LittleRiverBand
Banned
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2009
- Messages
- 73
- Reaction score
- 2
I'm convinced that a lot of people, not just on this forum but a few on this forum in particular don't want to change and are comfortable in their perpetual discomfort. I was one of them. I also had clinical, life-threatening depression and extreme social anxiety. You know those Anxiety and Depression infomercials with the milf and the people interviewed say "I don't want to live but I don't want to die." That was me.
After getting help, I was a little better but I was still feeling sorry for myself and had no reason to. I was medicated and had sought talk therapy and I was choosing to feel bad for myself. Here were some of my sticking points besides the extreme social anxiety:
1.)I thought 95% percent of women thought I was ugly beyond repair. There was no way I was going to talk to a woman or even met one offline and if a woman had approached me I probably would have blown it anyway by being too horny, needy, and insecure like George from Seinfeld.
2.)Since I had never felt a pair of big breasts before, I had this big boob obsession and only paid attention to well endowed women. This was of course (besides the curiosity of feeling a big chest) an excuse and buffer zone for not being interested in other women and a way to think "Oh most women aren't for me anyway."
3.)I desperately wanted to be a great looking guy. It wasn't so much for other people as it was I wanted to be some Derek Jeter, Richard Gere smooth pretty boy with the "it" factor. This was of course because I didn't value myself much.
Long story short, I changed my beliefs, grew some self-esteem, realized that you don't have to be an "it" guy to get laid or date attractive women and improved my look and put on some weight to get the correct body mass index for my height - 6'1'' and a half. I had my first date at the age of 25 and my first kiss since the age of 17 and have fooled around (meaning everything but sex) with a couple women.
I still have a long way to go. Like that Huey Lewis song Jacob's Ladder says "All I want for tomorrow is to be better than today." But for me to even get to THIS point, it took a lot of changes in thought pattern and lifestyle.
I know a college student on this forum that's more of a lurker than a poster. We've been talking for almost 2 years now and he hasn't made one change in his life. Sure, he has a job, goes to college, but he doesn't live on campus and doesn't talk to any girls in his classes. He's really shy and I can empathize but he does absolutely nothing to get out of his comfort zone and spends his time complaining about how he doesn't get laid.
The problem with the bootcamp is how he or anyone like him going to say hi to 50 people and get 10 numbers when they can't even ask a girl in their class what the homework assignment is? To me before you even go out in the field you have to change your mindset and make the decision that the way you're living is counterproductive to meeting women and making friends.
Do you think that people like him don't want to change or is it that they're so overwhelmed that they don't know where to start and they also want dessert without eating dinner? And what small steps can they take to get out of their perpetual comfort zone?
After getting help, I was a little better but I was still feeling sorry for myself and had no reason to. I was medicated and had sought talk therapy and I was choosing to feel bad for myself. Here were some of my sticking points besides the extreme social anxiety:
1.)I thought 95% percent of women thought I was ugly beyond repair. There was no way I was going to talk to a woman or even met one offline and if a woman had approached me I probably would have blown it anyway by being too horny, needy, and insecure like George from Seinfeld.
2.)Since I had never felt a pair of big breasts before, I had this big boob obsession and only paid attention to well endowed women. This was of course (besides the curiosity of feeling a big chest) an excuse and buffer zone for not being interested in other women and a way to think "Oh most women aren't for me anyway."
3.)I desperately wanted to be a great looking guy. It wasn't so much for other people as it was I wanted to be some Derek Jeter, Richard Gere smooth pretty boy with the "it" factor. This was of course because I didn't value myself much.
Long story short, I changed my beliefs, grew some self-esteem, realized that you don't have to be an "it" guy to get laid or date attractive women and improved my look and put on some weight to get the correct body mass index for my height - 6'1'' and a half. I had my first date at the age of 25 and my first kiss since the age of 17 and have fooled around (meaning everything but sex) with a couple women.
I still have a long way to go. Like that Huey Lewis song Jacob's Ladder says "All I want for tomorrow is to be better than today." But for me to even get to THIS point, it took a lot of changes in thought pattern and lifestyle.
I know a college student on this forum that's more of a lurker than a poster. We've been talking for almost 2 years now and he hasn't made one change in his life. Sure, he has a job, goes to college, but he doesn't live on campus and doesn't talk to any girls in his classes. He's really shy and I can empathize but he does absolutely nothing to get out of his comfort zone and spends his time complaining about how he doesn't get laid.
The problem with the bootcamp is how he or anyone like him going to say hi to 50 people and get 10 numbers when they can't even ask a girl in their class what the homework assignment is? To me before you even go out in the field you have to change your mindset and make the decision that the way you're living is counterproductive to meeting women and making friends.
Do you think that people like him don't want to change or is it that they're so overwhelmed that they don't know where to start and they also want dessert without eating dinner? And what small steps can they take to get out of their perpetual comfort zone?