like, "I miss you!" or anything needy.

I don't understand how she went from seeing me 2-3 times in the past 3-4 weeks to not seeing me all this week, and she hasn't said anything like "I miss you" etc.

Frustrated, but I don't know how she's so chill about things. Kiss goodbye's mean something, right?

 

[omgwtfm8]

bump?

 

[Docs]

Rapport never dies. What is rapport? It's everything she EXPERIENCED with you, and what she KNOWS about you (and vice-versa).

The human mind is an interesting tool indeed.

Get her out again, and recreate those good times (and also some new times). Rapport, it never dies. It can be ignored and shunned, but it can never of happened.

 

[Obsidian]

if you blew her off twice in a row (when she didn't ever disrespect you), that's kind of lame.

But you can most likely rekindle things without being chumpish. Just go do it.

 

[Kings_royalty]

It's been 4 weeks since me and HB9.0 met. We have have been on 2 dates, partied 3 times, slept over/cuddle 2 times. Most importantly, the last time i saw her, we were just starting to kiss goodbye.

This isn't a good start. You started kissing her 'after' 2 dates and 3 parties, and then...it was only a kiss goodbye when it happened. You should have been kissing her from the beginning, or at the very least when you were cuddling with her.

When we're together it's non-stop smiles, laughing good-times. We never talked about feelings, or what we are pursuing. I was hoping I'd get her to spill some feelings on this Friday's date.

If a girl feels anything for you, she will show you with her eyes and body language, you won't have to wait for her to 'express' her feelings. Unless of course she WAS showing you, but you didn't pay attention.

Then we had plans for Friday for something special/date, and she kinda blamed the bad weather and she was tired so she said she was staying in that night, got me confused

There shouldn't be any confusion; you haven't done enough to raise her IL.

I am getting that feeling that it's fading, and I feel like i just want to see her.

There can't be any fading because nothing was established (it was all in your mind). It looks like you had her attention, but you let it slip.

I don't understand how she went from seeing me 2-3 times in the past 3-4 weeks to not seeing me all this week, and she hasn't said anything like "I miss you" etc.

I'm not surprised bro. I'm shocked that you even got a kiss from her...she must have really been reaching out.

What you need to do is disappear for a while, give things time to relax and fade a bit. Then...once you have gotten all that weak behavior out of your system, start things off again, but do the RIGHT things this time.

 

[Jon55]

It's all good man. It sounds like yeah you started off kind of slow, blew her off a few times, but that's ok. Just give her a ring back up. Nothings planned between you two? Make something happen. Just don't blow her off anymore

 

[Jay Jay]

You gotta get sexual!

 

[omgwtfm8]

I haven't talked to her for 4 days since I kinda sent her an indifferent message about not attending with me on Friday.

Should i contact her and be flirty like nothing happend and everything is peachy OR be like "My bad about friday night. It's not a big deal."

 

[ScrewIt]

Rapport never dies. What is rapport? It's everything she EXPERIENCED with you, and what she KNOWS about you (and vice-versa).

The human mind is an interesting tool indeed.

Get her out again, and recreate those good times (and also some new times). Rapport, it never dies. It can be ignored and shunned, but it can never of happened.

I agree, once you build rapport with a girl it's always there. That's why it's possible to rekindle...even if you dont see or talk to her for a few weeks or months.

But it also depends on how strong that rapport was to begin with, obviously this wont work with a girl you barely ever interact with.

Im in a similar boat right now, we semi blew each other off and im trying to make things work again. If it doesnt, ill just lay low for awhile and contact her once things things settle down.

NC has worked wonders for me in the past with girls. If a girl was and is intersted in you, laying low for awhile does work. Because when you do contact her it's a good sign + she might believe it's a rare opportunity for her....if she rejects you this time around she wont know if or when you'll ever contact her again.

 

[Docs]

Guess what I did at 3am? I wasn't tired (because I was on and off sleeping all day). I went to the grocery store to get food. It just so happened that one of the beauties was working.

What'd I do, I hit her up. Talked to her about how boring her shift is, sleeping, my work, and I asked her to walk me to the door. She says she'll get in trouble, and I just look around, bluntly noting that there's no one around and held out my hand. She took it (omg, naughty! ).

Point is, I sarge for my fun, and also to enlighten someone's day (or night). That was probably the most interesting thing that happened to her all night long, no one expects a night shift to be anything interesting, so thus, I have full attention and I controlled the outcome.

And you keep doing it. Re-establishing rapport, and building up on it. Eventually, you'll close.

But as I said, I do it for fun. I don't do it for the sole purpose of getting the number, that's a side bonus. There's a big difference between those who sarge to pick up, and those who sarge because they like to have fun and don't care about the outcome.

 

[omgwtfm8]

I am just frustrated now. I tried to make some chill contact. I did through a text out there just saying, "Hey you". She replied with "Hey". Then I asked, "Whatcha doin, Can I call?"

and no response, it was late at night. She's not big on texting and never has her phone on her and coulda just passed out for the night. She might just text me this morning.

But I'm frustrated. She jumped in my arms and kissed me goodbye the last time I saw her. But now we just seem to just not talk much at all. I threw down an opportunity to see her one night the other week, big mistake i guess.

It's been over a week since I've held a lengthy conversation with her or seen her. Should I worry?

Would it be wrong to just NEXT her verbally on the phone to see her reaction? I mean, I do have a lot of rapport with her, the only thing that can swindle her not wanting to see me is that she's juggling some other guys. I'm juggling more than one girl atm too but I like her the most. I mean, i could just get with the others, but she seems the challenge.

Help out plz.

 

[Kings_royalty]

Point is, I sarge for my fun, and also to enlighten someone's day (or night). That was probably the most interesting thing that happened to her all night long, no one expects a night shift to be anything interesting, so thus, I have full attention and I controlled the outcome.

Nice...

 

[Kings_royalty]

and no response, it was late at night. She's not big on texting and never has her phone on her and coulda just passed out for the night. She might just text me this morning.

Stop making excuses for her.


It's been over a week since I've held a lengthy conversation with her or seen her. Should I worry?

What are you worried about, are you going to stop breathing if she stops talking to you, is your world going to crash down on top of you? Hell no it's not, stop acting so freaking weak and forget her.

Would it be wrong to just NEXT her verbally on the phone to see her reaction? I mean, I do have a lot of rapport with her, the only thing that can swindle her not wanting to see me is that she's juggling some other guys. I'm juggling more than one girl atm too but I like her the most. I mean, i could just get with the others, but she seems the challenge.


No, don't verbally NEXT her, just do it. If she notices that you have stopped trying to contact her, she will come sniffing around looking for you. If she doesn't, it doesn't matter. RIGHT?

You need to forget this one and concentrate on the other girls you are juggling, if that is a true statement.

 

[omgwtfm8]

Tiny Update:

She contacted me. And eventually i said this, "I don't know why but I can't help myself, but I think about the time were real chill, just hanging out, Now I think I might just need to give you space, seems like you need it or something. Help me here IDK."

Then she told me how she didn't appreciate me getting mad at her when she wanted to chill a night.

I kinda apologized and was like look, what can I do? Catch up on dinner this week something? She agreed. Thought it would be good. But didn't pick a day. (this was yesterday)

I called her tonight, did a little phone talking, then eventually tried to see which day. Tried for Thursday, she's got practice, wing night, and busy that night with her girlfriends because it's the night before they all leave for home/Spring Break.

I didn't get the dinner/movie date confirmed. I kinda feel like this is getting old and fading, we can't seem to work anything out with our schedules. I get tired of askin her out. Nothings exciting, i'm stuck in a rut.

Do you think I can not see her for 3 weeks, run into all this unorganization, and still be cool with her when she gets back from break? Should I not call her at all during her break?

Last advice needed.

 

[Obsidian]

Definitely don't call her for any reason other than to set up a physical meeting. That includes Spring Break and any other time.