do you like the idea of asking favors?

[ScrewIt]

I dont like the idea of asking favors. tahts why mostly i depend on myself. Also i despise users, so i'd hate to be one.

Why dont i like asking for favors?...

A long story shorrt, i left my gym bag at the pool hall after playing several games iwth my friends. When i got home i realized i had forgotten it. Since my friend lives only a few blocks from it, i decided why not and give him a call. He immediately went back out. when he got the bag he gave me a clal back....yes he got a little ****y with me on the phone, and it was probably an ego boost for him cause it gave him power over me.

Another time a friend asked a favor for me to take over a freelance design project for him, my drawing skills suck, yet i dont even know why i promised him i'd do it. since my friend coulndt get in contact w/the client, i was hesitant to finish it since
1) it wasnt really my client
2) Hoped the guy woudlnt contact him back.
3) took the friendship for granted
A few weeks later the client replied, and told him needed the project done....then my friend told me "forget it he'll do the project"

After this i learned, if i cant keep a promise, i shouldnt make it.
As you see it never really is a good outcome....sometimes its hard to rely on someone if they dont respect you. And when you urgently need that favor and they dont show, you're basically fvcked.

 

[Interpol]

Asking someone to do you a favor can actually result in them thinking better of you...It's a psychological phenomenon referred to as the "Ben Franklin effect".

 

[christz]

its best said

"give a person an inch and they'll take a mile from you"

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by Interpol
Asking someone to do you a favor can actually result in them thinking better of you...It's a psychological phenomenon referred to as the "Ben Franklin effect".

i agree under certain circumstances. As YOU DO need their help in doing something (which makes them feel needed and important), and them doing good makes them feel good. But sometimes its harder for guys, cause sometimes they may have a feeling of "sucking up" if they do accept the favor.

and certain situations are "in between" where sometimes they'll accept the favor, yet prolong completing it because once they feel they've accomplished it, you wont have a need for them anymore ( feeling of being used).

its best said

"give a person an inch and they'll take a mile from you"

good point, think you summed it up nicely.

 

[unformed]

es he got a little ****y with me on the phone, and it was probably an ego boost for him cause it gave him power over me

WTF? Freinds shouldn't be getting ego boosts by "having power over each other".

--
Returning to the original question, I don't generally ask for favors. I get things done myself. However, if I do need to ask for a favor, I'm not concerned about what somebody thinks about it, because they're -my friend- and I know they will help me out when needed, and I will help them as well.

 

[Interpol]

Originally posted by ScrewIt
i agree under certain circumstances. As YOU DO need their help in doing something (which makes them feel needed and important), and them doing good makes them feel good. But sometimes its harder for guys, cause sometimes they may have a feeling of "sucking up" if they do accept the favor.

and certain situations are "in between" where sometimes they'll accept the favor, yet prolong completing it because once they feel they've accomplished it, you wont have a need for them anymore ( feeling of being used).

The idea is actually that people look to their past behaviors when evaluating their opinions. For example, say that you ask someone you don't know all that well to borrow their car, and they let you. If that person was later asked how they felt about you, they might remember how they lent you their car (a valuable possesion) and decide that they wouldn't have done this unless they like you. This effect is most prominent when the person's original opinion of you is fairly neutral, and less prominent when they have already formed a strong negative or positive attitude towards you.