Does it pay to be patient? - Comments required

[The Dominated1]

Today I am going to write this post because I am frustrated about my situation and am hoping some of the points I make will start a discussion.

I have had LTRs in the past and the most recent one had cheated on me. I won’t go into details but let’s just say that I really was played like a fool, humiliated and hurt really bad. (might sound familiar to many of you)

Very soon after these events I had one or two women show some very high interest (even told me that she was interested but now has a boyfriend). However I was not interested because I had just had my heart ripped out by the root and I was not ready to trust any woman.

However time has very slowly eased that pain and I have been "available" for a while now (over a year). So after reading this site I would go and talk to girls build some very limited rapport and ask for the number. This would get me the number. But then I would ask for a date and the usual "I will have to call you back to confirm" or they would agree and then phone me an hour before and cancel etc.

So I figure going for the number in such an aggressive manner is not working and I have to build some more rapport first.

However here is the paradox. Most of the girls that I have more regular contact with have BFs. Others who are orbiting my social circle (circles) may be single when I first meet them but next week are not single anymore so I have had no time to build any rapport with them.

I have friends who say - "Hey I know this great looking chick who would definitely go for you, but she is moving to overseas next week"

A girl who is making it clear she wants to do the wild thing with me. Just happens to be my best friends ex (he still has a thing for her incidentally). So I can’t go there

I even went on holiday for a couple of weeks and did I meet anybody. Yeah on the last fvcking day of the holiday.

But the reason for this particular rant is that I met a girl who is good-looking and single.

I have had two conversations at different occasions and if I didn't know any better I would say that she has a reasonable interest level (all the signs are there). So to be a bit of a mystery and a challenge I don't go for the number or date right away because I was certain that she would be at the same activity next week.

I also felt that this would be an appropriate time to request a phone number or casual date outside of the organised function ie I didn’t want to appear desperate (non challenge) by asking for the number too quickly.

The next week I am there ready to find out a little bit more about her and get those digits and she doesn't show up. To say I am frustrated is a fvcking understatement. To make it worse the club that I hang out at - I was there Friday and I was informed that she was there Saturday.

You would think the hands of fate would give me a break and have arranged for the both of us to be in the same place at the same time.

This situation is not new – I was building rapport with another girl and felt that it was now time to ask for digits as trust and common interests had now been established. But when I went to her place of work I found out she doesn’t work there anymore.

I am so tired of having my patience tested to its extreme limit.

I am also tired of holding back my desire to show interest in a girl by asking for a date/phone number (what does everybody think of showing interest too soon?) in order to be a challenge and ultimately have more success.

I am also tired of being seduced only by women who by time or circumstance it is not possible to consider.

I am very tired of fate, luck or circumstance undermining all of my hard work!

Comments welcome

 

[uniassign]

Mate,

Your basic problem is that you are relying on your social circle to get you the chicks. This is what AFCs do. YOu have to realise that you need SKILLS to get women.

Are you in Sydney? If you are, drop us a line and we can hang out. There are a couple of us who go out and PU women. Should join us, you will have lots of fun!

If you are not, tell us where you live, and I will hook you up.

 

[The Dominated1]

I think you have missed the point. Although thanks for the offer anyway.

I am interested in STRs or LTRs which don't involve going to nightclubs every weekend and dancing to incredibly nauseating music.

Lets just say that ONS with ugly to average girls (which most of nightclub chicks are) is not that difficult if that is what you are into.

I use any means other than nightclubs to seduce girls with "good character traits" and I do not see this as being AFC.

 

[SPETSA]

I think because you are the type of person who favors long term relationships instead of just one night/short term things, patience does pay off. I look for the same thing as you do, something long term. Not meeting the girl I'm gonna marry, but someone to keep around for a while. And it makes me a very patient person.
If you show patience early on with a girl you're interested in I think it will show her that you are sincere and she'll be more willing to open up to you. That you are the type of guy that wants something more than just the pooty (though that is a major plus ).
But this is all assuming you want something long term...if you're just looking for a one night thing, then no I don't think it pays to be patient.

 

[The Dominated1]

This is true but it is very frustrating when you put in the effort - but get cxockbloked by unforseen circumstances.

Sometimes it would be good just to have some luck swing your way.

 

[uniassign]

I am interested in STRs or LTRs which don't involve going to nightclubs every weekend and dancing to incredibly nauseating music.

We don't DANCE. PU via dancing, IMHO is for AFCs. Any guy can shake their a$$ on the dancefloor. It takes SKILLS to verbally seduce a chick. We hit bars and lounge bars as well - classy chicks there.

By practising in clubs and bars, we gain the SKILLS necessary to attract chicks under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. The relative EASE to attract the chicks at friends' parties is EMBARRASSING. This only came from practising at clubs and bars when the game is alot HARDER.

Out of interest, where do you suppose to be meeting your LTRs and STRs?

Lets just say that ONS with ugly to average girls (which most of nightclub chicks are) is not that difficult if that is what you are into.

I think you are settling for ugly to average chicks because you may lack the SKILLS to get hotter chicks. Why are you bothering with these chicks anyway???

I use any means other than nightclubs to seduce girls with "good character traits" and I do not see this as being AFC.

What are your "other means?"